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How do you remove a 30 foot tapeworm from your inside?

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Author Topic:   How do you remove a 30 foot tapeworm from your inside?
arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1371 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004

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Message 2 of 47 (268936)
12-13-2005 6:06 PM 		Reply to: Message 1 by coffee_addict
12-13-2005 5:56 PM

the cookie method
every day for a month, you shove an onion and a cookie up your asshole.
​
then one day, you just shove the onion up there. when he pokes his head out to ask "hey, where the hell is my cookie, bitch?" GRAB AND PULL.
​
אָרַח
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Replies to this message:
 Message 3 by macaroniandcheese, posted 12-13-2005 6:45 PM arachnophilia has replied
 Message 6 by RAZD, posted 12-13-2005 6:50 PM arachnophilia has replied
  
arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1371 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004

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Message 5 of 47 (268955)
12-13-2005 6:50 PM 		Reply to: Message 3 by macaroniandcheese
12-13-2005 6:45 PM

Re: the cookie method
my recommendation though is a lawyer and solid pre-existing recording contracts.
​
no no, that's how to KEEP a tapeworm from coming out.
​
trust me, if i could shove a cookie and an onion up my ass everyday for a month to get THAT to come out, i probably would. sombody needs to leak that stuff, now.
​
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arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1371 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004

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Message 8 of 47 (268958)
12-13-2005 6:52 PM 		Reply to: Message 1 by coffee_addict
12-13-2005 5:56 PM

in all seriousness
there's a kind of tapeworm that breeds in the waters of certain third-world countries. the people there tend to wait until it breaks the skin in the legs and feet, and wrap the head around a stick, and slowly wind it out. it's excruciatingly painful, and takes weeks.
​
dunno if there's a better way.
​
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arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1371 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004

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Message 10 of 47 (268963)
12-13-2005 7:07 PM 		Reply to: Message 9 by NosyNed
12-13-2005 7:05 PM

Re: Not a tapeworm
oh yes, that sounds right.
​
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arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1371 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004

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Message 16 of 47 (269094)
12-14-2005 12:24 AM 		Reply to: Message 6 by RAZD
12-13-2005 6:50 PM

Re: the cookie method
completely ignoring the fact IIRC that tapeworms are segmented worms that can regrow from any segment, and their natural defense is to break.
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oh, ruin a joke would you.
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arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1371 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004

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Message 42 of 47 (450100)
01-20-2008 3:27 PM 		Reply to: Message 41 by msspurlock
01-20-2008 3:19 PM

Re: Segments
As soon as I read The Cookie Method, I knew something was up.
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for the record, i would have posted that in a serious thread.
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oh and to spurlock, welcome to EvC. and to everyone else BEWARE THE ZOMBIE THREAD.
​
Edited by arachnophilia, : No reason given.
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