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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 805 of 1442 (817597)
08-18-2017 1:58 PM


Miss USA Question: Should Math Be Taught in Schools
A parody of people's objections to teaching evolution. It was Miss Vermont who caught my eye, because a friend who had living in Vermont described the women as dressing like that.
quote:
I mean, nobody really knows what the square root of 16 is.
Edited by Admin, : Put YouTube video in the message instead as a link to YouTube.

  
dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(5)
Message 806 of 1442 (817598)
08-18-2017 2:09 PM


Please Give Us A Sign!

Replies to this message:
 Message 808 by ramoss, posted 08-20-2017 10:04 PM dwise1 has not replied

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 832 of 1442 (824173)
11-24-2017 12:45 AM
Reply to: Message 830 by JonF
11-21-2017 2:53 PM


I've tried passing that one on to friends. Nobody ever got it.
I get it. Who here gets it and who doesn't?

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
 Message 833 by Minnemooseus, posted 11-24-2017 1:02 AM dwise1 has replied
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 Message 841 by ringo, posted 11-24-2017 11:28 AM dwise1 has not replied

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 835 of 1442 (824178)
11-24-2017 3:40 AM
Reply to: Message 834 by Phat
11-24-2017 1:53 AM


Re: Over My Head
In English (and in other languages, I would assume), there are various terms for collections of various animals along with various terms for their young. On Wikipedia, there is the article, "List of animal names" at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animal_names. Such lists come under the subject of "terms of venery", which appear to be derived from late Medieval English hunting terminology.
Best to study such lists, since they inevitably arise in trivia contests and crossword puzzles.

This message is a reply to:
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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 836 of 1442 (824179)
11-24-2017 3:44 AM
Reply to: Message 833 by Minnemooseus
11-24-2017 1:02 AM


I interpreted it as requiring 3 birds, for it to be able to go beyond just an attempt.
You remind me as myself as a child. Presented with an array of quasi-quantitative terms, I assigned values to them:
a couple = 2
a few = 3, maybe 4
some = 4 to 6
several = 7 -- probably because seven and several are so similar.
many = more than 7
All so perfectly logical, I could never understand why everybody else paid those distinctions no never mind.

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Replies to this message:
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dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 856 of 1442 (828744)
02-23-2018 12:42 PM
Reply to: Message 855 by Phat
02-23-2018 2:03 AM


Re: The Atheist Pig
Reminds me of a Canadian creationist who described himself as being a scientist and he was adamant about it. So I started asking the questions, starting with which field of science. It turned out that he had attended a science class once, so in his mind he was a scientist. I don't remember, but I'm sure that in that class he disagreed with everything the teacher said.
" ... , why are there still monkeys?"
That question is so incredibly stupid that when I mentioned it to a creationist he denounced me very strongly for thinking that any creationist would be so stupid as to say that. Yet I have seen creationists use it at least three times in the wild, the first one being a call-in to a radio-show where Duane Gish was the guest (he tried to correct her). Plus in 2002 it made it to Answers in Genesis' list of claims that they wish creationists would stop using (another claim on that list was that men have one fewer ribs than women do).
Two other incredibly stupid creationist claims that immediately demonstrate they have no idea what they're talking about:
  1. "Evolution is just a theory!"
  2. "But THEY'RE STILL MOTHS!!!"

This message is a reply to:
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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 868 of 1442 (831178)
04-13-2018 4:18 PM
Reply to: Message 866 by Phat
03-26-2018 10:34 AM


Re: This One Is For Coyote
Over the decades, I've casually collected a number of quotes. Here is one such from one John Rogers (as per my father-in-law: "En su propria casa se conoce" -- "In his own home they know who he is"):
quote:
"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(5)
Message 914 of 1442 (846979)
01-14-2019 2:18 PM


The Sure-fire GOP-friendly Solution to Border Security
Now this is one that Trump's base can really get behind:
But seriously.

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 915 of 1442 (847084)
01-17-2019 7:19 PM


Song: Happiness is a Jailed Trump
"He's not a guy who catches much ... "
By Rocky Mountain Mike, who's done other political song parodies like "Money From Russians (And Your Chicks Who Pee)".
Share and enjoy!
Edited by dwise1, : Added the artist

  
dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(2)
Message 931 of 1442 (848423)
02-05-2019 10:20 AM


Trump is Jabba the Hut?
This morning on MSNBC Live with Stephanie Ruhle, they were discussing the early stages of the investigation into Trump's inaugural committee. In describing the White House's options to respond, the analyst pointed out that Trump is so exposed on so many fronts that it would be hard to choose a response. Switching to a Star Wars analogy, they'd have to decide whether to attack the Death Star or the base on the planet. Ruhle ended that segment with the comment that she would not want to be chained or handcuffed to Jabba the Hut.
Trump would make a great Jabba the Hut, don't you think?

