In the beginning there was a single Christian mythology, and God looked upon it and saw it was good. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
Then man looked about him and saw that some men believed differently, and so he created different Christian sects with different interpretations of Christian mythology. And God looked upon it and was concerned. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
Then evangelical and other conservative Christians looked upon science and saw that it contradicted their Christian mythology, and so they invented Creation Science, and God looked upon it and was sad. And the evening and the morning were the third day.
Then these Christians saw that it wasn't enough to just invent Creation Science, and so they began making up stories about science itself and the people within science, and God looked upon it and was perplexed. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
So God gave these Christians the right to keep and bear arms, but they took to their guns with great enthusiasm, using them often and with great success, and God looked upon it and was dumbfounded. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
Then these Christians saw that they had become the most powerful nation in the world and decided to impose their will on the rest of the world, and God looked upon it and knew not what to think. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
On the seventh day God left.
--Percy