Author
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Topic: Humor IV
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 432 of 540 (546206)
02-09-2010 10:39 AM
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Reply to: Message 429 by xongsmith 02-08-2010 7:25 PM
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Re: superheros and the abortion thread
Have you seen Mallrats?
quote: Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
T.S. Quint: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom... but that would kill him.
This message is a reply to: | | Message 429 by xongsmith, posted 02-08-2010 7:25 PM | | xongsmith has replied |
Replies to this message: | | Message 434 by PaulK, posted 02-09-2010 10:49 AM | | New Cat's Eye has replied | | Message 436 by xongsmith, posted 02-09-2010 2:33 PM | | New Cat's Eye has not replied |
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 435 of 540 (546222)
02-09-2010 12:10 PM
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Reply to: Message 434 by PaulK 02-09-2010 10:49 AM
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Re: superheros and the abortion thread
You must be older than me
This message is a reply to: | | Message 434 by PaulK, posted 02-09-2010 10:49 AM | | PaulK has not replied |
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 452 of 540 (547904)
02-23-2010 7:34 PM
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Local Funny Lines
In Message 28,
ZenMonkey writes: I've been meaning to go to the eye doctor to see whether or not my recent blurred night vision is due to medication or just to advancing age. Now, apparently, I'll have to go on emergency basis, as my eyes have rolled so far back in my head that the optic nerves are twanging like guitar strings. Good one. I was really distracted and didn't see it comming. In Message 108,
lyx2no writes: Before I address your post allow me a short prayer: Thank God this is in Free For All. Amen Instant classic! The amount of ridicule I feel I'm detecting, while not way-too-much smartassness. And succinct, I love it! Edited by Catholic Scientist, : No reason given.
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 493 of 540 (550444)
03-15-2010 4:36 PM
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ID Zoo
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 501 of 540 (552127)
03-26-2010 5:32 PM
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Funny puns from an email
For some reason, puns crack me up. They're lame, but I like 'em:
quote: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
That last one was pretty creative.
Replies to this message: | | Message 502 by lyx2no, posted 03-26-2010 7:12 PM | | New Cat's Eye has not replied | | Message 503 by subbie, posted 03-26-2010 8:09 PM | | New Cat's Eye has replied |
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 504 of 540 (552151)
03-26-2010 9:37 PM
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Reply to: Message 503 by subbie 03-26-2010 8:09 PM
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Re: My favorite (clean) joke.
I'm drunk and I totally did NOT get that joke. "Some monk chanted evening. He must be a stranger." I feel like I'm missing something here.
This message is a reply to: | | Message 503 by subbie, posted 03-26-2010 8:09 PM | | subbie has replied |
Replies to this message: | | Message 505 by subbie, posted 03-26-2010 9:59 PM | | New Cat's Eye has replied |
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 506 of 540 (552164)
03-27-2010 12:12 AM
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Reply to: Message 505 by subbie 03-26-2010 9:59 PM
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Re: My favorite (clean) joke.
Ever seen South Pacific? Nope! But I heard it now. And that IS funny!
This message is a reply to: | | Message 505 by subbie, posted 03-26-2010 9:59 PM | | subbie has seen this message but not replied |
Replies to this message: | | Message 507 by RAZD, posted 03-27-2010 1:50 AM | | New Cat's Eye has not replied |
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 528 of 540 (553127)
04-01-2010 3:18 PM
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Reply to: Message 527 by bluegenes 04-01-2010 12:24 PM
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Re: Suspension tool.
Wow, that was really tasteless. Didn't expect that from you.
This message is a reply to: | | Message 527 by bluegenes, posted 04-01-2010 12:24 PM | | bluegenes has replied |
Replies to this message: | | Message 530 by bluegenes, posted 04-01-2010 6:54 PM | | New Cat's Eye has seen this message but not replied |
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