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Author Topic:   Gay penguins
jar
Member (Idle past 393 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 4 of 22 (184116)
02-09-2005 2:18 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by coffee_addict
02-09-2005 12:37 PM


shamelessly stolen.
Why gay people should NOT be allowed to get married
12 reasons why gay people should not be allowed to get married
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control. (You just imagined the penguins. Anyway, penguins are unnatural: they're birds, they fly underwater. Nuff said.)
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer life spans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

Aslan is not a Tame Lion

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by coffee_addict, posted 02-09-2005 12:37 PM coffee_addict has not replied

jar
Member (Idle past 393 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 21 of 22 (195076)
03-28-2005 10:53 PM
Reply to: Message 20 by Coragyps
03-28-2005 10:07 PM


Re: gots ta be the formal wear
The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.
"Dopey, my son," said the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asked, "Excuse me, Your Eminence, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thought for a moment and answers,"No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background the other dwarfs start giggling.
Dopey turns around and gives them a fiery stare, silencing them.
Dopey turns back to the Pope. "Your Holiness, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"
The Pope, still puzzled, answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe."
This time, all the dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with a furious glare.
Dopey turns back to the Pope and asks, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole world?"
The Pope replies, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, tears running down their,cheeks as they begin chanting:
"Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"

Aslan is not a Tame Lion

This message is a reply to:
 Message 20 by Coragyps, posted 03-28-2005 10:07 PM Coragyps has not replied

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