Understanding through Discussion


Welcome! You are not logged in. [ Login ]
EvC Forum active members: 83 (8871 total)
Current session began: 
Page Loaded: 11-13-2018 9:45 PM
197 online now:
Capt Stormfield, kjsimons, Percy (Admin) (3 members, 194 visitors)
Chatting now:  Chat room empty
Newest Member: paradigm of types
Post Volume:
Total: 841,908 Year: 16,731/29,783 Month: 719/1,956 Week: 222/331 Day: 98/43 Hour: 4/3


Thread  Details

Email This Thread
Newer Topic | Older Topic
  
RewPrev1
...
910
11
1213
...
70NextFF
Author Topic:   Humour VII
onifre
Member (Idle past 899 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 151 of 1042 (656816)
03-22-2012 10:21 AM
Reply to: Message 146 by subbie
03-21-2012 5:08 PM


Re: Twitter was invented 30 years too late....
Sadly though, the school says no. School says no

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 146 by subbie, posted 03-21-2012 5:08 PM subbie has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 152 by subbie, posted 03-22-2012 10:24 AM onifre has responded

  
subbie
Member
Posts: 3508
Joined: 02-26-2006


(1)
Message 152 of 1042 (656818)
03-22-2012 10:24 AM
Reply to: Message 151 by onifre
03-22-2012 10:21 AM


Re: Twitter was invented 30 years too late....
Hey, if I got a couple of porn stars to go out with me when I was 18, the prom would be the LAST place I'd want to take them.

Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson

We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat

It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate

Howling about evidence is a conversation stopper, and it never stops to think if the claim could possibly be true -- foreveryoung


This message is a reply to:
 Message 151 by onifre, posted 03-22-2012 10:21 AM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 154 by onifre, posted 03-23-2012 2:01 AM subbie has responded

rueh
Member (Idle past 1609 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


Message 153 of 1042 (656863)
03-22-2012 5:08 PM


More Tebow

'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff

onifre
Member (Idle past 899 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 154 of 1042 (656911)
03-23-2012 2:01 AM
Reply to: Message 152 by subbie
03-22-2012 10:24 AM


Re: Twitter was invented 30 years too late....
Me too! but the pornstar that agreed is married and was only doing it because she hadn't gone to prom herself and thought it was sweet to be asked by the kid. So no HJ's, BJ's or any J's were going to happen.

It's the ol' rub and tug for the kid at the end of the day.

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 152 by subbie, posted 03-22-2012 10:24 AM subbie has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 156 by subbie, posted 03-23-2012 9:53 AM onifre has not yet responded

  
Lomu
Member (Idle past 270 days)
Posts: 11
From: Melbourne, Australia
Joined: 12-11-2004


Message 155 of 1042 (656917)
03-23-2012 5:13 AM


So...
A skeleton walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Can I help you sir?"
The skeleton replies, "gimme a beer and a mop."
  
subbie
Member
Posts: 3508
Joined: 02-26-2006


(1)
Message 156 of 1042 (656929)
03-23-2012 9:53 AM
Reply to: Message 154 by onifre
03-23-2012 2:01 AM


Re: Twitter was invented 30 years too late....
Still a nice deposit for the spank bank.

Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson

We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat

It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate

Howling about evidence is a conversation stopper, and it never stops to think if the claim could possibly be true -- foreveryoung


This message is a reply to:
 Message 154 by onifre, posted 03-23-2012 2:01 AM onifre has not yet responded

RAZD
Member
Posts: 19663
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.9


(3)
Message 157 of 1042 (656933)
03-23-2012 11:02 AM


creaolution observed?
http://www.uclick.com/client/spi/nq/2012/03/23/index.html

Enjoy


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

rueh
Member (Idle past 1609 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


(4)
Message 158 of 1042 (656936)
03-23-2012 11:33 AM


I need a new job
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and
purchase a rectal thermometer made byJohnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'


'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff

Jon
Inactive Member


(1)
Message 159 of 1042 (656971)
03-23-2012 6:15 PM


Doctor's Orders
I went to see the doctor the other day.

He told me I needed to stop masturbating.

So I asked him why.

"'Cause I need to examine you, now," he said.


Love your enemies!

Replies to this message:
 Message 160 by Phat, posted 03-24-2012 10:15 AM Jon has responded

Phat
Member
Posts: 11403
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.2


Message 160 of 1042 (656984)
03-24-2012 10:15 AM
Reply to: Message 159 by Jon
03-23-2012 6:15 PM


Re: Doctor's Orders
i can never laugh at sex jokes...wonder why?

Edited by Phat, : No reason given.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 159 by Jon, posted 03-23-2012 6:15 PM Jon has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 161 by Jon, posted 03-24-2012 10:28 AM Phat has not yet responded
 Message 162 by frako, posted 03-24-2012 11:31 AM Phat has not yet responded

Jon
Inactive Member


Message 161 of 1042 (656985)
03-24-2012 10:28 AM
Reply to: Message 160 by Phat
03-24-2012 10:15 AM


Re: Doctor's Orders
That's not a sex joke. In fact, it is completely the opposite. It is a joke about not having sex.

Love your enemies!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 160 by Phat, posted 03-24-2012 10:15 AM Phat has not yet responded

frako
Member
Posts: 2795
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 3.2


(1)
Message 162 of 1042 (656988)
03-24-2012 11:31 AM
Reply to: Message 160 by Phat
03-24-2012 10:15 AM


Re: Doctor's Orders
Cause you would be the first pick if we choose to sacrifice someone to a volcano god??

Edited by frako, : No reason given.


Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

Click if you dare!


This message is a reply to:
 Message 160 by Phat, posted 03-24-2012 10:15 AM Phat has not yet responded

  
hooah212002
Member
Posts: 3183
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 163 of 1042 (657127)
03-26-2012 7:19 AM


If Atheists Acted Religious

"Science is interesting, and if you don't agree you can fuck off." -Dawkins

  
rueh
Member (Idle past 1609 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


(3)
Message 164 of 1042 (657444)
03-28-2012 3:43 PM


Word play
In order to broaden everyones vocabulary and because a few of these are very relevant to some folks here, I present to you...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. (I'm going to start using this one all the time)

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. (reminds me of some folks around here)

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (very reminiscent of discussions here at EVC)

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

14. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. (this one is just a rip off of George Carlin, still funny though)

15. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Edited by rueh, : No reason given.

Edited by rueh, : No reason given.


'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff

Replies to this message:
 Message 165 by Panda, posted 03-28-2012 6:07 PM rueh has not yet responded
 Message 166 by Heathen, posted 03-29-2012 5:17 AM rueh has not yet responded
 Message 167 by RAZD, posted 03-29-2012 3:01 PM rueh has not yet responded
 Message 171 by New Cat's Eye, posted 03-29-2012 5:37 PM rueh has not yet responded
 Message 176 by Granny Magda, posted 03-31-2012 9:39 AM rueh has not yet responded

Panda
Member (Idle past 1661 days)
Posts: 2688
From: UK
Joined: 10-04-2010


(2)
Message 165 of 1042 (657471)
03-28-2012 6:07 PM
Reply to: Message 164 by rueh
03-28-2012 3:43 PM


Re: Word play
Volumptuous (adj.): Too curvy to be sexy.

My girlfriend's mother.


Tradition and heritage are all dead people's baggage. Stop carrying it!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 164 by rueh, posted 03-28-2012 3:43 PM rueh has not yet responded

RewPrev1
...
910
11
1213
...
70NextFF
Newer Topic | Older Topic
Jump to:


Copyright 2001-2015 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved

™ Version 4.0 Beta
Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2018