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Author Topic:   Humor V
onifre
Member
Posts: 4833
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008
Member Rating: 6.5


Message 586 of 647 (600315)
01-13-2011 10:22 PM
Reply to: Message 584 by Trae
01-12-2011 4:05 AM


Re: If you, like me, hate Bill Donahue...
Have you received any reviews from people who actually haven't seen your act?

No not really. Actually that's not true. I sent a headshot & bio to a booker who ended up never booking me. I found out later the reason why he didn't book me was that he felt I didn't "look" funny.

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 584 by Trae, posted 01-12-2011 4:05 AM Trae has responded

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member
Posts: 4833
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008
Member Rating: 6.5


(1)
Message 587 of 647 (601135)
01-18-2011 10:03 PM


Funny for those in the over 85%
So, probably just funny to me and xong.

- Oni


Replies to this message:
 Message 589 by xongsmith, posted 01-19-2011 5:25 PM onifre has acknowledged this reply
 Message 590 by cavediver, posted 01-19-2011 5:50 PM onifre has acknowledged this reply

  
Stile
Member
Posts: 2293
From: Ontario, Canada
Joined: 12-02-2004
Member Rating: 4.1


Message 588 of 647 (601233)
01-19-2011 10:51 AM


Religion is like a Penis
Religion is like a Penis

"It can be very nice to have one.
You can even be proud of it and stand in awe of it's size and power.
Just don't whip it out in public or try to shove it down anyone else's throat."

-unknown (or, at least, I'm too lazy for any attempt to look it up)


Replies to this message:
 Message 593 by dwise1, posted 01-21-2011 12:40 AM Stile has acknowledged this reply

  
xongsmith
Member
Posts: 1332
From: massachusetts US
Joined: 01-01-2009
Member Rating: 6.3


Message 589 of 647 (601291)
01-19-2011 5:25 PM
Reply to: Message 587 by onifre
01-18-2011 10:03 PM


Re: Funny for those in the over 85%
I have dial-up and yesterday a 2:44 minute video took over 4 hours to load & play.

4:35 will still be chugging away when I get back from my promotion of my folk career at the open mike in Gardner, MA - if i start it now. Maybe kick it in for an overnight run. Hope I dont forget a comma in the JCL deck (old code warrior joke).


- xongsmith, 5.7d
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cavediver
Member
Posts: 4129
From: UK
Joined: 06-16-2005


Message 590 of 647 (601294)
01-19-2011 5:50 PM
Reply to: Message 587 by onifre
01-18-2011 10:03 PM


Re: Funny for those in the over 85%
Love it

I'll see if I can dig out my favourite voice-overs for you.... watch this space


This message is a reply to:
 Message 587 by onifre, posted 01-18-2011 10:03 PM onifre has acknowledged this reply

subbie
Member
Posts: 3301
Joined: 02-26-2006
Member Rating: 6.2


Message 591 of 647 (601301)
01-19-2011 6:24 PM


There's nothing worse than a life wasted

From PZ.


Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson

We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat

It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate

...creationists have a great way to detect fraud and it doesn't take 8 or 40 years or even a scientific degree to spot the fraud--'if it disagrees with the bible then it is wrong'.... -- archaeologist


Trae
Member (Idle past 585 days)
Posts: 442
From: Fremont, CA, USA
Joined: 06-18-2004


Message 592 of 647 (601469)
01-20-2011 6:42 PM
Reply to: Message 586 by onifre
01-13-2011 10:22 PM


Re: If you, like me, hate Bill Donahue...
onifre writes:

Have you received any reviews from people who actually haven't seen your act?

No not really. Actually that's not true. I sent a headshot & bio to a booker who ended up never booking me. I found out later the reason why he didn't book me was that he felt I didn't "look" funny.

- Oni

Well, hell, maybe we can help you out with a forum poll. I'm sure you'd get some funny-looking votes. ;-)

Last night I was watching a few x comedian vs random heckler videos on youtube. Do you have any favorite responses?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 586 by onifre, posted 01-13-2011 10:22 PM onifre has not yet responded

dwise1
Member
Posts: 2049
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 3.6


(1)
Message 593 of 647 (601523)
01-21-2011 12:40 AM
Reply to: Message 588 by Stile
01-19-2011 10:51 AM


Re: Religion is like a Penis
Yet another good one I won't ever be able to use. Like my favorite Redd Foxx line from an old "blue" party record he had made in the 50's or early 60's:
quote:
I swear to God and three other white men, ...

