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Author | Topic: Humor V | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
enjoy - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
3 Guys are in a cafe.
The first guy says "I have the smallest arm in the world." The second guy says "I have the smallest head in the world." The third guy says "I have the smallest dick in the world." They all go to the Guinness Book of World records. The first guy comes back and says, I really have the smallest arm in the world! The seconds guy returns and says, I have the smallest head in the world! The third guy comes back and angrily says, WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER??? - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
This has made me literally laugh out loud in an airport bar. Holy Shit!!! That was hilarious dude. Thanks
- Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Best line: "Rape me in my thigh." - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Sexual Harassment Day... why not?
Now who says he's a misogynist? - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Louis CK vs Bill Donahue
- Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Have you received any reviews from people who actually haven't seen your act? No not really. Actually that's not true. I sent a headshot & bio to a booker who ended up never booking me. I found out later the reason why he didn't book me was that he felt I didn't "look" funny. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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So, probably just funny to me and xong.
- Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
70 degrees today in Miami. Suck it Canada!
- Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Jim Jeffries is one funny fuckin Aussie. I've seen audiences turn on him for his religious material. But he always gets them back. Plus, being an Aussie gets him some slack. This is my fav Jeffries video: - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Word! We're fb friends?
I post most of the videos you post here on fb. Love your taste in humor. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I see
Cool. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
This is why at our social events all the men are in a group and all the women are in their own seperate group with the occasional gay guy(s).
I would agree with you that married women are boring as fuck, and for the most part, single women I only want to fuck. So I'll listen to anything they say while pumping copious amounts of alcohol down their gullet in hopes that they'll eventually shut the fuck up about what classes they need to take next semester. Granted, I should seriously consider talking to women my own age, but they usually come with baggage that I couldn't handle - like kids, ex's who they complain about, the need to settle down. Yicks and yuck to all that shit. But sports rock, Dwise1. Wtf man? All that ballroom dancing has got you a bit light on the loafers? I'll give you that regular season games can get boring, but 1) there is nothing more exciting than watching a live game 2) the playoffs and finals, like the Super Bowl and the World Series, or my fav, the World Cup, can be a blast around people who share the same interest. A bar during the Cup, Super Bowl, NBA finals or the final game of the World Series is pure insanity. And there's lots of women there too!!! (talking shit and annoying the men, but hey, they're there at least) - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2971 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
"rock"? As in "sinks like a rock"? Sports are mind-numbingly boring. Even you need to go to a bar and get drunk to deaden your own brains and whip each other into a frenzy in order for it to hold your interest. Yicks! What happened, man, did you get raped by a PE coach or something? You have a very odd perception of what it's like to hang with some friends and watch a game. You can admire athleticism without getting all gay about it.
And I've known that sports are boring for almost my entire life, several decades before I started learning to dance. Yeah I'm sure it was right around the time you weren't getting picked for any sports and you showed zero athletic ability. Time to become a hater and join a dance team. - Oni
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