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Author Topic:   Humour VI
onifre
Member
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 46 of 553 (605914)
02-22-2011 6:52 PM


Shameless self promotion
If you're in the states, please follow this link (watch my 1-min video) and text if you can so I win this thing.

South Beach Comedy Festival

Thanks in advance,

- Oni


Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 47 of 553 (606335)
02-24-2011 9:25 PM


This is hilarious because I'm juvenile

Notice, he never answers whether he is a lizard or not...

- Oni


Replies to this message:
 Message 48 by Straggler, posted 02-26-2011 6:06 PM onifre has responded

  
Straggler
Member
Posts: 9976
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 48 of 553 (606586)
02-26-2011 6:06 PM
Reply to: Message 47 by onifre
02-24-2011 9:25 PM


Re: This is hilarious because I'm juvenile
You are juvenile. And it is hilarious.

But more to the point - No reaction to my rhyme entirely dedicated to you earlier upthread?

Have I managed to offend the Oni-ister?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 47 by onifre, posted 02-24-2011 9:25 PM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 65 by onifre, posted 03-05-2011 10:02 PM Straggler has responded

frako
Member
Posts: 2425
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 1.0


Message 49 of 553 (606736)
02-28-2011 5:24 AM


Thers no gravity thers only intelligent pulling.


  
RAZD
Member
Posts: 16121
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.1


Message 50 of 553 (606752)
02-28-2011 8:08 AM
Reply to: Message 45 by Minnemooseus
02-22-2011 12:49 AM


Re: The Far Left Side
Here's another one.

Not so much funny as telling.

quote:

http://www.farleftside.com/2011/2-28-2011.gif

Where's the republican outrage that this question is even asked.

If this had been said about Bush, imho the replies would be extremely different.

Enjoy


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

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frako
Member
Posts: 2425
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 1.0


Message 51 of 553 (606758)
02-28-2011 9:11 AM


MADE ME LOL cause its so true.


Replies to this message:
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Taz
Member
Posts: 5064
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 52 of 553 (606773)
02-28-2011 10:34 AM
Reply to: Message 51 by frako
02-28-2011 9:11 AM


I love one word answers

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Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3251
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001


Message 53 of 553 (606910)
02-28-2011 10:49 PM


Polka Dot Undies
The local public radio station (KUMD) has a one hour program devoted to things Bob Dylan. Usually this is Bob performances, but the current show was mostly devoted to Dylan covers and things related to Dylan by other artists.

One thing played was "Polka Dot Undies", by an artist whose name I didn't catch. I presume it's the same person as the following video:

Moose


Replies to this message:
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Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3355
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 2.2


Message 54 of 553 (606918)
02-28-2011 11:51 PM
Reply to: Message 53 by Minnemooseus
02-28-2011 10:49 PM


Re: Polka Dot Undies
Well.

After Bowser and Blue performed Polka Dot Undies, had you suffered through "The Colorectal Surgeon" and "Bumdarts" you could have seen and offered us "Life Will Be Great (When We're Dead)" which, dealing as it does with suicide bombers, at least would have been relevant to this site.

I watched them all. I have been maimed.

They're decent guitarists and singers, though. I wonder what went wrong.



Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-Shakespeare

Real things always push back.
-William James


This message is a reply to:
 Message 53 by Minnemooseus, posted 02-28-2011 10:49 PM Minnemooseus has acknowledged this reply

  
Artemis Entreri 
Suspended Member (Idle past 723 days)
Posts: 1194
From: Northern Virginia
Joined: 07-08-2008


Message 55 of 553 (607024)
03-01-2011 1:22 PM


I love rap and battles and history, so this is just great!


xongsmith
Member
Posts: 1395
From: massachusetts US
Joined: 01-01-2009
Member Rating: 1.0


Message 56 of 553 (607038)
03-01-2011 2:37 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by AdminModulous
02-06-2011 2:14 PM


Not so sure this is good enough (being very old and trod-on dirt from way back, but):

http://www.fatherlyadviceandrants.com/...nd-its-progeny.html

After a while it gets tedious. Some of the ones I liked:

"When your cat has fallen asleep on
your lap and looks utterly content and adorable you will
suddenly have to go to the bathroom."

"The cream rises to the top.
So does the scum."

"The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the
time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent."

"In order to get a loan you must
first prove you don't need it."

"IMBESI'S LAW OF THE CONSERVATION OF FILTH
In order for something to become clean, something else
must become dirty."

"The first bug to hit a clean
windshield lands directly in front of your eyes."

....at which point I must ask "what was the last thing that come out of the bug's mouth when he hit the windshield?"


- xongsmith, 5.7d
This message is a reply to:
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Theodoric
Member
Posts: 4651
From: Northwest, WI, USA
Joined: 08-15-2005
Member Rating: 2.1


Message 57 of 553 (607048)
03-01-2011 3:18 PM
Reply to: Message 56 by xongsmith
03-01-2011 2:37 PM


"what was the last thing that come out of the bug's mouth when he hit the windshield?"

The joke as I know it is.
What is the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield?

Edited by Theodoric, : No reason given.


This message is a reply to:
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rueh
Member (Idle past 156 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


Message 58 of 553 (607515)
03-04-2011 10:38 AM


Save the Earth
Recent studies have shown a positive correlation between happiness and longevity. source Studies have also shown that we are reaching a population limit here on Earth.source
So conversely if people were a little less happy, than Earths population may begin to decline. Won't you take a few minutes out of your day to help save the Earth by telling someone to go fuck themselves?


'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
Replies to this message:
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Straggler
Member
Posts: 9976
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 59 of 553 (607538)
03-04-2011 1:11 PM
Reply to: Message 58 by rueh
03-04-2011 10:38 AM


Re: Save the Earth
Won't you take a few minutes out of your day to help save the Earth by telling someone to go fuck themselves?

Dude - GO FUCK YOURSELF

Hopefully you are now less happy than before and will thus die sooner.

Happy now?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 58 by rueh, posted 03-04-2011 10:38 AM rueh has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 60 by rueh, posted 03-04-2011 2:04 PM Straggler has responded

rueh
Member (Idle past 156 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


Message 60 of 553 (607547)
03-04-2011 2:04 PM
Reply to: Message 59 by Straggler
03-04-2011 1:11 PM


Re: Save the Earth
Straggler writes:

Happy now?

No, thus you have done your job and helped to save the Earth. Good job.


'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
This message is a reply to:
 Message 59 by Straggler, posted 03-04-2011 1:11 PM Straggler has responded

Replies to this message:
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