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Author Topic:   Humor V
Flyer75
Member (Idle past 2423 days)
Posts: 242
From: Dayton, OH
Joined: 02-15-2010


Message 16 of 647 (557328)
04-24-2010 4:50 PM
Reply to: Message 11 by subbie
04-15-2010 3:00 PM


Re: Angry Alien Productions.
LOL....good stuff subbie. Never seen that before.

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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1404 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 17 of 647 (557352)
04-24-2010 7:10 PM
Reply to: Message 15 by onifre
04-24-2010 4:38 PM


Re: Greg Giraldo & Lazyboy
This one's good too
Enjoy

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


• • • Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) • • •

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Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3941
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 18 of 647 (557355)
04-24-2010 7:38 PM
Reply to: Message 15 by onifre
04-24-2010 4:38 PM


Lazyboy humor? I'll show you Lazy Boy humor
From the local paper:
404: Page Not Found
quote:
A Proctor man driving a motorized La-Z-Boy lounge chair hit a parked vehicle while under the influence of alcohol.
Dennis LeRoy Anderson, 62, pleaded guilty Monday in St. Louis County District Court to DWI in connection with the Aug. 31, 2008, incident in Proctor. There were no injuries.
According to the criminal complaint, Anderson drove his motorized chair into a vehicle parked near a Proctor bar. Anderson told police he was traveling from the Keyboard Lounge after consuming approximately eight or nine beers. His blood-alcohol content was measured at 0.29 percent, more than three times the legal limit to drive.
More at the cite.
Another (better?) version of the story:
quote:
The operator of a La-Z-Boy chair converted into a motorized vehicle -- complete with a stereo and cup holders -- has admitted that he crashed the piece of furniture after leaving a bar in Proctor, Minn., extremely drunk.
Dennis LeRoy Anderson, 61, of Proctor, pleaded guilty Monday to hopping on the chair on the night of Aug. 31, 2008, after visiting the bar, then crashing into a more traditional vehicle in the parking lot. Anderson's blood-alcohol content was 0.29 percent, more than three times the legal limit for driving in Minnesota.
Deputy Police Chief Troy Foucault said Thursday that the chair is "quite decked out." Along with the stereo and cup holders, it is powered by a converted gasoline-powered lawnmower, a steering wheel, headlights and a power antenna.
Foucault estimated that the La-Z-Boy can top out at 15 to 20 mph. A National Hot Rod Association sticker adorns the headrest.
Photo
The fficial&ei=533TS_KdN4jK9gSIzd3PDw&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&ved=0CBwQBSgA&q=lazy+boy+proctor&spell=1]-->Google "Lazy Boy Proctor" search.
My understanding (and the info is probably there somewhere) is that, after a number of false starts/glitches, the chair has now been auctioned off.
Moose
Edited by Minnemooseus, : Add link to photo.

Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U
Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith
"Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. To be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." - Conan O'Brien
"I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose

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Tanypteryx
Member
Posts: 4344
From: Oregon, USA
Joined: 08-27-2006
Member Rating: 5.9


Message 19 of 647 (557766)
04-27-2010 8:17 PM


Hubble Telescope Photographs Heaven
I miss the Weekly World News. The Noah's Arc story reminded me of my all time favorite story.
http://heavenmultiverse.com/...tographed-by-hubble-telescope
WASHINGTON, DC — Despite new repairs to the Hubble Telescope, NASA refuses to release old photos or take new ones of Heaven!
In 1994, a researcher was smuggled one top-secret photo the Hubble Space Telescope had taken of what is presumed to be Heaven. Weekly World News was the first to print the image and report on Dr. Masson’s findings, but despite the media coverage, NASA refused to acknowledge the existence of the photo.
Now that the Hubble has been repaired and NASA is officially releasing some of it’s new findings, the Weekly World News editorial team believes it is NASA’s responsibility to further investigate this space anomaly!.......
I had this story posted in my lab for years. Funny, the only people who did not laugh were the Christians. LOL

What if Eleanor Roosevelt had wings? -- Monty Python
You can't build a Time Machine without Weird Optics -- S. Valley

Taz
Member (Idle past 3291 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 20 of 647 (557844)
04-28-2010 9:01 AM
Reply to: Message 14 by nwr
04-22-2010 12:14 PM


nwr writes:
So, I received this email from a stranger, probably a nigerian princess Russian scammer or something.
Fixed it for you.
Taz writes:
So, I received this email from a stranger, probably a nigerian princess Russian scammer or something.
Fixed it for you.
Aren't you single? You got the email of the Russian princess. Go for it, man. Me, I'm not available anymore, unfortunately.