Replies to this message:
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dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(2)
Message 938 of 1442 (849434)
03-09-2019 9:28 PM


Street Preacher Bingo
I used my phone to take this picture off of a YouTube video.
It's hard to see the very top, but the name of the game is "You Don't Believe in God BINGO." The object of the game is stand around a street preacher (eg, Ray Comfort) and listen to him. Every time he uses a bad argument that's on the card, you mark it off. The first one to get Bingo yells "Bingo!" and holds his card up. I would assume that everybody gets a different card with the same bad arguments but in different squares.
I just now Google'd it and got these hits: https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=O3WEXMXpD8n_0g...

  
dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 939 of 1442 (849437)
03-10-2019 12:37 AM


Creationism Bingo Game
There's also a bingo game using PRATTs: ID Creationist Bingo -- eg, at https://skeptico.blogs.com/...o/2007/09/bingo-creationi.html. Google'ing on creationism bingo will also bring up an image gallery.
The sample card there (not an image) includes:
IRREDUCIBLE COMPLEXITY
JUST A THEORY
MOLECULAR "MACHINES" "TRUCKS" "BUSSES"
DARWIN RESPONSIBLE FOR HITLER / NAZIS
2nd LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS
"WATCH" OR "MOUSETRAP" OR "MOUNT RUSHMORE"
DARWINISM A "FAITH" OR A "RELIGION"
EVOLUTION A "THEORY IN CRISIS"
UNIVERSE IS FINE TUNED FOR LIFE
TRANSITIONAL FOSSILS / GAPS IN FOSSIL RECORD
TEACH THE CONTROVERSY / LET THE CHILDREN DECIDE
QUOTE MINE DARWIN OR OTHER SCIENTIST
JOKER (ie, a free square; does not refer to any mention of William Dembski, Michael Behe, or Phillip Johnson, etc)
MICRO NOT MACRO EVOLUTION
RANDOM / CHANCE
NEWTON (or other eminent scientist) A CREATONIST / RELIGIOUS
CONFUSE EVOLUTION WITH ABIOGENESIS
DNA IS "COMPUTER CODE"
NO EVIDENCE FOR EVOLUTION
COMPARE ID TO SETI / ARCHAEOLOGY
CAMBRIAN EXPLOSION
NO MORALITY WITHOUT GOD
"DARWINISM" "DARWINISTS"
MUTATIONS DO NOT ADD INFORMATION
REPEATS DEBUNKED ARGUMENTS
You could turn these bingo games into drinking games, but your liver would never survive.

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(3)
Message 948 of 1442 (849960)
03-27-2019 2:40 PM


I just came across this one:
quote:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
"Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

Replies to this message:
 Message 949 by Theodoric, posted 03-28-2019 9:57 AM dwise1 has replied

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(4)
Message 950 of 1442 (849998)
03-28-2019 10:11 AM
Reply to: Message 949 by Theodoric
03-28-2019 9:57 AM


So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."
One place I worked had art on all the hallways. One long hallway had paintings of cetaceans. When giving someone directions, we referred to that as "the whaling wall."

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(2)
Message 957 of 1442 (851113)
04-19-2019 4:47 PM


It's a Long Way from Amphioxus
I first encountered this song decades ago in an issue of C/E Newsletter as one that biology and paleontology students would sing on the bus to field work. It's sung to the tune of "It's A Long Way to Tipparary" and was written by Philip H. Pope in 1921.
Amphioxus, AKA "lancelets", is a chordate, but is not quite fully vertebrate having a notocord instead of a spine.
I got these lyrics from https://bscd.uchicago.edu/content/long-way-amphioxus:
quote:
"It's a Long Way from Amphioxus" was originally recorded by Sam Hilton and is the official theme song for the Biological Sciences Collegiate Division at The University of Chicago.
A fish-like thing appeared among the annelids one day.
It hadn't any parapods nor setae to display.
It hadn't any eyes nor jaws, nor ventral nervous cord,
But it had a lot of gill slits and it had a notochord.
It's a long way from Amphioxus, It's a long way to us.
It's a long way from Amphioxus to the meanest human cuss.
Well, it's goodbye to fins and gill slits, and it's welcome lungs and hair!
It's a long, long way from Amphioxus, but we all came from there.
It wasn't much to look at and it scarce knew how to swim,
And Nereis was very sure it hadn't come from him.
The mollusks wouldn't own it and the arthropods got sore,
So the poor thing had to burrow in the sand along the shore.
He burrowed in the sand before a crab could nip his tail,
And he said "Gill slits and myotomes are all to no avail.
I've grown some metapleural folds and sport an oral hood,
But all these fine new characters don't do me any good.
It's a long way from Amphioxus, It's a long way to us.
It's a long way from Amphioxus to the meanest human cuss.
Well, it's goodbye to fins and gill slits, and it's welcome lungs and hair!
It's a long, long way from Amphioxus, but we all came from there.
He sulked awhile down in the sand without a bit of pep,
Then he stiffened up his notochord and said, "I'll beat 'em yet!
Let 'em laugh and show their ignorance. I don't mind their jeers.
Just wait until they see me in a hundred million years.
My notochord shall turn into a chain of vertebrae
And as fins my metapleural folds will agitate the sea.
My tiny dorsal nervous cord will be a mighty brain
And the vertebrates shall dominate the animal domain.
It's a long way from Amphioxus, It's a long way to us.
It's a long way from Amphioxus to the meanest human cuss.
Well, it's goodbye to fins and gill slits, and it's welcome lungs and hair!
It's a long, long way from Amphioxus, but we all came from there.

There are a number of performances of the song on YouTube, such as this one:
Edited by dwise1, : name correction

  
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