You'll need to let me know if you are ever at the Edinburgh Festival, I live about 30 mins away and I'm sure we could do a bit of damage to a bottle of whisky or 2.
Will do, and a bottle or 2 is about right. I'd love to get into that festival. I actually had a chance to meet Danny Bhoy earlier this year in NYC on a radio show - I think he's the biggest name in comedy out of Scotland, right? He was telling me how that festival made his carrer. Nice guy, very funny.
Danny is very funny, although he does alienate some of his potential audiences with the spelling of his surname.
I'm American, explain.
There's a few good Scottish comedians at the mo, but I find Craig Hill hilarious.
I youtube him, not many videos. But what I saw was funny. He's gay right?
I also saw a dude named Stewart Lee (UK), which I loved! Never heard of him (although I think Straggler mentioned him once). He reminded me of an American comedian, Todd Barry. Same cadence, pauses and delivery as, Stewart Lee.
I love the festival, we go to quite a few shows every year. I love the intimacy of some of the venues, you can go to a show of a fairly well-known comedian and there's only room for about 30 or 40 people. That makes it harder to hide though! I always get picked on at these shows but if I've had a good drink before I go in my partner Lorna always warns me not to give any back chat!
That sounds really cool. There's a festival in NY called the NYC Underground Comedy festival which is similar to that. Small venues, intimate settings and lots of fun because the crowds, like you said, can't hide.
Sorry to hear about your friend and colleage. I hope his/her family are ok.
Anyway, for some reason, I've always thought your avatar was you. Who's that if it's not you?
The greatest comedian ever (by my standards), Bill Hicks. His shit is still relevant today and he died in 96. Which then, Denis Leary stole his enitre act and personality. There's actually an industry joke about it. Leary's first album was called "No Cure for Cancer." Hicks died of cancer. The joke is, "Why is Leary so famous? Cuz there's no cure for cancer."
I liked him in Role Models as the nerd playing Layer. He may do alright.
Did you look through the list in the link and see the 6th one down on the left? That's you, isn't it
FUCK!!!!! I have to change my name, are you serious? Wtf! Hellzzzz no that's not me, dude. That's pretty fucked up though, I hope he dies fighting crime and no one ever uses my name again.
I wonder what his real name is? Or, is he some comedy fan of mine that's obsessed with being me?
For some time I have been toying with the idea to try out some standup comedy and I had come up with yet another Superman routine. I have no idea if it's worth pursuing. I actually tried it out at one of the bars where I do Open Mike singing and the result was rather tepid. My delivery was off:
Well cool, man. If you're not scared to talk to an audience then have fun with it. Be as natural as you would be talking to your friends and this might help with your delivery. You have to delivery naturally for your timing to work also. It's all related.
The Superman Dilemma copyright 2009 Nathan A. Smith
Rated R or worse - maybe S for Stupid
First I'll say this, I like it. It's funny, quite funny. I like jokes like these that are out there creatively. Joe Rogan does bits like that (he has a bit about the dumb people out-fucking the smart people, and the dumb take over - Sorta like the movie Idiocracy).
Second, if I was reading it as a blog I would think it was perfect, but to do this joke on stage, you need to "cut the fat off." Too many words don't let the punchline hit as hard.
For example:
quote:You all are familiar with Superman, right? The Man of Steel? Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Faster than a speeding bullet...yada yada yada?
He's quite some super hero kind of a guy, cooly hiding as the mild-mannered Clark Kent, saving the world from unbelieveable disaster every issue, earning the adulation of every decent person on the planet - even the other super heroes bow to him. He'd be some kind of guy to be, if you were a guy...but before you all start thinking how neat it would be to BE him, let's all just consider this a little bit more closely.
Now, you know there are some Superman stories that they just could never put in print. Or they'd lose their important family rating right away. The comic would have to be moved into the little back room of the store.
Consider this: for years and years in the original stories he had to keep brushing off Lois Lane. Now we know he really does have a special relationship with her, and a few other women in his life, like Lana Lang and Lori Lorelei, so it's not like he's gay or anything - no - he seems to be a straight guy. But surely he must have considered the implications and thought it out. I mean - what do you think The Man of Steel's hard-on would be like? Steely Dan from Naked Lunch would have nothing on this.
