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Author Topic:   Addiction By Definition
RAZD
Member
Posts: 19326
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.2


Message 196 of 213 (812058)
06-14-2017 2:34 PM
Reply to: Message 195 by New Cat's Eye
06-14-2017 1:47 PM


Re: Day 328. Staring In The Mirror
My doctor said: "To be honest, all that exercise is probably helping your anxiety more than the medication I've given you... but don't stop taking it."

Another alternative is cannabis oil (without thc)


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


• • • Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) • • •

This message is a reply to:
 Message 195 by New Cat's Eye, posted 06-14-2017 1:47 PM New Cat's Eye has responded

Replies to this message:
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New Cat's Eye
Member
Posts: 11858
From: near St. Louis
Joined: 01-27-2005
Member Rating: 1.5


(2)
Message 197 of 213 (812076)
06-14-2017 3:28 PM
Reply to: Message 196 by RAZD
06-14-2017 2:34 PM


Re: Day 328. Staring In The Mirror
cannabis oil (without thc)

Well that's no fun!


This message is a reply to:
 Message 196 by RAZD, posted 06-14-2017 2:34 PM RAZD has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
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Phat
Member
Posts: 10253
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 198 of 213 (812383)
06-16-2017 9:50 AM
Reply to: Message 197 by New Cat's Eye
06-14-2017 3:28 PM


Day 334 Reflections On Addictions Past
Speaking of addictions, there was a time in my life that I was addicted to marijuana.
I have no regrets as to the addictions and habits of my past, but now that pot is legal in my state, I find that many people are drawn towards this high that probably never were enticed before.

Im not sure if pot addiction changes the brain dramatically or not, but I recall that it was impossible for me to quit for the longest time.

Of course, I may have subconsciously not wanted to quit...which is, in essence, step one.


Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. –RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
"as long as chance rules, God is an anachronism."~Arthur Koestler

This message is a reply to:
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Phat
Member
Posts: 10253
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


(8)
Message 199 of 213 (813724)
06-30-2017 8:15 AM
Reply to: Message 11 by ringo
12-13-2014 10:41 AM


The Science and Theory of Addiction (Day 348)
ringo writes:

Your definition does call addiction a "disease". If it doesn't cause any dis-ease - i.e. ill effects such as pain or death, then who cares if somebody chooses to call it a "bad" habit?

Again...an addiction is an addiction because we have lost control of whether or not we indulge in it...be it good or bad.

Today is Day 348 of my sobriety from compulsive gambling. Allow me to share a story from just last week. I was driving home from the doctor when a clear urge to buy a $50.00 scratch ticket arose in my mind. Rather than ignoring the feeling, as I have learned to do in the past year, I contemplated it. Before long I justified it because I reasoned that since I was fixated on it it surely must be a sign from God...or a confirmation of my desire. (First mistake)

I actually allowed myself to pull in to the convenience store and retrace the addictive steps i used to always do. I literally---at that moment---wanted to buy that ticket and I was furthermore convinced that it was no ordinary impulse. (Second Mistake)

Upon approaching the counter, I was informed that $50.00 tickets were sold out. Suddenly I was faced with a decision to buy other denominations. I refused, turned, and walked out of the store....something I would never have been able to do 348 days ago.

In conclusion, I realize that I need to always be diligent and not allow my mind and excuses to sabotage my success. I would never have guessed that an urge would arise in me this late in the game.....nor that I would actually lie to myself in order to justify the desire.

One Day At A Time, friends. I am thankful today to remain sober.


Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. –RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
"as long as chance rules, God is an anachronism."~Arthur Koestler

This message is a reply to:
 Message 11 by ringo, posted 12-13-2014 10:41 AM ringo has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 200 by New Cat's Eye, posted 07-03-2017 12:51 PM Phat has not yet responded

  
New Cat's Eye
Member
Posts: 11858
From: near St. Louis
Joined: 01-27-2005
Member Rating: 1.5


(1)
Message 200 of 213 (814024)
07-03-2017 12:51 PM
Reply to: Message 199 by Phat
06-30-2017 8:15 AM


Re: The Science and Theory of Addiction (Day 348)
Upon approaching the counter, I was informed that $50.00 tickets were sold out. Suddenly I was faced with a decision to buy other denominations. I refused, turned, and walked out of the store....something I would never have been able to do 348 days ago.

Successful mindfulness! Congratulations!

Keep up the good fight.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 199 by Phat, posted 06-30-2017 8:15 AM Phat has not yet responded

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 10253
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 201 of 213 (814658)
07-11-2017 2:49 PM


Slogging Towards A Year (Day 359)
I'm almost at the one year mark. In one respect, I feel proud that I overcame a lifelong addictive habit. In another respect, I feel disappointed. All of the science told me that I would change and grow. It seems, however, that I have become more aware only of how much more needs to be done. I never signed up for this gig! Where is the damn blessing?

