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Author Topic:   Addiction By Definition
ringo
Member (Idle past 411 days)
Posts: 20940
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005


Message 76 of 331 (792710)
10-13-2016 11:47 AM
Reply to: Message 73 by Phat
10-12-2016 2:51 PM


Re: Day 85 and glad to be alive
Phat writes:
No. I am anxious when addicted. I am fearful when sober.
Perhaps knowing that it is a concrete emotion I am facing helps me to stay sober.
I'm glad you can tell the difference.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 73 by Phat, posted 10-12-2016 2:51 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
RAZD
Member (Idle past 1404 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 77 of 331 (792902)
10-14-2016 10:52 PM
Reply to: Message 75 by Phat
10-13-2016 9:29 AM


Re: Day 88 and feeling great!
... Exercise is very important to me, as I have Type II Diabetes and my feet are growing numb and insensitive. ...
Know something like how that feels -- I had neuropathy in my feet following chemo (side effect), and it made my feet nerves fire indiscriminately, and I could not distinguish false signals from real ones, and this created balance problems. Gone now, thankfully.
On a positive note, I am exercising more, getting out more and reuniting with old friends as well as making new ones, and even posting at EvC more...if that counts!
Of course it counts, but be careful ... healthy living can be addictive [/kidding]

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 75 by Phat, posted 10-13-2016 9:29 AM Phat has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(2)
Message 78 of 331 (793315)
10-25-2016 2:53 PM


Day 100 and beginning to feel fear
Today is the hundredth day of sobriety and I am starting to feel fear ratyher than simply anxiety. The fear is about events, circumstances, and people in my past. Some of these problems are mean't for today....like the fear of losing my legs to diabetes or the fear that I wont get my job back and that I will be broke and sick in my older years.
Of course, God has blessed me and I have the intelligence and ability to fight these circumstances....but it is almost like ringo is prophetic---in another thread he says I have an obsession about having things done for me...and perhaps my fear is rooted way back in childhood about having to grow up without a father.(he died when I was 17) and I was always provided for and taken care of.
Im not gonna get too psychoanalytical, but I will report that as of today I am experiencing some unfamiliar emotions.

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. —RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.~Proverbs 28:26

Replies to this message:
 Message 79 by RAZD, posted 10-25-2016 9:06 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied
 Message 80 by Coyote, posted 10-25-2016 9:27 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied
 Message 81 by Stile, posted 10-26-2016 8:51 AM Phat has seen this message but not replied
 Message 82 by Theodoric, posted 10-26-2016 2:01 PM Phat has replied

  
RAZD
Member (Idle past 1404 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 79 of 331 (793330)
10-25-2016 9:06 PM
Reply to: Message 78 by Phat
10-25-2016 2:53 PM


Re: Day 100 and beginning to feel fear
The unfamiliar feelings are a sign of progress, getting out of the old rut comfort place and stepping out on your own.
keep it up.
<3

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 78 by Phat, posted 10-25-2016 2:53 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Coyote
Member (Idle past 2105 days)
Posts: 6117
Joined: 01-12-2008


(1)
Message 80 of 331 (793331)
10-25-2016 9:27 PM
Reply to: Message 78 by Phat
10-25-2016 2:53 PM


Re: Day 100 and beginning to feel fear
m not gonna get too psychoanalytical, but I will report that as of today I am experiencing some unfamiliar emotions.
That may be good, as it may have been the familiar ones that were the problem?

Religious belief does not constitute scientific evidence, nor does it convey scientific knowledge.
Belief gets in the way of learning--Robert A. Heinlein
In the name of diversity, college student demands to be kept in ignorance of the culture that made diversity a value--StultisTheFool
It's not what we don't know that hurts, it's what we know that ain't so--Will Rogers
If I am entitled to something, someone else is obliged to pay--Jerry Pournelle
If a religion's teachings are true, then it should have nothing to fear from science...--dwise1
"Multiculturalism" demands that the US be tolerant of everything except its own past, culture, traditions, and identity.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 78 by Phat, posted 10-25-2016 2:53 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Stile
Member
Posts: 4295
From: Ontario, Canada
Joined: 12-02-2004