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Shield
Member (Idle past 2862 days)
Posts: 482
Joined: 01-29-2008


Message 21 of 647 (558368)
04-30-2010 9:13 PM


Some funny guy from Wales

hooah212002
Member (Idle past 801 days)
Posts: 3193
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 22 of 647 (558876)
05-05-2010 10:40 AM


Source

Replies to this message:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 284 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 23 of 647 (558922)
05-05-2010 2:39 PM
Reply to: Message 22 by hooah212002
05-05-2010 10:40 AM


Actually, I have seen scientists say numbers (1), (2), (4), (5) and (6).
It's still funny.

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Species8472
Junior Member (Idle past 4881 days)
Posts: 29
Joined: 01-13-2010


Message 24 of 647 (559067)
05-06-2010 11:51 AM


The almighty has bad aim
Volcano is allah's punishment for infidels and polytheists
Volcano is god's punishment for health care reform.
Volcano is god's punishment for homosexuals and nazis
Edited
Thanks, that still leaves 3.
Edited by Species8472, : No reason given.
Edited by Species8472, : No reason given.
Edited by Species8472, : No reason given.

Replies to this message:
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hooah212002
Member (Idle past 801 days)
Posts: 3193
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 25 of 647 (559069)
05-06-2010 12:04 PM
Reply to: Message 24 by Species8472
05-06-2010 11:51 AM


Re: The almighty has bad aim
You do know that christwire is satire, right? Classic example of Poe's Law in action. It's actually a better example than Landover Baptist since it's relatively new.

"The Bible was written to show us how to go to heaven, not how the heavens go" -Galileao

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onifre
Member (Idle past 2950 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 26 of 647 (559121)
05-06-2010 7:09 PM


Bonus tracks
I saw this special, actually I've seen it about 4 times. But I hadn't heard the bonus track.
Favorite line: "Daddy read me a story. Fuck you, the end." Listen and you'll know what I'm talking about.
- Oni

Replies to this message:
 Message 27 by hooah212002, posted 05-06-2010 7:58 PM onifre has replied

hooah212002
Member (Idle past 801 days)
Posts: 3193
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 27 of 647 (559125)
05-06-2010 7:58 PM
Reply to: Message 26 by onifre
05-06-2010 7:09 PM


Re: Bonus tracks
ahahah. "it feels like your asshole is feeding you happiness". Awesome.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2950 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 28 of 647 (559126)
05-06-2010 8:24 PM
Reply to: Message 27 by hooah212002
05-06-2010 7:58 PM


Re: Bonus tracks
ahahah. "it feels like your asshole is feeding you happiness". Awesome.
That's awesome, huh? Love this dude.
- Oni

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Taz
Member (Idle past 3291 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 29 of 647 (559304)
05-08-2010 1:09 PM


Our Lord Jesus Christ has been struck by a car
http://www.boston.com/...g_news/2010/05/lord_jesus_chri.html
quote:
'Lord Jesus Christ' struck by car in Northampton
E-mail|Link May 7, 2010 03:13 PM
By Shana Wickett, Globe Correspondent
Pedestrians are struck by cars in Northampton’s downtown area on occasion, but it’s not often one of those pedestrians has the same name as the son of God, according to the Northampton Police.
I’ve been here 24 years, and that is a first, said Northampton Police Captain Scott Savino.
Police responded at around 3:40 p.m. on Tuesday to investigate an incident where a pedestrian was struck by a vehicle while he was in a Main Street crosswalk, Savino said. The man was hurt, but conscious, and handed police his identification, Savino said.
He was identified from a Massachusetts ID card, so that is his legal name, Savino added. The card listed his name as Lord Jesus Christ, Savino said.
The 50-year-old Belchertown resident was transported to Cooley Dickinson Hospital in Northampton with non-life threatening injuries to his face, mouth and legs, Savino said.
The driver, Brittany Cantarella, 20, of Pittsfield was issued a citation for a crosswalk violation, Savino said. Cantarella was driving a 2005 Chevrolet sedan.
The hospital said no one named Christ was a patient there today. Efforts to find a home phone number for Christ were unscuccessful.

I'm sure he'll be all right in 3 days.
Edited by Taz, : No reason given.

Replies to this message:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 284 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 30 of 647 (559405)
05-09-2010 3:11 AM
Reply to: Message 29 by Taz
05-08-2010 1:09 PM


Re: Our Lord Jesus Christ has been struck by a car
Efforts to find a home phone number for Christ were unscuccessful.
He's ex-directory. But if you're interested, I know the number of the Beast.

This message is a reply to:
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