Everyday Rudeness-is it normal?

I work as a grocery checker at a major supermarket chain. We employees often comment about the rudeness and crass behavior of some of the customers. I have often wondered whether there is a general consensus on what is and is not rude in society today.As an example, I have a friend who--whenever we go to a fast food place--leaves his tray and his mess on the table when he is done because according to him, "They get paid to clean this up." I personally think that he is arrogant and even rude.In the grocery store, some acts of rudeness that we deal with are:
1)Customers talking on cell phone while checking out. They ignore the clerk and chatter away to their special friends.
2) Customers keep shopping while leaving their "order" in line. They thus hold up the line when it is their time to pay.
3) Customer gets way more than they can afford and then proceeds to subtract items from their total to make it affordable...leaving US to put back their stuff!To forum members: Are these incidents rude or am I trippin? Also...what type of rudeness do any of you see at YOUR jobs?

I would consider most of your examples rudeness. But I think sometimes what is perceived as rudeness by some is perceived differently by the "perpetrator".The slowest person in the world is always in front of me at the supermarket. Sometimes it is a little old lady who is doing the cashier a "favour" by counting out the exact change. Unfortunately, she has to go through her purse seven times to find that last penny.Now, she doesn't perceive herself as being rude, because she was brought up in a world where it was rude to not have exact change.If I start to get impatient, I have to work at not being rude myself. (Rudeness breeds rudeness.) When the cashier finally gets to me and apologizes for the delay, I always say, "I'm in no hurry," (even if I am).

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People who think they have all the answers usually don't understand the questions.

I know the little old ladies of which you speak. They are slow, but I never consider them rude.
However...I DO have people who seem to purposefully go slow and seemingly delight at watching the line squirm and fume behind them.Unlike the little old lady, these people COULD move quicker but somehow find it necessary to "educate" the line at patience. From MY perspective they are rude, but then again, you never know what they are really thinking. Any of "them" out there care to comment?This message has been edited by Phatboy, 06-03-2005 02:20 AM

PLEASE READ THE RULES BEFORE POSTING! LiveJournali think they're rude, yes. but i'm working from a "behind the counter" perspective. most of society doesn't seem to think those things are rude at all. most don't even notice.

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אָרַח

I think that your examples 1 and 2 are just rudeness but 3 sounds more like stupidity, and I say that as someone who has made such mistakes himself.TTFN,WK

A fair bit of that stuff is your job; having clerks reshelve items is a privlege grocery stores offer. When I'm at the grocery store, I'm not there to make friends. I'm there to get food and get out, and if I need to be talking on the cell phone to do so, so be it.No offense. I think you're being a bit too sensitive. I worked night desk at a hotel and let me tell you, nobody's ruder than seniors who have been up 4 hours past their bedtime and don't understand why prices have to go up on the weekend.

I've got a sneaky suspicion that rudeness is becoming more and more tolerated and commonplace and that this is a result of where our affluence in the west has taken us.
I'm a nurse in an NHS A+E department. Despite the fact that we are there to help people and are attempting to do the "right" thing to the best of our ability, I've never understood why people often seem to believe they have a right to speak to us rudely. The rudeness I'm talking of ranges from verbal abuse to physical attacks.
Not everybody is rude.. some are lovely but there is, in my experience, a definate correlation between age and rudeness. Older people on the whole, tend to be far more patient, far more tolerant and far more understanding of the pressures we are under. They tend to have more of a concept of others and understand that others may take more of a priority for treatment.
Most younger people are more concerned with how long they will be in department and how quickly they will recieve treatment. They are far more likely to get aggressive or abusive in the event of not getting their own way. Several times I've been told by younger people that they don't care whether or not there is somebody in more need than themselves and that they want treatment "NOW!" Obviously, this isn't always the case... some young people can be nice too whilst some of the older ones can be terrible but this is the general trend.
I think this can be put down to societal influences. Firstly, the NHS is, in someways, a victim of its own success. People expect more and more and each goverment incentive that tries to pander to this (in order to raise votes imho) raises the bar of expectation even further.
More generally, the attitude of every man for themselves seems more prevelant these days. People are encouraged to strive for material gains and more spiritual things like compassion have a smaller place in peoples priorities. Arrogance and "attitude" are concepts that are pushed onto people by marketing schemes etc..
I even have an idea that rudeness itself may be the result of stupity in some ways. What I mean is that in our society, "coolness" and "attitude" seem far more important than reflection and learning. Only the supid could fail to realise that these concepts are erroneous but they tend to make money whereas politeness and accomodating others doesn't
As a footnoot btw the rudest group by far, are the intra-vienous drug abusers. I know one shouldn't generalise but there is a definate pattern here. These people tend to get themselves into all kinds of trouble with their health and then, on presentation, will be so rude, manipulative and unco-operative. They waste our time and usually discharge themselves before treatment is complete. This delays the treatment of others and means that the ivdu's themselves end up returning to do exactly the same thing. I have nothing against somebody becaues they are addicted to a drug, afterall, there but for the grace etc... but they do generally follow exactly the same rude patterns of behaviour.