Only other routine I remember from hearing that album back in 1970 (paraphrased from memory, of course):

quote:
An old couple was sitting listening to the radio and a preacher came on announcing, "I can heal tonight! If you have some part that ails you, put one hand on the radio, your other hand on the part that ails you, and join us in singing 'Wade in the Water'!"

The old woman placed one hand on the radio, the other on her tired heart, and starting singing. The old man figured, "What the hell. I got nothing to lose.", placed one hand on the radio and slipped the other hand down to his lap and started singing along. The old woman saw this and said, "Abner! He said he could heal, not raise the dead!"



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Artemis Entreri 
Suspended Member (Idle past 507 days)
Posts: 1194
From: Northern Virginia
Joined: 07-08-2008


Message 594 of 647 (601559)
01-21-2011 12:50 PM
Reply to: Message 15 by onifre
04-24-2010 4:38 PM


Re: Greg Giraldo & Lazyboy
that was good though ironic he bitches about prescription meds and then ODs himself on them.

------

"Here lays an athiest all dressed up and noplace to go."


This message is a reply to:
 Message 15 by onifre, posted 04-24-2010 4:38 PM onifre has not yet responded

Percy
Member
Posts: 12805
From: New Hampshire
Joined: 12-23-2000
Member Rating: 4.8


Message 595 of 647 (601621)
01-22-2011 8:03 AM


Earth to have Two Suns
See this brief article from The Telegraph - it was the 8th article down at Google News: 'Second sun' on its way

The humor is in the comments.

--Percy


Replies to this message:
 Message 596 by Panda, posted 01-22-2011 10:57 AM Percy has acknowledged this reply
 Message 597 by bluescat48, posted 01-22-2011 1:47 PM Percy has acknowledged this reply

  
Panda
Member
Posts: 2688
From: UK
Joined: 10-04-2010


Message 596 of 647 (601625)
01-22-2011 10:57 AM
Reply to: Message 595 by Percy
01-22-2011 8:03 AM


Re: Earth to have Two Suns
The Telegraph should know better than to repeat anything that the Daily Mail reports.
The only thing that out-weighs the Daily Mail's ignorance is their racism.
(They once claimed that black holes should 'go home'.)
This message is a reply to:
 Message 595 by Percy, posted 01-22-2011 8:03 AM Percy has acknowledged this reply

bluescat48
Member (Idle past 468 days)
Posts: 2347
From: United States
Joined: 10-06-2007


Message 597 of 647 (601635)
01-22-2011 1:47 PM
Reply to: Message 595 by Percy
01-22-2011 8:03 AM


Re: Earth to have Two Suns
It just goes to show that a "little knowledge" can be dangerous.


There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002

Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969

Since Evolution is only ~90% correct it should be thrown out and replaced by Creation which has even a lower % of correctness. W T Young, 2008


This message is a reply to:
 Message 595 by Percy, posted 01-22-2011 8:03 AM Percy has acknowledged this reply

  
Artemis Entreri 
Suspended Member (Idle past 507 days)
Posts: 1194
From: Northern Virginia
Joined: 07-08-2008


Message 598 of 647 (602020)
01-25-2011 4:11 PM


hilarious to me, but probably not alot of others here.

Edited by Admin, : Fix embedded video.


Replies to this message:
 Message 599 by nwr, posted 01-25-2011 4:22 PM Artemis Entreri has not yet responded
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nwr
Member
Posts: 5107
From: Geneva, Illinois
Joined: 08-08-2005
Member Rating: 5.0


Message 599 of 647 (602024)
01-25-2011 4:22 PM
Reply to: Message 598 by Artemis Entreri
01-25-2011 4:11 PM


Artemis Entreri writes:

hilarious to me, but probably not alot of others here.


Yes, it's hilarious to me. I'm laughing at the fact that you borked the embed and showed a blank screen.


Jesus was a liberal hippie
This message is a reply to:
 Message 598 by Artemis Entreri, posted 01-25-2011 4:11 PM Artemis Entreri has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
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jar
Member
Posts: 24504
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 600 of 647 (602025)
01-25-2011 4:25 PM
Reply to: Message 599 by nwr
01-25-2011 4:22 PM


nwr writes:

Artemis Entreri writes:

hilarious to me, but probably not alot of others here.


Yes, it's hilarious to me. I'm laughing at the fact that you borked the embed and showed a blank screen.

Which actually had more content then the video.


Anyone so limited that they can only spell a word one way is severely handicapped!
This message is a reply to:
 Message 599 by nwr, posted 01-25-2011 4:22 PM nwr has acknowledged this reply

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