EvC Forum: Humor V

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Topic: Humor V

New Cat's Eye

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Message 496 of 647 (593955)
11-30-2010 4:49 PM

This is a comparison of news headlines with Fox at the bottom.

^click to enlarge

Well, maybe its not really "funny"...

Edited by Catholic Scientist, : No reason given.

Replies to this message:
	Message 497 by frako, posted 11-30-2010 5:30 PM		New Cat's Eye has not replied

frako

Member (Idle past 331 days)

Posts: 2932

From: slovenija

Joined: 09-04-2010

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Message 497 of 647 (593960)
11-30-2010 5:30 PM

Reply to: Message 496 by New Cat's Eye
11-30-2010 4:49 PM

From Sister(Mrs).Felicia Koroma,
Abidjan Cote d Ivoire West Africa

Dearest in the lord,

I am Mrs Felicia.H.Koroma ,from Sierra Leone.I am married to late Mr. Joseph Koroma, who worked with Sierra Leone Embassy in Ivory Coast for Twenty-Six years before he died in the year 2003,after a brief illness that lasted for only five days. We were married for Eighteen years with a duaghter (Edvige) who later died in a motor accident. Before the untimely death of my husband,we were both born again Christians(from Muslim to Christianity). And since after his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of (US$2.5M )Two Million,Five hundred Thousand United States Dollars) in a General Trust Account with a prime bank in Abidjan Cote d Ivoire.
Presently,this money is still with the bank. Following my ill health, being a victim to cancer , I have decided to donate this fund to a Christain organizations (Church or person) that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct herein,according to the desire of my late husband. I want this fund to be used in Christain Activities like,Orphanages,Christain schools, and Churches for propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth". I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers.I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way.
This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace". I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health as well the presence of my husband's relatives around me .I don't want them to know about this development. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life as well commit me into your daily prayers. Contact me on this e-mail addressfeliciakoroma@datafull.com), any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another Church for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to
receive your reply immediately .

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Sister Felicia Koroma,
Avenue 4 Marcory residential
14 bp 211 Abidjan 14

Why do all scammers try to scam me ???
And the irony im an atheist lol

I got this pm on this forum from Ayresy

This message is a reply to:
	Message 496 by New Cat's Eye, posted 11-30-2010 4:49 PM		New Cat's Eye has not replied

Dr Adequate

Member (Idle past 310 days)

Posts: 16113

Joined: 07-20-2006

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Message 498 of 647 (594412)
12-03-2010 11:45 AM

I think this is funny. Try to imagine it being spoken with genuine and evident pride.

Way back in geologic time
so scientists will all agree
my ancestors were blobs of slime
and simple as can be,
but I'm descended from the blobs
that best performed their blobby jobs
the blob aristocrats, the nobs
--- a noble pedigree!
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.

Invertebrates were next to dare
to wriggle in the seas and squirm
and those that passed their genes on were
the finest sort of worm.
I'm sprung from those invertebrates
who had the most inverte-mates
and lots of hot inverte-dates
--- a noble pedigree!
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.

When first the vertebrates were grown
to swim in oceans far and free
and flexed their novel spines of bone
in some Devonian sea
then all the fish from which I am
descended were the best that swam,
their schools passed nature's strict exam
--- a noble pedigree!
and so with pride I must confess
my lineage, as you may guess
is one long story of success
and so gave rise to me.

When tetrapods began to stand
and crawl about upon their legs
then from the best in all the land
who laid the nicest eggs
my line descends: from ranks and squads
of well-adapted tetrapods
whose strength and cunning beat the odds
--- a noble pedigree!
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.

And in the Cenozoic world
when monkeys leapt from tree to tree
they munched on fruit and nuts, and hurled
their dung with zest and glee:
and from the simians that flung
with greatest force and aim their dung,
this is the line from which I'm sprung
--- a noble pedigree!
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.

