Romance versus Sex

This is a topic I've thought about a lot down through the years, and I would like to get some opinions. I am a male and it might be a good thing to indicate one's gender if one is going to speak on this topic--unless you want to play games.I find romance superior to the raw act of sex, although I certainly enjoy that as well. I find that odd, since the point of Romance, one would think, would be to consummate.But the fact that I find Romance superior makes me think that the whole business may be a little more complicated than that. It makes me think that this "thrill" is an imaginary construct. There's not that much to it really--mostly psychological.coffee house!This message has been edited by robinrohan, 11-04-2005 04:28 PM

Maybe it can just go into the Coffee house?

Yes!

Thread moved here from the Proposed New Topics forum.

I've often said: "Making love is better than having sex."I think it is far better. I spent twenty years falling more deeply in love with my wife and the love making kept getting better; never boring but without any "kinky" stuff just to add artificial variety.I've dated a few women since but, while sex was often very good, it didn't get to the same place for me. Partially because it takes a lot of time I think and partially that was what told me that there was some limit on the feelings I had for them and they for me.I still hope.

Being a male college student, I can honestly say that sex gets old. Not that it's not enjoyable, but just like everything in life, the thrill is gone after a while.Nowadays, I'd much rather get to know somebody for while (a month?) before we have sex. The emotional connection is what makes it all worth while.This may because I'm getting older (21) and am interested in a relationship, with sex being just apart of that relationship, not the reason for it.

sex in and of itself is so uninteresting. mind you i'm a machine with more drive than most guys i know put together... but yeah. blech. it's gross and sweaty and smelly and it seriously infringes on my space bubble.but god if that time with my boy isn't the greatest time on earth.i had unattached sex once. it was horrible. it just felt so empty and useless.
but if you read the third chimpanzee, there is some evidence that human sex (because it is so painfully inefficient at causing pregnancy) is mostly meant to define a relationship apart from the herd... to create a lasting bond between two people. how about that?

Call me old fashioned, but I was allways taught sex was best between two people who love each other. As a result, I never engaged in casual sex. I am now happily married and sex couldn't be any better. Mostly because it is a wonderfull expression of the feelings we have for each other.

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I find romance superior to the raw act of sex....

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I find the two to be different and separate enough that I cannot really compare the two. Sort of like trying to compare potato chips with a cheese dip and corn chips with a bean dip; I may in general have a preference of one over the other, but which I choose at any particular time would depend on my mood at that time.

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"Intellectually, scientifically, even artistically, fundamentalism -- biblical literalism -- is a road to nowhere, because it insists on fidelity to revealed truths that are not true." -- Katha Pollitt

You aren't alone. Consumation is cheap and quick, courtship is long and expensive, for perhaps the majority of higher organisms. Consider the peacock's tail, etc.Mick

Let me just make a comment about what I mean by "romance."It is the most delicious feeling in the world, but it does not last. One can, however, experience it more than once. I have. Sex, as such, is as nothing compared to it.It is not "love" in the sense of the love I have for my wife whom I have been married to for 25 years. Totally different. I prefer to call that kind of love--which is tne most important--by the very unromantic term "affection."But romance, as I define it, is not "affection."It's much more exciting.I want to know if others recognize what I'm referring to.

Ha! For once I actually did understand you!

I think I understand very well too. I was lucky to have both that affection and a strong, excited romantic feeling for my wife for the whole time. I would get dizzy if she hugged me. I do miss her.

I don't understand Every now and then I spurt out a few hundred million chromosomes... it feels okay... Am I missing something?Mickps. It may be a new american invention. No doubt, we'll get it the UK in in a couple of years' time.This message has been edited by mick, 11-04-2005 07:03 PM

romanceto bring another to a state of rapture and acceptance
to seduce and be seduced
to move beyond sex
to find joy in the mixing of selvesis that part of it?

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we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

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