(2)
Message 81 of 331 (793344)
10-26-2016 8:51 AM
Reply to: Message 78 by Phat
10-25-2016 2:53 PM


Re: Day 100 and beginning to feel fear
You can do it, Phat!
Who knew that the new-you (one no longer in the habit of gambling and drinking) could come with some new-emotions?
Hang in there, and keep fighting the good fight.
100 days, whoo!!!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 78 by Phat, posted 10-25-2016 2:53 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Theodoric
Member
Posts: 9076
From: Northwest, WI, USA
Joined: 08-15-2005
Member Rating: 3.7


(2)
Message 82 of 331 (793359)
10-26-2016 2:01 PM
Reply to: Message 78 by Phat
10-25-2016 2:53 PM


Re: Day 100 and beginning to feel fear
I am very proud of you. I know a few people with addictions and can say very few get as far as you have. Keep it up. Do whatever you need to do to be successful in moving forward. You have done the hardest part.
Remember your friends(yes friends) here at EVC support you and are rooting for you and ready to do what needs to be done to continue to support you.

Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts
"God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 78 by Phat, posted 10-25-2016 2:53 PM Phat has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 83 by Phat, posted 10-26-2016 5:42 PM Theodoric has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(2)
Message 83 of 331 (793372)
10-26-2016 5:42 PM
Reply to: Message 82 by Theodoric
10-26-2016 2:01 PM


Re: Day 100 and beginning to feel fear
Thank you, Theodoric. That means a lot. According to Dr.Carnes, the emotions will intensify after roughly 130 days for several months. I plan on reporting my progress every 20 days or so...and recording what I feel. I have a counselor, the support of my church, and am attending a step group.
Now that the initial addiction is under control, my secondary addiction of emotional co dependence is looming large. I have always had friends younger than myself...many of whom are now like younger brothers--but at the time I met them I identified with them so much I nearly lived vicariously through them.
As a future leader---I want to become a chaplain rather than just a volunteer--I need to be emotionally healthy.
My 3rd addiction is overeating or hi sugar foods---which I cannot handle, being diabetic. What most people do not fully understand is that once I choose to become sober from all of my habits, the root cause of the addictions manifests as a deep pained anxiety which I have yet to identify.
We all have our challenges in life, though---and my hope and prayer is that by my journaling this stuff, perhaps others can someday follow the sober path.

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. —RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.~Proverbs 28:26

This message is a reply to:
 Message 82 by Theodoric, posted 10-26-2016 2:01 PM Theodoric has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 84 by Stile, posted 10-27-2016 8:38 AM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Stile
Member
Posts: 4295
From: Ontario, Canada
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 84 of 331 (793383)
10-27-2016 8:38 AM
Reply to: Message 83 by Phat
10-26-2016 5:42 PM


Re: Day 100 and beginning to feel fear
Phat writes:
my hope and prayer is that by my journaling this stuff, perhaps others can someday follow the sober path.
Doing it for science!
Ha ha

This message is a reply to:
 Message 83 by Phat, posted 10-26-2016 5:42 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(1)
Message 85 of 331 (793474)
10-30-2016 7:53 AM
Reply to: Message 57 by Phat
01-07-2016 2:09 AM


Day 105 as life marches on!
Phat,in January writes:
First and foremost, however, is a willingness to let go and use logic and reason. Experts say that the healing really starts after 150 days sobriety. i have never made it past 72 days in my life.
Today is Day 105! I am facing pain and anxiety off and on, and hypothesize that I always have felt these things yet previously self medicated through addictions which i have now stopped.
God plays a big role in my recovery, but He does not do it for me...He gives me the mindfulness to remain sober.
I dont have anything new to report, but I sense that the feelings will intensify in the next ...oh lets call it 90 more days. Pray that I stay sober. I believe that God wills that I make it, but He wont stop me should I trick myself into a relapse.

