Shouldn't Churches Learn from Deconversion Stories?

You're so cool! I dont suppose I've read anything like this before.-----------------------------------------
Green Bay Packers jersey Edited by AdminModulous, : spam

What about the need for belief? To me, belief is hope. Reassurance. I'll admit, however, that it can be fantasy. My hope is that my belief does not conflict with known logic, reason, and reality.

I would be lying if I said I didn't know folks for whom atheism was just one aspect of a seemingly packaged ideology.That doesn't mean atheism is, in and of itself, anything more than a simple conclusion that there are no gods.I stop short of declaring myself an atheist, because for me it is too "certain" of a declaration. But when you boil it down, I seriously doubt there is any intelligence driving the universe, much less responsible for it.

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1. Would it benefit churches and evangelists to learn why Christians of their own persuasion deconvert?

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I believe so. However, this assumes that they might be capable of objectively analyzing whatever the "deconvert" might have to say.Years ago, I went to a couple of churches with some family and friends that were, to me, frightening. Had I been a member and left, I'd have said things like "trying to terrify children with a 'Hell House' as an alternative to trick-or-treating on Halloween is just disgusting, to me. Your message is one of fear, not of grace. If God is real, and is a God of Love, you are doing him a great disservice." I doubt such a critique would be analyzed with any sort of rigor by those folks.A few times, I also attended a church which was deeply "Biblical" as opposed to worship focused, and as a result the sermons were more concerned with proving the literal nature of the Bible as opposed to the existence of God within our lives. Anyone with a semblance of education would be able to dismiss much of what was "covered" in these sermons (designed to validate the biblical Flood, the Young Earth, etc) and there is no way I would have stayed there. Again, that particular congregation, and that leadership, would most likely not be interested in anything I might have to say about leaving, or anyone else for that matter.Couple that with the fact that many of these churches honestly believe that Satan is in play, and anything that might come up in opposition to their teachings can be assigned to that bogey man, you have another excuse for them to ignore the observations of those who leave.

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2. Should churches and evangelists try to learn what they're doing wrong from deconverts and try to correct their methods accordingly?

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From the perspective of attempting to grow the numbers of any particular church, sure. However, many churches (for example the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) claim significant growth... rooted, of course, in the Third World. I believe in the religious free market. Let these churches die out, if it is because they just can't hold on to people with a modicum of common sense. Remarkably, I think some denominations (like the Roman Catholics) are doing Okay, considering their (present) willingness to accept scientific truth.

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3. How would churches make up for the current lack of departure interviews?

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I don't know about you, but if I chose to leave a church (and the social connections, infrastructure and support systems that entails) I might be more concerned with keeping my head down than doing a "departure interview". Consider the social awkwardness of such a thing.What Churches should do is devote time and energy to researching why people leave (there are plenty of open source forums on the internet, for example) and make their decisions. Ultimately, it is up to the Churches to change their teachings or culture (or not). If they don't survive, it is essentially "the market" sorting itself our.Belief is a funny thing. When it comes to Christian Churches, you have congregations to measure. What about all the "spiritualist" movements that gain and lose followers on a daily basis? How many of people you know wear magnetic bracelets to adjust their "life energy" or some such silliness? It's not just the Churches that experience and ebb and flow of "converts", it's just more apparent, I think.

Other than the trinity, none of the things you cite are core beliefs of Christianity, and surely some science-minded churches wouldn't carry around all that baggage. Do any significant number of non-Catholics buy into papal infallibility? Heck, many so-called Christians will tell you that Catholicism is a cult.Churches are not likely to change their core message and character but I have seen some fundamentalists Churches back off on some of their more silly, non-Biblical rituals and practices, particularly when they notices that all of the younger members have bolted.Edited by NoNukes, : No reason given.Edited by NoNukes, : No reason given.

It all boils down to the core message that is agreed upon.

Upon reexamining this topic, I note that it asks good questions.What can I (we) learn from talking with people who once believed as I do yet moved on? Ultimately, by examining the faith (or lack of) among others, we can learn more about ourselves.

I don't know how much we can help. The statement about having to choose between honesty and faith is very close to my own experience. I, too, was in my early 20's sitting in the same family pew that I had sat in since I was 2 weeks old. I finally had to admit to myself that I was like someone at a marionette show being asked to pretend that there were no strings.Once I was out of the house and on my own, I just quit going to church. I felt dishonest pretending to believe in something I no longer believed. I think my family could see it in my face, and in the 20 years since they have never really pushed me for an answer as to why I no longer attend. I think they know the answer. However, it hasn't change my relationship at all with the rest of my family for which I count myself lucky. Others have been pushed away from their families after they left the faith of their family.

My family all have their individual beliefs, and we never let our beliefs get in the way of our love for each other.I would not call my experience in life de-conversion so much as I see it as reconversion. I believe the way I do through introspection, comparing beliefs with reality, and to a degree through what I hope is true.

So conversion is like evolution - it has no direction.

Hopefully, we evolve every day. I prefer to think of it as recreation. (RE-Creation.)I have learned a lot from many different people----especially the ones with whom I disagree. You can't learn much in a room full of sheeple(one of Buzsaws favorite words )I realize full well that many of my beliefs are illogical and don't make a lot of sense. There are two reasons I hold on to them.1) Its a heart issue, not a rational logical mind issue. Im in a love affair with the Creator of all seen and unseen.2) The experiences that I have had confirm my bias towards belief.

That's why I don't go to church any more.

We are called believers and not knowers for a reason.Knowers are entirely evidence based. If they don't know---they will not bother with belief.Another element of deconversion has to do with how well you accept and/or bond with the group. Its not always about rejecting the belief in God...sometimes its rejecting the mindset of the people in the group.

That's wrong. When we don't know, belief is a backup. Unfortunately, "True Believers" sometimes put belief ahead of the knowledge they do have. In my case, I don't think there ever was a belief in God to reject.