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Author | Topic: Hoarding: When is it too much? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Phat Member Posts: 18298 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.1 |
A recent article in Psychology Today online, published by Gillian Ragsdale Ph.DHoarding and Empathy talks about emotional attachments to the things we humans collect.
The question is raised about the healthy and useful limits of such behavior, and where the line is drawn between too little, enough, and too much. quote: My Mom is now almost 92, and my sister and i have been cleaning up Moms excess stuff. It is a tedious emotional process. Not only must we find room for some of it, we must find room in our own homes for it which means we need to shed our own excess stuff. Just deciding who gets what, what gets thrown away or given to another is very emotional. Anxiety is involved, as it is hard to name the emotions connected with all of this nonsense. Some will be sold, of course---thats easier. Some given away. The rest gets divided with the family...eventually. Mom has fortunately made her wish lists and has very little emotional stake in all of this, thankfully for her health's sake. Do any of you find that not only is one mans junk another mans treasure, but that you have emotional connections to your own piles of junk?God created war so that Americans would learn geography. —Mark Twain "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain
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Jon Inactive Member
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Anxiety is involved, as it is hard to name the emotions connected with all of this nonsense. I find that my own anxiety is rarely triggered by an inability to assign clinical labels to the things I am feeling; but that's just me.
Do any of you find that not only is one mans junk another mans treasure, but that you have emotional connections to your own piles of junk? Hoarding is something with which I have always struggled. My parents have four sheds and two stalls of a garage plus the work-shop area completely piled with 'stuff'; they completed another shed about two years ago that is slowly filling up along with its covered deck. This is all in addition to the yard, littered with projects awaiting completion. It's in my blood and it takes constant vigilance to overcome the temptations to acquire and keep things I don't need and won't ever look at again. After reading Packard's Waste Makers I have been wondering whether hoarding is a uniquely American disease related to our nation's materialism or if other, less materialistic, cultures also suffer this 'affliction'.
quote: Love your enemies!
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Tangle Member Posts: 9504 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.7
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Don't suffer myself, though my garage needs a major clearout.
Do you guys have charity shops? - High Street shops staffed by volunteers with stock donated by people - our kids got to call them 'don't want it shops' - it's a good way of disposing of things 'cos the profit goes to good causes. Maybe it helps if you know that it's helping others?Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif. Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android "Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved." - Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.
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Jon Inactive Member |
We have Goodwill, and many larger towns have their own such operations.
In my home town, two such shops existed: one donated the money to battered women's charities and the other used it to fund local summer school programs. We tend to call them thrift stores, regardless of where the profits go. In fact, there's a 'song' about such stores:
Love your enemies!
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Phat Member Posts: 18298 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.1 |
I briefly perused an online book(sample pagesat least) Handbook of Culture and Consumer Behavior.
The research done by consumerism advocates on our cultural habits here in the USA as well as the cultural habits and predictable tendencies of other cultures is used by big business both here and abroad. Seems Wall Street is entirely happy for every household to have at least one shed of stuff...worthless or not it was purchased by someone at some point. Edited by Phat, : clarificationGod created war so that Americans would learn geography. —Mark Twain "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain
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Phat Member Posts: 18298 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.1 |
Tangle writes: One would think that it would be easy to give stuff away that not only helps others but that reduces your clutter. Maybe it helps if you know that it's helping others? Mind you, its really easy for me to get rid of my sisters stuff---but she wont let me touch it. Mom has given it all up mentally though she hoarded for many years...its also easy for me to dispose of her stuff. The problem --for me at least--arises when i must dispose of my own junk. God created war so that Americans would learn geography. —Mark Twain "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain
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ringo Member (Idle past 432 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
Phat writes:
When my dad died, he had stuff in his house that I'm sure came over from the old country ninety years before. We had an estate sale and you definitely could not predict what people would buy. I sold stuff that was on its way to the garbage bin. But there was stuff that I considered valuable that we literally couldn't give away. ... one mans junk another mans treasure.... I still have some of his stuff in my basement. I do feel guilty about throwing it away.
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Phat Member Posts: 18298 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.1 |
Im curious as to the psychology behind all of this:
I would think that traveling with only the pure necessities---a warm pair of clothes, another two pair, at most two pairs of shoes and a blanket and a tarp would be the easiest. Lugging around extra just seems harder.Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. —RC Sproul "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain " ~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith Paul was probably SO soaked in prayer nobody else has ever equaled him.~Faith
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4 |
i'll just be quiet here....
not much different today either. the rest of the house and shed looks about the same. BUT! the garage is GONE! Yay!- xongsmith, 5.7d
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1425 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
i'll just be quiet here.... We tried bro, we tried ... and it won't change until you finalize that divorce and buy her out of the house. Note to others: this is just one room. All rooms are like this including basement. Sooner is better. Enjoyby our ability to understand Rebel☮American☆Zen☯Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1425 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
Hoarding: When is it too much? When you have more than you need for survival?When you have more than you will use in the next year? When it adversely affects others? Is not the hoarding of money (in billions of dollars) not the same as hoarding more toilet paper than you will use in your lifetime?
Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail. -- Henry David Thoreau, on simplicity Enjoyby our ability to understand Rebel☮American☆Zen☯Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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ringo Member (Idle past 432 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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Phat writes:
Our society teaches us to have what we need instead of being able to get what we need. I'm coming to the realization that as long as I can work it doesn't matter if I lose my house and all of the stuff in it - I'll still be able to get what I need. Im curious as to the psychology behind all of this I think homeless people are much like my parents' generation, who grew up during the Depression. They didn't have much so they were very reluctant to let go of anything once they had it. Maybe instead of just giving warm clothing to the homeless we (e.g. the Salvation Army) should lend it to them. Have them return the winter coats in the spring and give them a nominal payment as incentive. Then clean them and do the same thing next winter.
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1425 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
Maybe instead of just giving warm clothing to the homeless we (e.g. the Salvation Army) should lend it to them. Have them return the winter coats in the spring and give them a nominal payment as incentive. Then clean them and do the same thing next winter. Or house them in tiny homes so they have a place to leave that stuff during the day and a place to sleep at night, a place to wash up, do laundry, eat, etc, to say nothing of having an address for applying for work etc. Gives them some dignity Enjoyby our ability to understand Rebel☮American☆Zen☯Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1425 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined:
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George Carlin
Enjoyby our ability to understand Rebel☮American☆Zen☯Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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ringo Member (Idle past 432 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
RAZD writes:
I think tiny homes are a great idea, and not just for homeless people. Unfortunately, our city council in its infinite wisdom won't allow houses less than 1000 square feet to be built.
Or house them in tiny homes....
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