The Three Minute SOAPBOX:

My Life as a TransitionalA Not-Quite-So-Epic-As-Some-Would-Have-It Poem in Rhymed Coupletsby Parasomnium(End notes by Robin Rohan)'t Was not the state of Belgium, but to its north a nation,
where my daddy's sperm met with my dearest mummy's ovum,
and it truly was a cause for the most happy celebration,
for it turned out that I was really something of a novum.

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It took nine months fiddling, most painstaking,
by the mixture of my parents' DNA,
the genes in which took part in the decision making
of which limb went where, and how to keep deformity at bay.

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Then came the day of my first stage appearance,
which I'm often told was very untraditional,
'cause though most babies' first cries lack coherence,
mine were: "Good afternoon, I'm a transitional."

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I looked not too much unlike my lovely mother
though it seemed that that was nothing new,
we had seen the same thing in my elder brother
who, it appeared, looked somewhat like my mother too.

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And both of us, we had my handsome father's looks as well,
which also was not much of a surprise,
because once we were a tiny embryonic cell,
it was determined we would have his ears and eyes.

​

On my first occasion in the world at large I spent
a long time walking down a graded slope,
shaking hands with many predecessors, until at the end
I found that I was talking to a microscope.

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After tweaking some parameters to clear away the static,
(the thing was not the optic kind, and electrons were buzzin')
I saw something that, to me at least, appeared quite enzymatic
but which I knew to be my very oldest cousin.

​

Having seen I came from not much more than a colloidal solution,
I discarded so-called theories of intelligent design,
for I knew now that the process we call evolution
is a mindless trick of nature, and hardly anything devine.

​

With my new-gained knowledge, to a site called EvC I sped
where I was welcomed and all posters to a man wished
me good luck and happy learning, so I opened up a thread,
in which I started well, but was soon completely vanquished.

​

The discussion veered towards a species' definition,
and after many messages containing verbal mincing,
one of the debaters, who was a kind of politician,
still thought of seamlessness as very unconvincing.

​

Then, in the coffee house, he called on my poetic skill
to which I happily obliged, the result of which you're reading
I did my very best and I sincerely hope it fits the bill:
it'll have to, for all this rhyming is my normal life impeding.

Dear America,Now that you have carried out your 1000th execution, isn't it about time that you rejoined the civilized world again and stopped this barbaric practice? Enough is enough, wouldn't you agree? I mean, what kind of nation puts its own civilians to death? I am not asking you to feel compassion with the convicts, maybe some of them deserve to die, but that doesn't mean you have to actually kill them. Why do you lower yourself to their level and do exactly to them that which you condemn them for? How is that an example? The way I see it is that with each execution, you not only kill a person, but you kill a litle bit of your own greatness. To paraphrase one of your fellow countrymen: it's a small stumble for a convict, but it's a giant plunge for a nation.No, what I am asking you, is to rise to the challenge of becoming a better nation, because I have come to look upon you, America, as being a bit simple-minded. With this an-eye-for-an-eye mentality of yours, you really don't look much better than the Taleban of Afghanistan, I'm afraid. And your infatuation with religion only reinforces that impression, and makes it hard for me to take you seriously.In the relatively short timespan of your existence you have grown a lot of muscle and have shown that you know how to use it. Now it's time to grow the accompanying brain a mature nation needs to keep all that muscle in check. I wish you strength, but above all, wisdom.Yours sincerely,Your cousin Europe.P.S. EvC-ers, when can I read some more excerpts from those books Robin hauled from the library?This message has been edited by Parasomnium, 02-Dec-2005 09:29 AM

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"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins