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Author Topic:   Humour VII
bluegenes
Member
Posts: 2812
From: U.K.
Joined: 01-24-2007
Member Rating: 2.0


Message 31 of 1042 (650658)
02-01-2012 6:05 PM
Reply to: Message 30 by Dr Adequate
02-01-2012 3:37 PM


Re: Courting Rules: How To Tell If A Woman Is Really A Christian
Dr Adequate writes:

How To Tell If A Woman Is Really A Christian

Wow. What ignorance to go to all those lengths. Everyone knows that all you need to do is throw her in a pond with a big rock tied to her feet. If she floats, she's a witch or an atheist, and if she drowns, she's a good Christian. All over in about 8 minutes, bar the funeral.

Someone should tell him.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 30 by Dr Adequate, posted 02-01-2012 3:37 PM Dr Adequate has not yet responded

Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 12604
Joined: 07-20-2006
Member Rating: 2.8


(1)
Message 32 of 1042 (650695)
02-02-2012 9:30 AM



onifre
Member
Posts: 4851
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


(1)
Message 33 of 1042 (650803)
02-03-2012 3:22 AM


Specifically
MIke the Wiz:
quote:
You see, the real question is, what do I mean when I say that evolution is a fact? Indeed, what do you mean, and do you know what you mean, specifically? The operative word, is specifically. Specific things fascinate me. Specifically, YOU mean that both a change in allele frequencies AND all lifeforms coming about because of this fact, are "fact". This is called, equivocation.

- Oni


  
rueh
Member (Idle past 41 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


(2)
Message 34 of 1042 (650811)
02-03-2012 8:09 AM


The Afghan Quarterback
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan .. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit !"


'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff

bluegenes
Member
Posts: 2812
From: U.K.
Joined: 01-24-2007
Member Rating: 2.0


(1)
Message 35 of 1042 (651096)
02-04-2012 12:10 PM


Acts of God, free will and determinism

frako
Member
Posts: 2401
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 2.7


Message 36 of 1042 (651161)
02-05-2012 6:42 AM


Unbapthism atheists should start practising that if these nuts keep calling atheism a religion.


Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

  
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 12604
Joined: 07-20-2006
Member Rating: 2.8


Message 37 of 1042 (651363)
02-06-2012 4:14 PM


People mistaking the Onion for news is not really funny any more.

Except when they're congressmen.


frako
Member
Posts: 2401
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 2.7


Message 38 of 1042 (651705)
02-09-2012 1:07 PM


"Have you properly Christianized them?"

"Yes m'lud."

"Then why is no one coming to church?"

"Because we properly Christianized them."

TomFynn pred 1 mesec 136

Top rated comment loled when i saw it.

love QI because i like trivia.

Edited by frako, : No reason given.


Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

  
hooah212002 
Suspended Member
Posts: 3162
Joined: 08-12-2009
Member Rating: 2.0


Message 39 of 1042 (651997)
02-11-2012 12:35 PM


Goddamned crazy Norwegians

"There is no refutation of Darwinian evolution in existence. If a refutation ever were to come about, it would come from a scientist, and not an idiot." -Dawkins

  
Asgara
Member
Posts: 1686
From: Wisconsin, USA
Joined: 05-10-2003
Member Rating: 10.0


(2)
Message 40 of 1042 (652020)
02-11-2012 6:47 PM


Cricket anyone?

Replies to this message:
 Message 43 by Omnivorous, posted 02-12-2012 4:33 PM Asgara has not yet responded

  
frako
Member
Posts: 2401
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 2.7


(1)
Message 41 of 1042 (652071)
02-12-2012 8:25 AM


rofl


Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

  
frako
Member
Posts: 2401
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 2.7


Message 42 of 1042 (652104)
02-12-2012 2:05 PM


hehe so true


Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

  
Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3293
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 4.3


(1)
Message 43 of 1042 (652141)
02-12-2012 4:33 PM
Reply to: Message 40 by Asgara
02-11-2012 6:47 PM


Re: Cricket anyone?
That voice...

I watched golf on the tube once. Took years to recover.

Now I am narcoleptic again, maybe forever.


"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."

This message is a reply to:
 Message 40 by Asgara, posted 02-11-2012 6:47 PM Asgara has not yet responded

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 7304
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.0


Message 44 of 1042 (652298)
02-13-2012 10:37 AM


Are They Serious?
Bishop Eddie Long annointed with torah scroll:


subbie
Member
Posts: 3341
Joined: 02-26-2006
Member Rating: 6.4


(1)
Message 45 of 1042 (652300)
02-13-2012 10:44 AM


Using their own words against them
Priceless!


Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson

We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat

It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate

...creationists have a great way to detect fraud and it doesn't take 8 or 40 years or even a scientific degree to spot the fraud--'if it disagrees with the bible then it is wrong'.... -- archaeologist


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