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Author
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Topic: Humor V
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dwise1
Member Posts: 5946 Joined: 05-02-2006 Member Rating: 5.5
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Message 511 of 647 (595237)
12-07-2010 3:40 PM
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Reply to: Message 510 by ringo
12-07-2010 12:50 PM
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Re: Recent Exiles from the Garden?
Reminds me of when I was quite young listening to the story of Abraham wandering along the side of a hill gathering rock to build an altar. In my mind I pictured him tall and lanky with a dark beard, no moustache, and wearing a dark suit and stove-top hat. Like the only other Abraham I had ever heard of.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 510 by ringo, posted 12-07-2010 12:50 PM | | ringo has not replied |
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: 02-20-2008
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Message 512 of 647 (595271)
12-07-2010 6:17 PM
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3 Guys are in a cafe. The first guy says "I have the smallest arm in the world." The second guy says "I have the smallest head in the world." The third guy says "I have the smallest dick in the world." They all go to the Guinness Book of World records. The first guy comes back and says, I really have the smallest arm in the world! The seconds guy returns and says, I have the smallest head in the world! The third guy comes back and angrily says, WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER??? - Oni
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Coragyps
Member (Idle past 754 days) Posts: 5553 From: Snyder, Texas, USA Joined: 11-12-2002
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Message 513 of 647 (595279)
12-07-2010 6:47 PM
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Reply to: Message 511 by dwise1
12-07-2010 3:40 PM
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Re: Recent Exiles from the Garden?
Dammit, dwise1, that avatar is a good 'un!!!!!
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 511 by dwise1, posted 12-07-2010 3:40 PM | | dwise1 has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 516 by dwise1, posted 12-07-2010 10:17 PM | | Coragyps has not replied |
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Panda
Member (Idle past 3733 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined: 10-04-2010
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Message 514 of 647 (595301)
12-07-2010 9:38 PM
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Child-like
quote:
And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
Occasionally, when I want to make fun of poor English prose, I say (in a stilted child's voice) something like:
"Today I went to the zoo. And there was a lion. And it went roar. And then I ate ice cream. And it was good. And then I went home. And then I went to bed. The end." I had not noticed until now, how similar it is to the style of writing in Genesis.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 515 by arachnophilia, posted 12-07-2010 10:07 PM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied |
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arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1364 days) Posts: 9069 From: god's waiting room Joined: 05-21-2004
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Message 515 of 647 (595306)
12-07-2010 10:07 PM
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Reply to: Message 514 by Panda
12-07-2010 9:38 PM
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Re: Child-like
ok, i know, unfunny reply. but that's potentially because bible stories were written for children, and read to children. it's simply the writing style of that particular genre and time period to string together thoughts with vavs. since the original texts lacks punctuation and spacing, perhaps they were used something like periods.
אָרַח
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 514 by Panda, posted 12-07-2010 9:38 PM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied |
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dwise1
Member Posts: 5946 Joined: 05-02-2006 Member Rating: 5.5
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Message 516 of 647 (595307)
12-07-2010 10:17 PM
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Reply to: Message 513 by Coragyps
12-07-2010 6:47 PM
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Re: Recent Exiles from the Garden?
Dammit, dwise1, that avatar is a good 'un!!!!! 1968 head-shop vintage (actual button run through my scanner). Unfortunately, I had misplaced it when Return of the King was in the theatres, but I've relocated it now. I have a few others in Tengwar which say such things as:
Gandalf for PresidentJohnson is an orc Edited by dwise1, : how image obtained
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 513 by Coragyps, posted 12-07-2010 6:47 PM | | Coragyps has not replied |
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Panda
Member (Idle past 3733 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined: 10-04-2010
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Message 517 of 647 (595340)
12-08-2010 5:29 AM
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Lucky?
I realise that this is not E or C related but it happened today... There were two girls in front of me in the breakfast queue, discussing the lottery: Well, yeah, I know it’s luckier to use your birthday and your phone number, but mine is 2111198139544997743, and how likely does that sound to come up?
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Blue Jay
Member (Idle past 2718 days) Posts: 2843 From: You couldn't pronounce it with your mouthparts Joined: 02-04-2008
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Message 518 of 647 (595378)
12-08-2010 10:04 AM
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Reply to: Message 517 by Panda
12-08-2010 5:29 AM
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Re: Lucky?
Hi, Panda. Did you actually memorize that number? Or did you just make up a long one to represent the number that the woman actually said?
-Bluejay (a.k.a. Mantis, Thylacosmilus) Darwin loves you.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 517 by Panda, posted 12-08-2010 5:29 AM | | Panda has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 519 by Panda, posted 12-08-2010 10:15 AM | | Blue Jay has replied |
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Panda
Member (Idle past 3733 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined: 10-04-2010
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Message 519 of 647 (595383)
12-08-2010 10:15 AM
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Reply to: Message 518 by Blue Jay
12-08-2010 10:04 AM
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Re: Lucky?
