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Author | Topic: Gender and Humor | |||||||||||||||||||||||
aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Hello everyone. I've been reading this forum for ages but registered because I really wanted to post on this thread...
Some Brit dames I find very funny - Jennifer Saunders, Josie Lawrence, Caroline Quentin and Linda Smith (sadly no longer with us). The sketch show 'Smack the Pony', written by and starring Doon Mackichan, Fiona Allen, Sally Phillips and Sarah Alexander, was brilliant. One of my favourite sitcoms, Green Wing, was written by a team led by Victoria Pile and included some great female comedy performances, including from Michelle Gomez, Pippa Haywood and Tamsin Grieg. I'm going to throw in a Finn too - Sandi Toksvig is ace. The best female stand-up comedian I've seen was probably Jo Caulfield. Other popular female stand-ups in Britain include Victoria Wood, Jo Brand and Jenny Eclair, but I'm not a huge fan of any of them. I've not seen much live stand-up but most that I have seen (by men and women), apart from the occasional big name like Bill Bailey and Bill Hicks, has been buttock-clenchingly bad. Maybe because it's often very self-referential, and I prefer the more obtuse, surreal stuff.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
hey, thank you for the welcome
I'm female and a Brit but not a comedian/actress, just someone who has, at times, watched too much TV...
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Yep, scared! I found this site via the wonderful Fundies Say the Darndest Things, and I really enjoy reading the evolution/creation debate etc - this is easily the best science'n'religion debate site I've encountered.
I have learned loads from this site, but I don't feel that my scientific background is strong enough to meaningfully contribute to any great extent. Maybe one day.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
So the humour a group of men would use to define and exclude an outgroup would not be defined as bitchiness then?
For what it's worth, I feel motivated to form friendships with people who are kind and have a sense of humour that sparks with mine. I would not wish to spend any time with anyone (male or female) who's bitchy - for a start, they could not be trusted. Those who feel an overiding pressure to join in with a dominant group/avoid an 'undesirable' group might feel differently. For me friendships are about individual connections, not group membership.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
I like my humour a bit weirder than that but have to admit to laughing a great deal at the bit when David Mitchell had a typewriter thrown at him from offscreen in the last (?) series of That Mitchell and Webb Look. It's different, though, when you know it's not a real typewriter.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
People like Eddie Izzard and Bill Bailey aren't most people's idea of top totty to look at either, but both are very appealing to women. Being funny in their wildly imaginative but gentle way is worth a lot in its own right, but it also suggests that they're a) very clever and b) good-natured.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
I can only speak for myself and my closer female friends, but humour is extremely important in our romantic relationships as well as our friendships with either sex. I truly don't understand how two people who don't laugh at the same kind of things AND make each other laugh, a lot, can build a really close bond.
Maybe humour is a powerful bond-forming agent from an evolutionary perspective because when you're doubled up with laughter you are in a vulnerable state... reaching a point where you can drop your guard with others helps to build trust...? I forgot to give my five favourite funny films. Several have already been mentioned: AirplaneSouth Park Bigger, Longer, Uncut Life of Brian (all other Python films are high on the list too) This is Spinal Tap Meet the Feebles (Peter Jackson's wonderful low-budget puppet splatterfest, before he went all serious with LoTR).
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Important Note to Self: Be intelligent and good-natured around women, and I might finally get lucky one of these days! And borrow your avatar's sexy outfit Edited by aiki, : working out how to do quotes...
