One lesson I have learned is how easily the brain resumes its old patterns. I am humbled by how much I did accomplish and wonder why I can't seem to do it anymore.
I likely won't post anymore until and unless I climb out of this quicksand and get at least 30 days in again. To be honest, at this point I don't even feel like fighting.
You can do it, you have done it before, and doing it again is easier -- your brain will easily resume that learned pattern as well, but you are fighting one you've been trapped in for a long time. It takes dedication and commitment. You can do it.
I dreaded writing this post, for I have (had) accomplished so much this past year and nearly everyone was cheering me on and congratulating my accomplishment.
I applaud your courage. You confessed this for a reason. The past year of sobriety is still yours and remains part of you. You are still a recovering gambler. Fighting from a relapse is also part of that.
I hope you don't let this relapse prevent you from starting again. Get a few days of freedom on your belt, then a week, etc. Get help if you need it. Take prescribed meds if you need them. Your thinking will clear up again.
likely won't post anymore until and unless I climb out of this quicksand and get at least 30 days in again. To be honest, at this point I don't even feel like fighting.
That's human. I'll bet we all understand how you feel, and I'll bet that more than one of has been there. You don't have to cut us off.
Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also in prison. Thoreau: Civil Disobedience (1846)
I was thinking as long as I have my hands up … they’re not going to shoot me. This is what I’m thinking — they’re not going to shoot me. Wow, was I wrong. -- Charles Kinsey
We got a thousand points of light for the homeless man. We've got a kinder, gentler, machine gun hand. Neil Young, Rockin' in the Free World.
Worrying about the "browning of America" is not racism. -- Faith
I'll bet we all understand how you feel, and I'll bet that more than one of has been there. You don't have to cut us off.
I just meant in this particular thread. There is nothing to say here. There is lots to talk about elsewhere. I have found a Psychiatrist that will consult with me next week, to see if there are any options that may help my OCD. I will report more here only after I have reversed the destructive cycle.
Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. –RC Sproul "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain " ~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith Paul was probably SO soaked in prayer nobody else has ever equaled him.~Faith :)