How do I deal with a creationist family member?

and I feel she is hindering their learning by bashing evolution.Deluding to society in general: why is it status-quo to accept ignorance from the religious for fear of offending them, but, it's ok to knock science? Why must we pander to the religious? (I am not speaking about my case in particular, but society. I know why I need to compromise with her.)

Oh, that sort of response never goes well. I often tmes respond that way, only to get accused of not caring. I think I will try that, thanks.

Hi Ho...1. Above, your message quote = She is forcing her views on the kids.2. Below, your quote from the OP = You are forcing your views on the kids. Problem = the kids.Strategy (no easy solution, given the circumstances)= You present this message to your woman. Propose to agree that each of you allow the other to proselyte the respective POVs to the kids in private with the kids, but not in family debate. Then allow the chips to fall where the kids let them fall.Four possible results =1. Your wife's prayers and POV will ultimately prevail.2. Your POV will eventually prevail.3. Neither of your POVs will prevail.4. A conglomeration of POVs will prevail, i.e. agnosticism, etc.My prayers will go up for your and yours, beginning tonight, that you will all ultimately come to the knowledge of the truth.

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BUZSAW B 4 U 2 C Y BUZ SAW.
The immeasurable present eternally extends the infinite past and infinitely consumes the eternal future.

hooah will suffice. Thank you. (I'm not a ho. That is offensive.) Call it my disdain for the religious, but I don't see my views as being forced on them as I do religion being forced. how many scientific methods are there? Now how many religions? Why teach them just the one religion? How can you "force" the scientific method, or logical/critical thinking? that is my way. I just want them to know all the options, and take away from it what they will. If they grow up god-fearing, bible thumping creationists, fine. They will know to stay the hell away from me with that. I've no problem with that angle. It's just a matter of her agreeing to it as well. Therein lies the problem. I search for it every day. Hopefully i will find it. Although, the search has enlightened me and taught me quite a bit more than had I just found the answer and stopped looking.Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.

Hi again, Hooah. Please accept my apologies for the offense. The only rendering of "ho" I was aware of was it's usage as an interjection such as in "hi ho Silver," i.e. the Lone Ranger. After looking up the secondary meaning I see my bad. 1. There are multiple POVs on science as well. We Biblical creationists have various science views as do secularists who reject the literalist Biblical account.2. If you would teach your way to little kids, in essence, you are forcing your ideology on them just as much as she is. It's called indoctrination. We agree that there's no simple solution. It's good that you are seeking counsel here and elsewhere so as to work out a resolution. My sincere regards to you and yours.

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BUZSAW B 4 U 2 C Y BUZ SAW.
The immeasurable present eternally extends the infinite past and infinitely consumes the eternal future.

I hardly see teaching logic, reason and the search for evidence as indoctrination.Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.

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Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl Sagan

She hardly sees teaching her views as indoctrination. And therein lies the crux of the problem.My advice? I'm usually very antagonistic about stuff like this, but I don't think with you having kids and all that that's a good idea. If she was just your girlfriend/wife, I'd suggest grilling her till the cows come home, now however, that might not be so wise.Simply let her teach your kids, just teach your own stuff as well. Perhaps get some more broadminded of her friends (or family members) to see your situation, and talk to her about it. Or better yet, go to the pastor of her local church, and explain your dilemma to him, maybe he will help. (If he's a Catholic, they usually aren't all this anti science and all).Anyway, good luck.

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I hunt for the truthI am the one Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.
-Lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead

Ahhh. I see.

The problem is, for the sort of person you're describing, accepting different viewpoints is the same thing as admitting that she's wrong.

Hi hooah212002just one thing to remember is that people are often emotionally attached to religion because it may be a part of their family culture, or they may believe that God is really there and this is an emotionally comforting belief.so when you try to reason with her, just keep in mind that she may be emotionally attached to the idea of a creator. My guess is thats why your discussions become heated.I cant advise you on what to do but I can tell you that you can still have a good strong relationship with her. My husband and I both have different beliefs and we also used to get into heated arguments over them. But we've come to a compromise now and its working very well. We dont challenge each other the way we once did. When we did challenge each others beleifs, thats when we became at odds with each other.So for us the key was to not challenge each others beliefs. We accept that we both think differently and we put it in a box and leave it there.good luck.