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Women are attractive, that's how they get men to have sex with them. Men on the other hand are usually not very attractive, we had to come up with ways to attract females. Funny seemed to do it; funny guys get laid. If you're a guy and you're not funny, chances are you'll be very unsuccessful with women. However, if you're a woman and you're unattractive, chances are you won't be very successful with men. This may shock you, but for heterosexual women, men are attractive to look at. Not all of them by any means, but lots of them. Physical attraction is kind of necessary if you're going to have any motivation to go to bed with someone, especially if that's all you're planning to do with them. However, if you're looking for/hoping for a relationship rather than just a quick bunk-up, then you'll look a bit more deeply than appearances, and attributes like being funny become more important. In my experience, that works for men as well as women. None of my male friends have relationships with humourless, boring women, however attractive. They might have slept with some, but the women they fall in love with and settle down with are the ones with whom they can relax, laugh, be themselves.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Thanks for your reply. I know you wrote you are only speaking for yourself and close female friends, but if humor is SO powerful a bonding-agent, then ultimately, why doesn't it seem more reciprocal? This thread hardly represents all men all over the world, but it does seem to indicate that woman (as perceived by men) are not as funny as men. That would SEEM to indicate that humor is LESS important to a male-female relationship. I do think there is some sexism involved. Someone upthread posted how he dreads seeing a female stand-up coming onto stage, having decided before she even opens her mouth what she's likely to talk about and that it won't be funny. That's quite a lot of resistance for her to overcome. The popular 'how to force a man to marry you' book 'The Rules' apparently discourages its readers from being funny. You can laugh at his jokes, but whatever you do don't make any jokes of your own, it's unladylike. I'm just glad that that's not my experience. I'd feel really inadequate in a relationship if I didn't make my boyfriend laugh as much as he does me. Happily, that's never happened.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Orrr, . . . perhaps THIS can be the concluding statement to my thread. Thanks for sharing aiki. I'm sorry, I was being a bit flippant But it does really baffle me when men don't seem to acknowledge that straight woman = someone who finds men physically attractive.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
What women find physically attractive about men - Less so. Yes the Brad Pitts and G.Clooneys of this world are obviously female friendly. But a lot of the time men stare in bemusement at the choices blatantly attractive women make. Well, that's obviously down to penis size Really, though, I feel the same way. There are plenty of supposedly highly desirable women in the public eye whose appeal is a mystery to me. Plenty more whose appeal is quite apparent, of course.
I sometimes think you don't get the true depths of our shallowness Oh, I do. Because I share it But physical attraction, however knee-buckling, is not enough on its own to form the basis of a decent relationship. If you can't consider your partner a true friend, with whom you can laugh, cry and all the rest of it, are you not wasting your time as well as theirs? Maybe some men are content to settle for just the attraction? I think women may be better than men at managing their attractions. Most women will start to appreciate a man's looks more when they click with him personality-wise, though I'd still argue that you need to like his looks at least a bit, right from the start. Likewise, many women are good at 'unfancying' a man if they discover he is unsuitable for whatever reason (perhaps he's already married, is gay or is an arse).
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Jeez you need more male friends. MOST of my friend"s women are boring and annoying as fuck! Seriously, I'm not trying to be funny at all. I can stand to be around very few of them. That doesn't sound like much fun... Do your friends find their women boring and annoying as fuck too, but don't leave them for whatever reason? Do they know that you don't like their women? Do you like your friends' other male friends? I really like all my boyfriend's friends, and he likes mine too. That seems normal and predictable to me - his friends have things in common with him and mine do with me, so there's a good chance most of us will get on.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
ALL men find women annoying and boring, that's why we have male friends. ALL women find men crass, slow, shallow, unimaginative, dull, and useless at everything apart from DIY and sperm donation. ALL of them, every last one, no exceptions. Obviously I know this, being a woman
Cool. But he still finds your female friends boring and annoying, trust me. I'd sooner trust him, but thanks
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aiki Member (Idle past 4283 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Sex in the City does suck balls! Big hairy ones. If you're basing your assessment of women on the ones who are Sex in the City fans, I begin to see where you are coming from...
I think you might need to remember that people are different, though, at almost all levels (good thing too!). As you say, it's all subjective. Based on your characterisation of men, I think you would find my non-drinking, sport-hating, very-interested-in-lots-of-different-things boyfriend quite difficult to relate to Edited by aiki, : added a bit
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