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. —RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.~Proverbs 28:26

This message is a reply to:
 Message 57 by Phat, posted 01-07-2016 2:09 AM Phat has seen this message but not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 86 by RAZD, posted 10-30-2016 7:57 AM Phat has replied
 Message 87 by NoNukes, posted 10-31-2016 1:28 PM Phat has replied

  
RAZD
Member (Idle past 1404 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 86 of 331 (793476)
10-30-2016 7:57 AM
Reply to: Message 85 by Phat
10-30-2016 7:53 AM


Re: Day 105 as life marches on!
I dont have anything new to report, ...
Every day is a new thing. Keep up the good work.

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 85 by Phat, posted 10-30-2016 7:53 AM Phat has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 88 by Phat, posted 11-01-2016 10:19 AM RAZD has replied

  
NoNukes
Inactive Member


(2)
Message 87 of 331 (793506)
10-31-2016 1:28 PM
Reply to: Message 85 by Phat
10-30-2016 7:53 AM


Re: Day 105 as life marches on!
Keep on plugging Phat. I am glad to hear about your success.

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also in prison. Thoreau: Civil Disobedience (1846)
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Martin Luther King
I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. Thomas Jefferson
Seems to me if its clear that certain things that require ancient dates couldn't possibly be true, we are on our way to throwing out all those ancient dates on the basis of the actual evidence. -- Faith

This message is a reply to:
 Message 85 by Phat, posted 10-30-2016 7:53 AM Phat has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 90 by Phat, posted 11-02-2016 7:23 PM NoNukes has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(1)
Message 88 of 331 (793535)
11-01-2016 10:19 AM
Reply to: Message 86 by RAZD
10-30-2016 7:57 AM


Day 106
I applied the 4 step method to my anxiety and also prayed and today my mind feels like im a new person!
quote:
Step 1: Relabel. Identify the deceptive brain messages (i.e., the unhelpful thoughts, urges, desires and impulses) and the uncomfortable sensations; call them what they really are.
Step 2: Reframe. Change your perception of the importance of the deceptive brain messages; say why these thoughts, urges, and impulses keep bother you (it's not ME, it's just the BRAIN!).
Step 3: Refocus. Direct your attention toward an activity or mental process that is wholesome and productive - even while the false and deceptive urges, thoughts, impulses, and sensations are still present and bothering you.
Step 4: Revalue. Clearly see the thoughts, urges, and impulses for what they are: sensations caused by deceptive brain messages that are not true and that have little to no value.
I knew about Schwartz a year ago, but am now applying his 4 step method to deal with the feelings I am experiencing.

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. —RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.~Proverbs 28:26

This message is a reply to:
 Message 86 by RAZD, posted 10-30-2016 7:57 AM RAZD has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 89 by RAZD, posted 11-01-2016 11:33 AM Phat has not replied

  
RAZD
Member (Idle past 1404 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


(2)
Message 89 of 331 (793545)
11-01-2016 11:33 AM
Reply to: Message 88 by Phat
11-01-2016 10:19 AM


Re: Day 106
You GO dude!

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 88 by Phat, posted 11-01-2016 10:19 AM Phat has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(3)
Message 90 of 331 (793631)
11-02-2016 7:23 PM
Reply to: Message 87 by NoNukes
10-31-2016 1:28 PM


Day 107 and feeling feisty
It seems that I am in a feisty argumentative mood as day 107 is lived. I feel like defending and defining or redefining my faith as I believe it.
One Pastor challenged me---do I trust God or science?
Personally I don't see the two as mutually exclusive.
I definitely believe that trusting someone greater than I is crucial to success.
Jeffrey Schwartz, in explaining his 4 step method, maintains that the way to overcome the stuck brain is to observe ones irrational feelings from a 3rd person perspective. He calls such a mindset the "impartial spectator".
Schwartz writes:
So, that term, impartial spectator he used to mean that we can actually look from the outside into ourselves, taking the perspective of an impartial person. You can actually utilize a perspective of attention that is like standing outside yourself, like being another rational, fair-minded person who's viewing you and what you are doing and thinking, and has access to your inner experience.
It is definitely one way to make it through the irrational feelings phase of healing.

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. —RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." —Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.~Proverbs 28:26

This message is a reply to:
 Message 87 by NoNukes, posted 10-31-2016 1:28 PM NoNukes has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 91 by ringo, posted 11-03-2016 11:59 AM Phat has replied

  
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