But more to the point - when he came...just think, when he came, it would be like a 12-gauge shotgun going off, with all those steely guys coming out in a blast - surely he knew this would kill...so he has to think of another way.
This is the premise of your joke. Your premise is "Superman would have a massive hard-on and shoot steely sperm babies like a 12 guage shotgun, killing the poor female victim."
But you said a lot to establish that. As a blog, again, it would be hilarious, but on stage you can't be so wordy.
This is just an example, and by all means find the best way you would say it, and I'm just brainstorming, but something like this:
quote:"You ever notice you never read about the "other" side of Superman's life? The rauchy side. I mean, he is Superman, are you telling me he never this dude never got laid?
First of all, his hard-on alone would be impressive. Steely Dan from Naked Lunch would have nothing on this!
The only frightening thing would be when he came - remember he's the man of steel. So are his little sperm babies... of steel. When he shoots a load, it's like a 12 guage shotgun going off, coming out in a blast. Blowing off the head of Lois Lane."
Now that's just an example, but as you can see, we get to the premise quicker, and establish what the joke is about. Now the audience is into it.
And just keep that in mind for the rest of the joke. Condense. Cut the fat, as we say.
I will say, this:
quote:One of the last Superman stories I read was a story about how, every once in awhile, Superman would take his arch-nemesis Luthor on a furlough from the prison and they would go off and land on this red star planet where Superman had no super powers. On this planet Luthor was revered as their hero the way Superman is on earth. And Superman is regarded as the bad guy. Luthor has made an agreement to go there and help the planet and be the hero and be able to beat up that bad guy Superman there, under the condition that they then they go back to the prison on earth, lifting off in their return vehicle without super powers until out of range of the red star. Luthor thanks Superman for this every time. Aw gee, how nice, huh? Real warm and touchy-feely. Almost made me vomit.
But now I think I really know why Superman keeps going back to this place - I know why he made this deal with Luthor - it's so he can finally jack off!
Is hilarious as is! I lol'd on that one.
Btw, seriously, how high were you when you wrote this? Lol
There's a young comic here in Miami who does a lot of comic book related jokes. And jokes about just being nerdy and things that go along with that. He has done shows for SuperCon before, and other nerd events. And ah....he's ALWAYS high. So I'm just guessing it's part of the creative process to be baked when thinking of reality far out jokes like the one you wrote above.
I know it's part of my creative process.
Anyway, let me know how it goes when you try the bit again, and I hope I was of some help. Funny stuff, man. Post other if you want, I'd like to read more.
This post is inspired by Hyro, and any other pro-lifer on this site.
I recommend the last minute of this video, if anyone wants to fast-forward.
This next video is specifically for the exchange that Hyro and I had:
Hyro writes:
Jamming a vacuum with blades in to someone's crotch with then intent of killing what's inside the womb, however, is a little easier to prevent.
Oni writes:
Why don't you just post a picture of a dead fetus for the full affect?
Hyro writes:
I could be extremely graphic and provide all sorts of imagery and I could say that God is going to kill all Pro-Choicers while regurgitating various scriptures. That would be akin to what you're talking about. Me describing a process is me describing a process that most people want to pretend doesn't really happen.
I don't know if the jokes are legit or not, I haven't done the research. But I just wanted to point out that none of those guys write ANY jokes at all, they don't even sit in the monologue writers meeting. They have head writters that make the decision of which jokes will end up on the prompter. Also, the jokes for the late shows usually (not always) come through e-mails from about 1000 comics throughout the nation (both conservative and liberal). It used to be by fax but as the list grew it changed to e-mail.
So jokes like those can and do slip through, even though some of those guys aren't pro-right - except for Leno, who is pro-right btw. In fact, I rememeber one night both Kimmel and Wanda Sykes (who was a guest on Letterman that night) did the exact same joke, verbatum. She has paid writers too.
So, while I have no clue for the source of Faith's jokes, it is quite possible for them to have said it since monologue jokes can come from any where.
"Sh*t my dad says" which is a funny, funny book, has a Twitter.
I'm not saying to follow it, lets not be assholes, but you can read some of the posts. They're hilarious. It truly is shit that comes out of the mouth of a 74 year old dude.
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