And every single hominid
that passed on their genetic strains
did best the things that ape-men did
and had the largest brains;
and so in each and every case
my forbears in the human race
competed well and took first place
--- a noble pedigree!
and so with pride I must confess
my lineage, as you may guess
is one long story of success
and so gave rise to me.
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.

Blue Jay

Member (Idle past 2723 days)

Posts: 2843

From: You couldn't pronounce it with your mouthparts

Joined: 02-04-2008

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Message 499 of 647 (594417)
12-03-2010 11:57 AM

Reply to: Message 487 by Theodoric
11-26-2010 9:19 PM

Re: Ageist hat on

Hi, Theodoric.

Theodoric writes:

Well to give away my age. The number of my last post was the year I was born.

That was Message 485, so you were born in 485? Was that AD or BC?

-Bluejay (a.k.a. Mantis, Thylacosmilus)

Darwin loves you.

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	Message 487 by Theodoric, posted 11-26-2010 9:19 PM		Theodoric has replied

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Theodoric

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Posts: 9197

From: Northwest, WI, USA

Joined: 08-15-2005

Member Rating: 3.2

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Message 500 of 647 (594429)
12-03-2010 12:22 PM

Reply to: Message 499 by Blue Jay
12-03-2010 11:57 AM

Re: Ageist hat on

LOL. I meant the number of posts I had made. At the time it was 1962. Seems I am almost up to the current year. This will be 2007 for me.

ABE

Theodoric the Great was close to that though. He was born in 454 C.E.

Edited by Theodoric, : No reason given.

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	Message 499 by Blue Jay, posted 12-03-2010 11:57 AM		Blue Jay has seen this message but not replied

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frako

Member (Idle past 331 days)

Posts: 2932

From: slovenija

Joined: 09-04-2010

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Message 501 of 647 (594481)
12-03-2010 2:52 PM

Reply to: Message 500 by Theodoric
12-03-2010 12:22 PM

Re: Ageist hat on

And i thought i found myself a real life immortal

Edited by frako, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
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Shield

Member (Idle past 2888 days)

Posts: 482

Joined: 01-29-2008

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Message 502 of 647 (594484)
12-03-2010 3:08 PM

The truth of why homosexuals are excluded from the Kingdom of Heaven

I guess its not THAT funny but it still made me laugh. From a thread on abovetopsecret.com:

quote:
The truth of why homosexuals are excluded from the Kingdom of Heaven

In the Kingdom of Heaven, nothing is impossible for all things are possible with God. Simply put, if you are gay, then you cannot have intercourse with a woman, because that would make you hetereosexual. Since this invalidates the argument that all things are possible in the kingdom of Heaven, this is also the reason a gay person may not enter.

If a gay person were to have intercourse with the opposite sex, then they would no longer be gay and all things then would be possible for them. This truth has been hidden from you for you are trying to validate righteousness through sexual preference rather than one of possibilities.

Benjamin ~ son of the right hand of God aka (wolf in sheeps clothing)

Replies to this message:
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Theodoric

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Posts: 9197

From: Northwest, WI, USA

Joined: 08-15-2005

Member Rating: 3.2

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Message 503 of 647 (594485)
12-03-2010 3:10 PM

Reply to: Message 502 by Shield
12-03-2010 3:08 PM

Re: The truth of why homosexuals are excluded from the Kingdom of Heaven

So using this argument heterosexuals cannot enter the "Kingdom of Heaven" either.

Classic fundie inability to reason.

