Well, I hate to say this to a compadre from upriver, but I really don't understand what the point or purpose of your thread is. So far it just looks like a rambling stream of consciousness.
The other thread was closed because it wandered all over the place.
That is a problem we see often. The reason it happens is that initially, the first post doesn't have a clear subject.
That is the case here. Frankly, all I see is that you want to put out some long personal statement. That is fine but it is not the type of thing suited to EvC.
Try this.
Try writing a short paragraph or two that outlines what question you want us to discuss. Do it as a reply to me here and I will take another look and see if we can work together to get something that is promotable.