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Author Topic:   Humor V
onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 402 of 647 (590773)
11-09-2010 7:55 PM


For anyone 35 and older
enjoy
- Oni

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 512 of 647 (595271)
12-07-2010 6:17 PM


3 Guys are in a cafe.
The first guy says "I have the smallest arm in the world."
The second guy says "I have the smallest head in the world."
The third guy says "I have the smallest dick in the world."
They all go to the Guinness Book of World records.
The first guy comes back and says, I really have the smallest arm in the world!
The seconds guy returns and says, I have the smallest head in the world!
The third guy comes back and angrily says, WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER???
- Oni

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 577 of 647 (598272)
12-29-2010 9:44 PM
Reply to: Message 564 by frako
12-24-2010 7:52 PM


This has made me literally laugh out loud in an airport bar. Holy Shit!!! That was hilarious dude. Thanks
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 564 by frako, posted 12-24-2010 7:52 PM frako has not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 578 of 647 (598274)
12-29-2010 10:04 PM


I can't stop listening to Korean Boy
Best line: "Rape me in my thigh."
- Oni

Replies to this message:
 Message 579 by Omnivorous, posted 12-29-2010 10:41 PM onifre has seen this message but not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 580 of 647 (598408)
12-30-2010 6:00 PM


Everyone's favorite, Patrice.
Sexual Harassment Day... why not?
Now who says he's a misogynist?
- Oni

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 582 of 647 (599197)
01-05-2011 1:32 PM


If you, like me, hate Bill Donahue...
Louis CK vs Bill Donahue
- Oni

Replies to this message:
 Message 584 by Trae, posted 01-12-2011 4:05 AM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 586 of 647 (600315)
01-13-2011 10:22 PM
Reply to: Message 584 by Trae
01-12-2011 4:05 AM


Re: If you, like me, hate Bill Donahue...
Have you received any reviews from people who actually haven't seen your act?
No not really. Actually that's not true. I sent a headshot & bio to a booker who ended up never booking me. I found out later the reason why he didn't book me was that he felt I didn't "look" funny.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 584 by Trae, posted 01-12-2011 4:05 AM Trae has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 592 by Trae, posted 01-20-2011 6:42 PM onifre has not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


(1)
Message 587 of 647 (601135)
01-18-2011 10:03 PM


Funny for those in the over 85%
So, probably just funny to me and xong.
- Oni

Replies to this message:
 Message 589 by xongsmith, posted 01-19-2011 5:25 PM onifre has seen this message but not replied
 Message 590 by cavediver, posted 01-19-2011 5:50 PM onifre has seen this message but not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 603 of 647 (602050)
01-25-2011 7:07 PM
Reply to: Message 601 by ringo
01-25-2011 4:51 PM


70 degrees today in Miami. Suck it Canada!
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 601 by ringo, posted 01-25-2011 4:51 PM ringo has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 607 by Taz, posted 01-25-2011 11:05 PM onifre has not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 615 of 647 (603049)
02-02-2011 1:30 PM
Reply to: Message 614 by hooah212002
02-01-2011 7:54 PM


Re: Jim Jeffries rips christians
Jim Jeffries is one funny fuckin Aussie.
I've seen audiences turn on him for his religious material. But he always gets them back. Plus, being an Aussie gets him some slack.
This is my fav Jeffries video:
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 614 by hooah212002, posted 02-01-2011 7:54 PM hooah212002 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 617 by hooah212002, posted 02-02-2011 8:41 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 618 of 647 (603127)
02-02-2011 8:57 PM
Reply to: Message 617 by hooah212002
02-02-2011 8:41 PM


Re: Jim Jeffries rips christians
Word! We're fb friends?
I post most of the videos you post here on fb. Love your taste in humor.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 617 by hooah212002, posted 02-02-2011 8:41 PM hooah212002 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 619 by hooah212002, posted 02-02-2011 9:16 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 620 of 647 (603134)
02-02-2011 9:31 PM
Reply to: Message 619 by hooah212002
02-02-2011 9:16 PM


Re: Jim Jeffries rips christians
I see
Cool.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 619 by hooah212002, posted 02-02-2011 9:16 PM hooah212002 has seen this message but not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 643 of 647 (603610)
02-05-2011 9:22 PM
Reply to: Message 639 by Taz
02-05-2011 11:29 AM


Re: Westboro Baptist set to picket....
This is why at our social events all the men are in a group and all the women are in their own seperate group with the occasional gay guy(s).
I would agree with you that married women are boring as fuck, and for the most part, single women I only want to fuck. So I'll listen to anything they say while pumping copious amounts of alcohol down their gullet in hopes that they'll eventually shut the fuck up about what classes they need to take next semester.
Granted, I should seriously consider talking to women my own age, but they usually come with baggage that I couldn't handle - like kids, ex's who they complain about, the need to settle down. Yicks and yuck to all that shit.
But sports rock, Dwise1. Wtf man? All that ballroom dancing has got you a bit light on the loafers? I'll give you that regular season games can get boring, but 1) there is nothing more exciting than watching a live game 2) the playoffs and finals, like the Super Bowl and the World Series, or my fav, the World Cup, can be a blast around people who share the same interest.
A bar during the Cup, Super Bowl, NBA finals or the final game of the World Series is pure insanity. And there's lots of women there too!!! (talking shit and annoying the men, but hey, they're there at least)
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 639 by Taz, posted 02-05-2011 11:29 AM Taz has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 644 by dwise1, posted 02-06-2011 3:11 AM onifre has replied
 Message 645 by frako, posted 02-06-2011 7:53 AM onifre has not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 646 of 647 (603636)
02-06-2011 12:16 PM
Reply to: Message 644 by dwise1
02-06-2011 3:11 AM


Re: Westboro Baptist set to picket....
"rock"? As in "sinks like a rock"? Sports are mind-numbingly boring. Even you need to go to a bar and get drunk to deaden your own brains and whip each other into a frenzy in order for it to hold your interest.
Yicks! What happened, man, did you get raped by a PE coach or something?
You have a very odd perception of what it's like to hang with some friends and watch a game. You can admire athleticism without getting all gay about it.
And I've known that sports are boring for almost my entire life, several decades before I started learning to dance.
Yeah I'm sure it was right around the time you weren't getting picked for any sports and you showed zero athletic ability. Time to become a hater and join a dance team.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 644 by dwise1, posted 02-06-2011 3:11 AM dwise1 has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 647 by AdminModulous, posted 02-06-2011 2:15 PM onifre has not replied

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