And yet, I find myself unhappy because I am battling addiction.
Or perhaps you are battling an addiction because you were unhappy?
I am also a fairly intelligent person who has learned that he may be experiencing being Bipolar, and that it is not impossible that I could need medication. If my experience with finding God was just my first manic attack, then that is exciting too - that means that I've been successful all these years while I've been depressed, so if I can get well then I should only do better, and I have a plan.
I don't know you all that well, but you could also be suffering with psychosis or quasi-psychotic states. That can come from bipolarity, or all on its own. I'm not bipolar but I've had quarter of a century of psychosis related issues to deal with. Most people dismiss this possibility on the grounds they haven't completely broken with reality, as they think of people with obvious schizophrenia.
Ideas or delusions of reference, for example, are where you find special significance in things other people consider quite mundane. This might be a news story, a TV show or books or certain religious creeds.
I've seen my medical doctor and I am physically well, so I am seeking some counseling on my mental and emotional health. I haven't been to my first appointment yet (its soon), but there's a lot of work in preparing and I've realized that this place is a creative output for me that I enjoy and that it is also a valuable resource for discussion.
It's good to seek help, and it's good to surrender yourself to that help from time to time. Careful you don't become dependent on that instead, though! Victory comes from independence, in my view, when all the crutches have been cast aside. Of course, crutches are important, as are walking canes - so don't take this as a plea to rush.
I'm not yet convinced that drugs is the answer to my problem
In my experience, as limited as that may be, drugs at best can give you some 'room to think'. They aren't themselves a solution unless you are permanently crippled.
For the purposes of this thread, I'd like to hear from other people who believe that they have found God, and learn more about what their experiences have been like for them.
I have found many gods. I've felt them, I've been taken to divine places by them and I've had conversations with some of them.
My experience in meeting so many gods helped me realize that certain tactics were required to separate the wishful thinking from the real.
I'm also using this place for therapy, because I've realize how much I like to write and I think this is good for me
Me too!
Friends in RL are telling me that I'll figure it out. Anybody here want to help me?
Your friends are probably right. I guess by certain modern definitions I might qualify as one and I agree with those RL ones. It's your personal psychology, what works for them or me might not work for you.
How do you pray? How do you pray? I feel like it might just literally be "to relate to God".
I've asked, I've begged, I've demanded, I've sobbed and I've implored. Among many other things. It's a good way to focus and discover what you think you need, what you are actually feeling and so on.
For the non-theists: Is there such a thing as "secular prayer"? I suppose that would be literally "to relate to the void".
I've settled on meditative practices as my preferred method. Sometimes I just watch my thoughts. Other times I go to the countryside at night time and stare up into the night sky and consider the fact that I'm just as much looking down as I am up, that I'm travelling around a gigantic fusion reaction on a spinning planet along with billions of other confused and pained people suffering their existential crises and insecurities, and feeling at one with them all in some sense. A communal emotional rollercoaster so to speak; and I hope that together, despite our differences, we might muddle our way through to find some pockets of happiness.
I typically lose all sense of individuality in these moments and feel a great peace and, perhaps paradoxically - clarity. It is at these times I am often inspired or have sudden ground breaking epiphanies that change the way I look at things and I'm filled with a resolve to make changes in the path I am taking.
Usually once I am back with my feet on the ground I don't end up making the big changes, but I do make little ones. Enough of them can add up to something, I hope.
Would you think there would be any value in that sort of thing?
The unexamined life is not worth living. There is immense value. The worst kinds of prayer or meditation are the purely self-serving ones in my view. "Can someone/the cosmos just help me get what I want!" Saying what you want or need can help clarify your emotions to yourself just as when you talk to your partners, friends, family members or psychiatrists. The difference is that you will always edit your thoughts for public consumption. When you are praying or meditating I recommend practising honesty...you might be surprised at how difficult that can actually be.
And if you find imagining or believing there is someone listening who knows when you are lying, that's cool by me. I have my own voices who call me out on my nonsense, I just don't deify them. If it helps you to do so, go right on ahead without shame. Just don't take those words as being prescriptive on other people's lives and you are golden.
What about for a person who has an addiction problem?
There are so many bullshit excuses you tell yourself when you are addicted to something, I recommend doing something of this sort. Surrender to your community, your species, your family or your own wisdom. Don't take any of your own nonsense and tackle the real reasons you do what you do, without blaming yourself or telling yourself you are worthless and stupid and pathetic...those are just different kinds of lies!
Good luck and god bless!
Edited by Modulous, : No reason given.