Bluejay writes: Did you actually memorize that number? Or did you just make up a long one to represent the number that the woman actually said?
No, I made it up. There was no way I could remember the number - I am only half way to being an idiot savant.  I don't even remember my own phone number. I thought that putting "[insert date and phone number here]" would have been less humourous. (Hopefully I was correct.)
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 518 by Blue Jay, posted 12-08-2010 10:04 AM | | Blue Jay has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 520 by Blue Jay, posted 12-08-2010 10:21 AM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied | | | Message 521 by jar, posted 12-08-2010 10:23 AM | | Panda has replied | | | Message 529 by ringo, posted 12-08-2010 11:13 AM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied |
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Blue Jay
Member (Idle past 2718 days) Posts: 2843 From: You couldn't pronounce it with your mouthparts Joined: 02-04-2008
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Message 520 of 647 (595387)
12-08-2010 10:21 AM
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Reply to: Message 519 by Panda
12-08-2010 10:15 AM
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Re: Lucky?
Hi, Panda.
Panda writes: There was no way I could remember the number... I commonly make it a practice to assume new people on the forum have superpowers until I can be comfortable concluding otherwise. It derives from basic nerd survival tactics, I think. -----
Panda writes: I thought that putting "[insert date and phone number here]" would have been less humourous. (Hopefully I was correct.) Oh yeah. Definitely.
-Bluejay (a.k.a. Mantis, Thylacosmilus) Darwin loves you.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 519 by Panda, posted 12-08-2010 10:15 AM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied |
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jar
Member (Idle past 414 days) Posts: 34026 From: Texas!! Joined: 04-20-2004
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Message 521 of 647 (595388)
12-08-2010 10:23 AM
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Reply to: Message 519 by Panda
12-08-2010 10:15 AM
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Unlucky
Now that is both sad AND funny. Here you had a chance to gather both birthday and phone number information (two essential factors in The Hunt and Chase) in one fell swoop and you blew it.
Anyone so limited that they can only spell a word one way is severely handicapped!
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 519 by Panda, posted 12-08-2010 10:15 AM | | Panda has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 525 by Panda, posted 12-08-2010 10:37 AM | | jar has not replied |
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cavediver
Member (Idle past 3663 days) Posts: 4129 From: UK Joined: 06-16-2005
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Message 522 of 647 (595390)
12-08-2010 10:30 AM
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Reply to: Message 517 by Panda
12-08-2010 5:29 AM
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Re: Lucky?
Well, yeah, I know it’s luckier to use your birthday and your phone number, but mine is 2111198139544997743, and how likely does that sound to come up? I'm not sure why you find it funny. The chance of her own birthday and own phone number occuring in the lottery draw is astronomically small. She has a very good point.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 517 by Panda, posted 12-08-2010 5:29 AM | | Panda has replied |
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Panda
Member (Idle past 3733 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined: 10-04-2010
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Message 523 of 647 (595391)
12-08-2010 10:35 AM
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Reply to: Message 522 by cavediver
12-08-2010 10:30 AM
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Re: Lucky?
cavediver writes: I'm not sure why you find it funny. quote:
I know it’s luckier to use your birthday and your phone number
quote:
how likely does that sound to come up?
cavediver writes: The chance of her own birthday and own phone number occuring in the lottery draw is astronomically small.
So, which number combination should she use that is not astronomically small? Edited by Panda, : No reason given. Edited by Panda, : No reason given.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 522 by cavediver, posted 12-08-2010 10:30 AM | | cavediver has replied |
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kjsimons
Member Posts: 822 From: Orlando,FL Joined: 06-17-2003 Member Rating: 5.3
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Message 524 of 647 (595395)
12-08-2010 10:37 AM
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Reply to: Message 522 by cavediver
12-08-2010 10:30 AM
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Re: Lucky?
The chance of her own birthday and own phone number occuring in the lottery draw is astronomically small. Are you joking? Any set of numbers chosen for a lottery draw are equally unlikely, that's the joke!
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 522 by cavediver, posted 12-08-2010 10:30 AM | | cavediver has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 526 by cavediver, posted 12-08-2010 10:55 AM | | kjsimons has not replied |
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Panda
Member (Idle past 3733 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined: 10-04-2010
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Message 525 of 647 (595396)
12-08-2010 10:37 AM
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Reply to: Message 521 by jar
12-08-2010 10:23 AM
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Re: Unlucky
jar writes: Here you had a chance to gather both birthday and phone number information (two essential factors in The Hunt and Chase) in one fell swoop and you blew it.
My girlfriend would probably find it more offensive if I 'chased' stupid girls. Edited by Panda, : format
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 521 by jar, posted 12-08-2010 10:23 AM | | jar has not replied |
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