This message is a reply to:
	Message 502 by Shield, posted 12-03-2010 3:08 PM		Shield has seen this message but not replied

New Cat's Eye

Inactive Member

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Message 504 of 647 (594506)
12-03-2010 4:43 PM

nerdy math comic

I lol'd

Replies to this message:
	Message 505 by bluescat48, posted 12-03-2010 6:20 PM	New Cat's Eye has not replied
	Message 506 by arachnophilia, posted 12-03-2010 8:14 PM	New Cat's Eye has not replied

bluescat48

Member (Idle past 4215 days)

Posts: 2347

From: United States

Joined: 10-06-2007

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Message 505 of 647 (594518)
12-03-2010 6:20 PM

Reply to: Message 504 by New Cat's Eye
12-03-2010 4:43 PM

Re: nerdy math comic

LOLOLOLOLOL Keyewt

There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002

Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969

Since Evolution is only ~90% correct it should be thrown out and replaced by Creation which has even a lower % of correctness. W T Young, 2008

This message is a reply to:
	Message 504 by New Cat's Eye, posted 12-03-2010 4:43 PM		New Cat's Eye has not replied

arachnophilia

Member (Idle past 1369 days)

Posts: 9069

From: god's waiting room

Joined: 05-21-2004

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Message 506 of 647 (594532)
12-03-2010 8:14 PM

Reply to: Message 504 by New Cat's Eye
12-03-2010 4:43 PM

Re: nerdy math comic

whoah, someone needs to introduce you to smbc.

and the secret panel:

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Eat

אָרַח

This message is a reply to:
	Message 504 by New Cat's Eye, posted 12-03-2010 4:43 PM		New Cat's Eye has not replied

Huntard

Member (Idle past 2321 days)

Posts: 2870

From: Limburg, The Netherlands

Joined: 09-02-2008

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Message 507 of 647 (594624)
12-04-2010 3:05 AM

Reply to: Message 501 by frako
12-03-2010 2:52 PM

Re: Ageist hat on

Yes, I'm still here too

This message is a reply to:
	Message 501 by frako, posted 12-03-2010 2:52 PM		frako has not replied

Omnivorous

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Posts: 3986

From: Adirondackia

Joined: 07-21-2005

Member Rating: 7.1

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Message 508 of 647 (595173)
12-07-2010 7:13 AM

Recent Exiles from the Garden?

There are lots of funny parodies of creationist interpretations of the discovery that some skinks have begun to bear live young in the "Evolution has been caught in the act: lizard moving from egg to live birth" thread. You'll have to peek through to see them, because evolutionists wittily commenting on what creationists might make of these skinks is off-topic.

I'm surprised that no one grasped the simplest creationist explanation: those skinks ate from the wrong tree, offended God, and now must bear their young in pain and sorrow. They should watch the males to see if they sweat at their labor or plant corn.

And if you see a skink in the pet shop with a peculiar mark that makes you extraordinarily reluctant to kill it, buy it.

You'll be raising Cain.

Dost thou prate, rogue?
-Cassio

Real things always push back.
-William James

Replies to this message:
	Message 510 by ringo, posted 12-07-2010 12:50 PM		Omnivorous has not replied

Panda

Member (Idle past 3738 days)

Posts: 2688

From: UK

Joined: 10-04-2010

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Message 509 of 647 (595184)
12-07-2010 9:07 AM

Dead or no dead...

This might be a UK only joke :S

ringo

Member (Idle past 437 days)

Posts: 20940

From: frozen wasteland

Joined: 03-23-2005

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(1)

Message 510 of 647 (595209)
12-07-2010 12:50 PM

Reply to: Message 508 by Omnivorous
12-07-2010 7:13 AM

Re: Recent Exiles from the Garden?

Children in a Sunday School class were asked to draw a picture of their favourite Bible story. One young fellow drew a car with a man and woman in the back seat. The teacher was a little puzzled and asked, "What Bible story is this?"

The boy replied, "That's Adam and Eve being driven from the Garden of Eden."

"I see," the teacher said, "And who's this in the front seat?"

"That's Pontius, the pilot."

"I'm Rory Bellows, I tell you! And I got a lot of corroborating evidence... over here... by the throttle!"

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	Message 508 by Omnivorous, posted 12-07-2010 7:13 AM		Omnivorous has not replied

Replies to this message:
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