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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
subbie
Member (Idle past 1255 days)
Posts: 3509
Joined: 02-26-2006


(2)
Message 151 of 1442 (726657)
05-10-2014 7:32 PM


I drove past a farm today where the farmer had 36 sheep get loose. He asked me to round them up. I said, "40."

Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson
We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat
It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate
Howling about evidence is a conversation stopper, and it never stops to think if the claim could possibly be true -- foreveryoung

  
RAZD
Member (Idle past 1405 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


(1)
Message 152 of 1442 (726768)
05-12-2014 10:35 AM


last word

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

  
Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3978
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


Message 153 of 1442 (726800)
05-12-2014 5:08 PM


And the answer is...BENGHAZI!!!
P.S. And yes, people are paying their premiums. Benghazi!

"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."

  
Theodoric
Member
Posts: 9076
From: Northwest, WI, USA
Joined: 08-15-2005
Member Rating: 3.7


(1)
Message 154 of 1442 (726834)
05-13-2014 11:04 AM


My personal favorite: "This is gonna sting a little."
From Message 24
Reminds me of this classic Dennis Wolfberg skit
A funny man who died much too young.

Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts
"God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness.

  
xongsmith
Member
Posts: 2578
From: massachusetts US
Joined: 01-01-2009
Member Rating: 6.8


(1)
Message 155 of 1442 (726904)
05-13-2014 8:18 PM


One the best middle fingers:
"This is for all of you idiots that can't find us!!! HAHAHAHAHA Suckers!"

- xongsmith, 5.7d

Replies to this message:
 Message 156 by Omnivorous, posted 05-13-2014 9:06 PM xongsmith has not replied

  
Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3978
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


Message 156 of 1442 (726923)
05-13-2014 9:06 PM
Reply to: Message 155 by xongsmith
05-13-2014 8:18 PM


That pic was taken before my hairline receded.

"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."

This message is a reply to:
 Message 155 by xongsmith, posted 05-13-2014 8:18 PM xongsmith has not replied

  
Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3978
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


(1)
Message 157 of 1442 (726928)
05-13-2014 9:23 PM


xongsmith writes:
"Insane? Whaddya mean? None of you idiots here are any more nuts than the average asshole walking out on the street!" - paraphrasing Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"
Message 83
My younger brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. He had his first episode at 17; he's now 57 and has lived independently for many years, thank you very much.
The first time he signed himself into a locked psychiatric ward, he called that night from a pay phone in the common area.
"These people are fucking crazy! You gotta get me outta here!"
We did. Maybe we're a sick family, but we laughed all the way home.
----------------------------------------
NB: Top 'o the hat to Theodoric for the idea to use MID links to make humorous connections w/o cluttering a thread.

"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."

Replies to this message:
 Message 165 by Coragyps, posted 05-21-2014 1:19 PM Omnivorous has seen this message but not replied

  
ringo
Member (Idle past 412 days)
Posts: 20940
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005


(3)
Message 158 of 1442 (727015)
05-14-2014 4:22 PM


Faith talking about PRACTICING siners reminded me of a couple of old jokes:
How do I get to Carnegie Hall?
Practice!
and
Sex isn't dirty.
It is if you do it right.

  
Heathen
Member (Idle past 1284 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(1)
Message 159 of 1442 (727068)
05-15-2014 10:17 AM


A. Knock Knock...
B. Who's there?
A. The Interrupting Cow.
B. The Interrupt--
A. MOOOOOOOOO!

  
1.61803
Member (Idle past 1504 days)
Posts: 2928
From: Lone Star State USA
Joined: 02-19-2004


(3)
Message 160 of 1442 (727076)
05-15-2014 11:11 AM



"You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs

  
Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 285 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(4)
Message 161 of 1442 (727144)
05-15-2014 4:20 PM


Everything Is Better With Kittens

  
Tangle
Member
Posts: 9489
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 4.9


(5)
Message 162 of 1442 (727147)
05-15-2014 5:12 PM


Wife to software developer husband:
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."

Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android
"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.

  
frako
Member (Idle past 306 days)
Posts: 2932
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010


(2)
Message 163 of 1442 (727713)
05-20-2014 10:31 AM


LOL

Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand
What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.

Replies to this message:
 Message 164 by Diomedes, posted 05-21-2014 12:30 PM frako has not replied
 Message 167 by Modulous, posted 05-21-2014 3:13 PM frako has not replied

  
Diomedes
Member
Posts: 995
From: Central Florida, USA
Joined: 09-13-2013


Message 164 of 1442 (727883)
05-21-2014 12:30 PM
Reply to: Message 163 by frako
05-20-2014 10:31 AM


Craziest Congresspeople
Well, we are a representative democracy. Unfortunately, nitwits get the same voting rights as everyone else.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 163 by frako, posted 05-20-2014 10:31 AM frako has not replied

  
Coragyps
Member (Idle past 735 days)
Posts: 5553
From: Snyder, Texas, USA
Joined: 11-12-2002


(3)
Message 165 of 1442 (727889)
05-21-2014 1:19 PM
Reply to: Message 157 by Omnivorous
05-13-2014 9:23 PM


Heh....
My son is bipolar. He went off the deep end a couple of years ago and spent a month in a similar psychiatric ward full of people that were also, like Omni's brother's companions, fucking crazy.
He called me up at work one morning with the news that he was being released. I drove over there, got him all signed out, and we walked to the car and got in. When I turned the key, Humble Pie's "Thirty Days in the Hole" was just starting. We both fell out the doors laughing.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 157 by Omnivorous, posted 05-13-2014 9:23 PM Omnivorous has seen this message but not replied

  
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