*sighs*

Maybe I'll just give it more time! I have another goal this second year. When I get my courage up to suffer some more, I'll fix my diet for good...eliminating high blood sugars. One would think it easy to eat right...but for me, this often proves elusive. Stay tuned...


Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. –RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
"as long as chance rules, God is an anachronism."~Arthur Koestler

Replies to this message:
 Message 202 by RAZD, posted 07-13-2017 6:23 AM Phat has not yet responded
 Message 203 by jar, posted 07-13-2017 6:41 AM Phat has acknowledged this reply
 Message 204 by New Cat's Eye, posted 07-14-2017 10:51 AM Phat has responded

  
RAZD
Member
Posts: 19326
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.2


(1)
Message 202 of 213 (814826)
07-13-2017 6:23 AM
Reply to: Message 201 by Phat
07-11-2017 2:49 PM


Re: Slogging Towards A Year (Day 359)
Courage my friend.

I'm almost at the one year mark. In one respect, I feel proud that I overcame a lifelong addictive habit. In another respect, I feel disappointed. All of the science told me that I would change and grow. ...

Seems I read somewhere that it takes 3 years ... and even then you will have flash-back urges occasionally. I remember getting an urge to smoke 30 years after quitting ... and I was not a heavy smoker.

Maybe I'll just give it more time! I have another goal this second year. When I get my courage up to suffer some more, I'll fix my diet for good...eliminating high blood sugars. One would think it easy to eat right...but for me, this often proves elusive. Stay tuned...

Always good to focus on new goals as old ones are achieved.

Enjoy


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


• • • Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) • • •

This message is a reply to:
 Message 201 by Phat, posted 07-11-2017 2:49 PM Phat has not yet responded

  
jar
Member
Posts: 29820
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004
Member Rating: 1.5


(3)
Message 203 of 213 (814828)
07-13-2017 6:41 AM
Reply to: Message 201 by Phat
07-11-2017 2:49 PM


Re: Slogging Towards A Year (Day 359)
Keep on keeping on.

My Sister's Website: Rose Hill Studios     My Website: My Website

This message is a reply to:
 Message 201 by Phat, posted 07-11-2017 2:49 PM Phat has acknowledged this reply

  
New Cat's Eye
Member
Posts: 11858
From: near St. Louis
Joined: 01-27-2005
Member Rating: 1.5


(3)
Message 204 of 213 (814990)
07-14-2017 10:51 AM
Reply to: Message 201 by Phat
07-11-2017 2:49 PM


Re: Slogging Towards A Year (Day 359)
When I get my courage up to suffer some more, I'll fix my diet for good...eliminating high blood sugars. One would think it easy to eat right...but for me, this often proves elusive.

What worked for me was avoidance and major routine change.

I got rid of the "bad" food in my house and replaced it with only "good" food.

Then I changed my daily routine to include only eating good food.

It sucked for a little bit, but once it became routine it was pretty easy to maintain.

Then, once you start getting a return in the form of feeling a lot better, you'll have a great positive reason to keep doing it (as opposed to doing it to avoid a negative reason).

Once I got to that point, I never looked back.

Then it goes from a change in routine to a change in lifestyle. Once your lifestyle changes, it's harder to change back and easier to keep on it.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 201 by Phat, posted 07-11-2017 2:49 PM Phat has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 207 by Phat, posted 07-17-2017 4:19 PM New Cat's Eye has acknowledged this reply

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 10253
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


(6)
Message 205 of 213 (815048)
07-14-2017 11:47 PM


Day 362 Chip Night
So I stopped by the Celebrate Recovery Group meeting and shared some encouragement with the group members (who also shared with me)...I am somewhat of a celebrity in that I have nearly a year under my belt...and I received my 1 year chip symbolically tonight!

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. –RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
"as long as chance rules, God is an anachronism."~Arthur Koestler

Replies to this message:
 Message 206 by NoNukes, posted 07-15-2017 8:39 AM Phat has not yet responded
 Message 208 by Tanypteryx, posted 07-17-2017 9:32 PM Phat has not yet responded

  
NoNukes
Member
Posts: 10127
From: Central NC USA
Joined: 08-13-2010
Member Rating: 1.7


(1)
Message 206 of 213 (815061)
07-15-2017 8:39 AM
Reply to: Message 205 by Phat
07-14-2017 11:47 PM


Re: Day 362 Chip Night
You did not see me or hear me, but I gave you a "standing o" in front of my workstation.