Orlanda, no offense, but that sounds a little bit like my dad complaining that nowadays the youth is just rude and music is only noise. I often have to remind him that my granddad had the same view on my dads escapades when he was younger. And, of course, I find myself now thinking that the stuff they play on the radio is not music and that kids nowadays are just snot-nosed little punks.Oddly enough, it always seems that the time you live in is considered to be either the best or the worst and not just like any other time before or after.

I will agree with you there! I have worked at several Safeways in different economic regions of the city. In the more affluent ones, people (mostly younger) are rude and ,like crashfrog, are "not in the store to make friends." They consider that it IS in fact our job to be at their beck and call regardless of how responsible or irresponsible they are. In "the hood", by contrast, people are more real. They wear their feelings on their sleeve. If they are mad, they hollar. If they are rude it is often nothing personal. The affluent customers, by contrast, are rude and it is usually personal. They are used to getting their way in life and they will trample anyone who gets in their way. Does that sound American to anyone?

Nice topic Phatboy, now I can rant. Bwahahaha. I used to work in a service deli...worst job EVER. Imagine for a lunch rush, hundreds of people who have 30-60 minutes to get lunch, they're all high stung and wanting their food RIGHT AWAY! Then once we recover from that terror, it's dinner time (this is where it gets bad). Picture hundreds of soccer moms who are trying to pick kids up from school and get them to soccer practice while shopping for dinner in between activites. They yell, and complain, and throw stuff. It's a humiliating job. I hated that place so much. So much. I don't think I am actually able to properly relay the ammount of contempt that I found for this job over the internet. Don't ever work in a deli.Brad

Where I live isn't exactly a tourist mecca, but the Americans I meet here tend to be very polite - not at all the stereotypical blowhards.On the other hand, I've been told I look like a Hell's Angel, so maybe people are afraid to be rude to me. I think that some rudeness is a form of bullying, where they pick on somebody who can't fight back.

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People who think they have all the answers usually don't understand the questions.

Phat,I guess I think rude is something that is more active like pushing in front of people or grabbing something out of their hands. People are sometimes inconsiderate or thoughtless which is to say they aren't overriding other people in a selfish way but are preoccupied and self centered. I think these things are shades along a continuum. Sometimes something has come up and they think it will take less time than it does ... such as the dash for the last minute item. They may have forgotten how much money they had.I don't have a cell phone but I have realized last minute I forgot something and run to get it (it wasn't far), and although it's been a long while (bankcards cover the short of cash thing) I think I've had to decide to not get something because I didn't add it up right in my head or had thought I had more cash on me. I didn't do these things to inconvenience anyone. They were shortsightedness on my part. Does my apology make it less rude? I tend to be polite in the sense of saying "excuse me", "sorry", "thank you" and holding doors for people.As a walker I'm more upset with car drivers and their disregard for the rights of pedestrians.lfen

You cheeky so and so... I'm only 35 though... but after re-reading my thread I see what you mean
Please believe me though, in my line of work, you are much more likely to see impatience, intolerance and rudeness in the younger age group. I include people of my own tender age in this btw.

Orlando, the words you were looking for are: snot-nosed little punk. And I actually fall in the same age group as you do.

I'm a former checker, but I didn't face the same technological problems modern checkers face. There were no cell phones for customers to chat away on while clerks waited for attention. There were no laser scanners, we had to enter every item ourself. Customers would never ask us to subtract items, at least not a second time, because that required the cash department head to be called from who knows where so he bring the special key to unlock the subtract capability of the register.It was frequent that items had to be returned to the shelves, I don't recall the reasons customers had. After closing (oh yeah, forgot to mention, grocery stores weren't open 24 hours back then) someone was designated to wheel the return cart through the store putting the items back on the shelf.Interestingly, all us checkers could check far faster than today's checkers who have to get the laser to read each item. I could ring up 20 bottles of baby food in one fell swoop as $3 (it's probably not 15 cents a bottle anymore, though). All multiple item groupings only got entered once; checkers quickly learned the times tables for all kinds of odd combinations - quick, what's $1.29 times 4? (answer: the same as $1.30 times 4 minus $0.04) Every item had a price marked on it, and the poor little old ladies keeping track of me entering the prices as I pushed the items past me would become totally confused because I was already ringing up items far up the conveyor that I couldn't reach yet. When I was done ringing things up I would just take the rest of the items and push them past me all together.This was a long time ago and I don't remember any specific rudeness. The incidents I remember are when I encountered quick change artists, which only happened twice. They give you a $20 bill, then as you're giving them change they say, "Oh, wait, can I give your two tens for that 20," or one of the many variations, and then the fun begins.--Percy