Hi hooah, She probably thinks more in the terms of a devil. 1. "Why are the religious that way?"She believes in God, heaven, and the lake of fire.
Those who believe in God and meet His requirements will spend eternity in heaven.
Those who do not believe in God and meet His requirements will spend eternity in the lake of fire.
These things are just as real to her as they are unreal to you.As far as I can tell from what you have written that is all she believes in.She is not a good Catholic or she would not be living with you without being married to you. More than likely if the Church knew she would be excommunicated from the Church.2. "Is god that much of a prick?"God made you a free moral agent and gave you the ability to choose to believe anything you want to believe. Problem is He gave her the same choice.3. "I am fairly certain Jesus would understand".God and Jesus are one and the same just different manifestations of the one entity, and yes He understands.Now to the real problem.
"Again, it's either I compromise with her, or else?"What is the alternative?I do not know how things are where you live but where I live your
alternatives would be very limited.If you decided you could not compromise and cross the line she has already drawn you will end up in court. She would get full custody of the kids, and you would be required to pay child support. Since you are not married the court system here would limit your contact with the kids probably to every other weekend. This would limit your access to the kids to about 52 days a year.Before you make too drastic of a decision I would suggest you talk to a lawyer in your area and maybe even a family councilor.You do have some very hard decisions to make.Keep in mind decisions you have already made in the past has brought you to this point. If you knew she believed in God before you began living with her it is no one's fault but your own.So many people make the mistake of believing they can change the partner's belief to match theirs. The problem is 99% of the time that is impossible. I really don't think you will have a problem teaching the kids things of science.You will have a big problem when you try to teach them there is no God.As far as she is concerned the Bible gives the how and why the universe exists.Your science has no answer for either of those.God Bless,

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"John 5:39 (KJS) Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me."

What state do you live in? In California, as well as in most states, in order for her to get full custody she will need to show that he is in some way unfit or less fit that she is. Otherwise the default is always 50/50 custody share.

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"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." -Albert Einstein"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief."
~ Gerry Spence

Hooah,Certainly it is always risky to try and diagnose a relationship over the internet so certainly I may be way off base here, but...When I read your post I can't help but projecting myself and people I know into your situation. What I would try to do here is decide what my goal is. You have a history with this person and it seems this history is possibly getting in the way of communicating. Is your history simply going to make any real communication difficult to the point where these discussions become mostly opportunities to inflict pain on each other?Seems one critical piece of information would be, are you able to communicate well with her when the topics are not religious?It is unclear are you together as a couple and living in the same house?Were I in your place I think I would consider the tact of exploring religion together. The difficulty would be then if you could find avenues where religion was actually explored rather than dogmatically taught.

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It doesn't sound to me that he's trying to proselytize her, it sounds like he's more concerned about his child, and that she won't let him have any influence over the child. I'm sure, in other circumstances, they could leave the topic aside, or part ways, but with a child, the situation becomes more tangled.

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Well, wouldn't an easier approach be to not couch discussions in terms 'teaching his anti-religious views'? If she's seeing religion primarily as an emotional issue and not a scholarly pursuit, then she's probably compartmentalized religion to apply to only part of her world-view. It seems counter-productive to force her to apply religion to more aspects of her life by forcing her to draw comparisons. Why make religion the fight if it isn't that much of a day to day influence in her life?Were I raising a child at this point I would spend my efforts on math, logic, and science basics. Giving the children the ability to evaluate issues themselves will more than pay off down the road and perhaps I'd even manage to raise a kid who thinks that becoming a rapper or having a huge Sweet 16 party equals success. At the very least they'd likely have the tools to undo much of any damage I'd do in raising them.

Hi Hooah,Not that I'm in a position to give advice, seeing as how I'm on my third husband. Wait maybe that does put me in the position?Anyway, it sounds to me that ICANT is right on about this, that this woman is not a good Catholic to begin with. As such she is in no position to judge you and IMO is a hypocrite.If she is unwilling to compromise on this issue, what other issues will she be uncompromising about? Is she someone that is open minded about other things?Relationships are a two way road. Any other way and it boarders on abusive, IMO.I, myself, am a very easy going, compromising person, but on this one issue I'm not. Before I met my current husband, when I was dating, I made it a point to never date anyone that wasn't an atheist, agnostic or maybe a Buddhist. As I feel that it is very important for a couple to be on the same page when it comes to religion and differences of world view. I did a lot of Internet dating and I even went so far as to state so in my profiles "Please no Christians, Thank you!"Best of luck to you on coming to a resolution on this issue!