Keep plugging bro!


Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also in prison. Thoreau: Civil Disobedience (1846)

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Martin Luther King

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. Thomas Jefferson

Worrying about the "browning of America" is not racism. -- Faith

Some of us are worried about just how much damage he will do in his last couple of weeks as president, to make it easier for the NY Times and Washington post to try to destroy Trump's presidency. -- marc9000


This message is a reply to:
 Message 205 by Phat, posted 07-14-2017 11:47 PM Phat has not yet responded

    
Phat
Member
Posts: 10253
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


(2)
Message 207 of 213 (815226)
07-17-2017 4:19 PM
Reply to: Message 204 by New Cat's Eye
07-14-2017 10:51 AM


Day 365! Now for Day # 1
New Cates Eye writes:

I got rid of the "bad" food in my house and replaced it with only "good" food.

Then I changed my daily routine to include only eating good food.

It sucked for a little bit, but once it became routine it was pretty easy to maintain.

Join me over at my new topic and we will start my next self-improvement effort. Today is Day #1! Health 4 Life~The Science Behind Consumption


Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. –RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
"as long as chance rules, God is an anachronism."~Arthur Koestler

This message is a reply to:
 Message 204 by New Cat's Eye, posted 07-14-2017 10:51 AM New Cat's Eye has acknowledged this reply

  
Tanypteryx
Member
Posts: 1593
From: Oregon, USA
Joined: 08-27-2006
Member Rating: 4.9


Message 208 of 213 (815248)
07-17-2017 9:32 PM
Reply to: Message 205 by Phat
07-14-2017 11:47 PM


Re: Day 362 Chip Night
Well done!

What if Eleanor Roosevelt had wings? -- Monty Python

One important characteristic of a theory is that is has survived repeated attempts to falsify it. Contrary to your understanding, all available evidence confirms it. --Subbie

If evolution is shown to be false, it will be at the hands of things that are true, not made up. --percy

The reason that we have the scientific method is because common sense isn't reliable. -- Taq


This message is a reply to:
 Message 205 by Phat, posted 07-14-2017 11:47 PM Phat has not yet responded

    
Phat
Member
Posts: 10253
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 209 of 213 (821860)
10-13-2017 5:38 PM


Relapse Blues
I dreaded writing this post, for I have (had) accomplished so much this past year and nearly everyone was cheering me on and congratulating my accomplishment.

It has, in fact, taken me two months to even be able to talk about what has happened since my one year mark. It was not what I consciously planned or envisioned. I failed. Not just a little, but BIG! In retrospect, I believe that I relapsed due to an unfulfilled sense of entitlement. I honestly felt strongly that I deserved a reward for that year of hard work.

So I allowed myself to gamble again. The plan, of course, was not to keep doing it. I had honestly convinced myself that God or fate or destiny or something was going to reward me for my efforts. To me, the year of sobriety did not feel as good as I thought it would...until now, where I mourn its loss. Now I am worse than ever. I am frustrated yet defiant. I don't really have the will as of today to attempt another year. Let alone a few days. I am failing, I can't seem to get a grip on sanity, and I am desperately praying for some fantasy or blessing or magic to erase these tortured feelings and to bring me back to sanity. Anyone reading...please don't offer advice. I got myself into this mess and somehow must find a way out.

One lesson I have learned is how easily the brain resumes its old patterns. I am humbled by how much I did accomplish and wonder why I can't seem to do it anymore.

I likely won't post anymore until and unless I climb out of this quicksand and get at least 30 days in again. To be honest, at this point I don't even feel like fighting.


Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. –RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
Paul was probably SO soaked in prayer nobody else has ever equaled him.~Faith :)

Replies to this message:
 Message 210 by jar, posted 10-13-2017 5:44 PM Phat has acknowledged this reply
 Message 211 by RAZD, posted 10-14-2017 8:07 AM Phat has acknowledged this reply
 Message 212 by NoNukes, posted 10-14-2017 9:31 AM Phat has responded

  
jar
Member
Posts: 29820
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004
Member Rating: 1.5


(4)
Message 210 of 213 (821862)
10-13-2017 5:44 PM
Reply to: Message 209 by Phat
10-13-2017 5:38 PM


Re: Relapse Blues
Get to a Psychiatrist. Not a Pastor, not a Counselor, not a Psychologist; a Psychiatrist. Seriously. Help is there.

My Sister's Website: Rose Hill Studios     My Website: My Website

This message is a reply to:
 Message 209 by Phat, posted 10-13-2017 5:38 PM Phat has acknowledged this reply

  
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