What is an "Ex Believer", anyway?

It means he doesn't rely on his father to bail him out of everything. He takes responsibility for his own actions.

And often it means the child taking care of the parent.

Ive noticed more and more than many of our topics overlap in their psychological significance here at EvC. Specifically, I was thinking about what the basic psychological makeup of an evangelical and/or one type of believer actually infers.In other topics, we have talked of President Trump and of how and why the evangelical base, by and large, supports him. As I prepared to type a response to this topic, I thought of God as a father figure...then thought of the last post I typed in the Trump thread...and realized that in times of crises, many Americans also look to a strong leader who reassures them rather than frightens, instigates, and divides them.
One thinks of FDR and his comforting speeches during the dark days of World War II. President Obama was also a good one with words that encouraged civic duty and social responsibility.Many Christians feel the same way about God. We turn to scriptures that comfort and encourage us through the dark and challenging times of our lives.Reality may well suggest that I find comfort in the God whom I create in my mind and heart, but I can tell you right now that I would likely never find any comfort or security in any speech that Donald Trump would make in a time of national crises and that fact alone concerns me.My belief is that the GOD Who Is hears my prayers and concerns and hopefully through scripture, inner unction and realization, and the wise words of others
provides reassurance in hard times.Whoever our leader is, we need encouragement towards unity rather than divisiveness. That's my take on that.

As you probably can surmise, I have been bailed out my whole life. One of my 2018 resolutions is to try and assume more responsibility. GOD can be more of a safety net and less of a copilot. Maybe He really does want me to grow up! I can't imagine having to fend for myself in a universe with no God, however. Its just too overwhelmingly nerve-wracking! Thankfully my sweet Mother is still living at age 94. We had to place her in assisted living, and I now find myself taking care of her, with my sister. For many years well beyond my childhood, she took care of me. Perhaps that feeling---that awareness that I may someday be alone without her physically present is part of my externalized fear of letting go of God.

It's pretty much the same as a universe with God.

so are you saying that God and no God are the same thing? If so I can see how you thought your beliefs simply evaporated without you having to choose anything.But you chose to think that way

Effectively, yes. If you can show how God has a demonstrable effect on your universe, feel free to demonstrate it. If you think you can choose to believe, choose to believe in Santa Claus right now. Just believe in Santa Claus for a few minites; then you can switch back.Then we'll move on to Test #2.

I suppose you have a point. I would argue that Santa Claus never impressed me that much...even as a kid. The emotional catharsis of the initial Born Again experience is what solidified my belief initially, though there were many other contributing factors confirming the bias. I only question it because I observe Faith refusing to question or let go of hers. Which leads me to think that God, if God exists, would have no problems with my questioning nor doubting.

Phat, no disrespect here, I mean it... I'm so glad your mom is alive and well.But you have taken some otherwise jaw-droppingly arrogant liberties in evaluating the psychology of several ex-believers here, so I will do the same with you.You posts here just scream "I have mommy and daddy issues!!!"You are a grown-up. You are a man. You can think your own thoughts and have your own opinions, and oppose immoral ideas. You can fend for yourself in this world without your mom, you had no business forcing mommy to continue to care care of you beyond your childhood, and you can fend for yourself just as well in this Universe without an imaginary father figure that you want to call "God."I was a true believer until my late twenties. Three or four times a week for years I would be up before 4 a.m. to study the Word, and pray quietly before the Lord, basking in His presence. He spoke to me; gave me confidence; gave me Wisdom to speak the right words in someone's time of need. I fasted and prayed before Him several days a week for years, and no one else knew. I did it for Him, not for the praise of men. When I spoke in church, or in the children's or young people's summer camps, or VBS, or the nursing homes, you could hear a pin drop. I was a young minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, poured out in service before Him.I now no longer believe. I used to believe, and now I don't. It became more and more difficult to make excuses trying to justify the immorality of the versus I was preaching around. I was with missionaries on the Belize/Guatemala border when I realized I just could not in good conscience get into the pulpit and preach what I could no longer justify. This was not easy, but it was right. Please stop trying to project your mommy and daddy issues onto the lives of others who have found themselves (In the words of Richard Dawkins) comfortable "Growing Up in the Universe."

What do you make of the thing that spoke to you and gave you confidence? Just all in your head?

It wasn't "a thing" speaking to me. I was projecting my own thoughts and feelings into a third-party mind that I believed to be real, but wasn't.

How'd you figure that out? Was it an active projection, or passive? And can you still do it?

I'm not sure what you mean by an "active or passive projection," although as used in my sentence it is certainly in the active voice. Maybe you could clarify for me. I was not deliberately lying to myself; but then deception is usually subtle.If my brain were magically able to answer all my doubts and questions, and revert to a state of substance-less belief, I have little doubt I would be able to "do it" again. I mean, millions of people "do it" every day, to a variety of gods. Maybe you also "do it." These are the complexities of the human mind, but I'm not impressed with the way you worded it, as though it were a parlor trick.

I was wondering if you were actually trying to project it, or if it was just something you were doing unconsciously. I get how doubt could prevent you. But have you tried?Why did you qualify the belief as substance-less? I don't see why that matters in particular. Sure, but I don't think those people haven't concluded that they're just projecting. I'm just curious if you can still do the projecting after you've determined that's what you're doing.Oh yeah, so how did you determine this? Is it a deduction you had to accept after you stopped believing? Or was there something in particular that made you realize it? That was unintentional, and I don't mean to belittle the experience. I'm just curious. Just asking questions.

I'm not really sure of the sense in which you are using the term "Project." We all have good ideas and bad ideas occur to us every day. If we are particularly superstitious or religious, we may attribute those ideas that occur to us to an agency or mind external to us. For a lack of good reasons to continue in my belief, I took responsibility for my own ideas...stopped blaming them on invisible beings. I could "try" to communicate with a wide variety of beings and creatures that I am quite certain are imaginary...but why would I? Seriously...why? Because that is what Faith is according to Hebrews! Faith is believing in unseen and unheard stuff. Faith is belief in things for no good reason. Faith is belief in otherwise silly things just because. It matters in every conceivable way to me that my beliefs have some substance that is verifiable in some other way than I just want it to be true.