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Author Topic:   The Awesome Republican Primary Thread
Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(2)
Message 1 of 1485 (621678)
06-27-2011 11:39 PM


This is a thread for all things concerned with the struggle to be the Republican nominee for President, because it promises to be quite funny even without Donald Trump. We miss you, Donald.
First, a complete and occasionally accurate guide to the main contenders. They are in alphabetical order, which serves them right.
Michelle Bachmann. Either the dumbest person in the world or a gifted performance artist. Beloved by the insane wing of the Republican Party, because she is insane, and by liberals for exactly the same reason. Started her official campaign by claiming to be possessed by the spirit of a serial-killer clown, which she probably is.
Herman Cain. Pizza mogul. Has never held political office. Main advantage: being an Afro-American. Main disadvantage: being One Of Them Black Nigras. Appears to be completely bonkers, putting him in with a chance.
Newt Gingrich. Noted for committing adultery while demanding that Bill Clinton should resign for ... what was it? Worshiping graven idols? Not keeping the Sabbath holy? Oh, I remember now, it was committing adultery. Newt's explanation for his behavior is that he's hard-working and patriotic. No, really. According to him: "There’s no question that at times in my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard, and that things happened in my life that were not appropriate."
John Huntsman. He's a Mormon and he worked for the Obama administration, making him a member of two sinister anti-Jesus cults. Probably the Anti-Christ but then who isn't these days? Apparently intelligent, moderate, competent, honest, and wildly popular as Governor of Utah, he seems to me to be the best of the bunch. Which isn't to say that I want him to be the nominee. Go Michelle!
Gary Johnson. Former Governor of New Mexico. Like Ron Paul, only less likely to die before you finish reading this paragraph. Has climbed Mount Everest, making him the best candidate at climbing things.
Sarah Palin. Hooray! Because she couldn't handle the pressure of being Governor of snow and polar bears, she now wants to be President. Her chief advantages are two. First, people have heard of her. Second, when she was the VP candidate in 2008 Republicans had to pretend that she wasn't completely worthless, and some of them began to believe it. Not as funny as Michelle Bachmann.
Ron Paul. Engagingly crazy libertarian. Wants to repeal drug laws, abolish income tax, go back on the gold standard, have an isolationist foreign policy, and pretty much reduce the legitimate activities of the federal government to declaring war, which he wouldn't. A man of principles, most of them wrong, and completely unelectable by mainstream Republicans. Noted for how fucking annoying his followers are.
Tim Pawlenty. I don't know who he is either. Oh all right then, he used to be Governor of Minnesota. No person named Tim will ever rise to any position of greatness.
Buddy Roemer. Former Governor of Louisiana, he became a Republican in 1991, lost the Republican nomination for Governor, and hasn't held political office for the past two decades. Apparently running for President just for the heck of it.
Mitt Romney. In 2000, Republicans thought Bush was better than McCain. In 2008, they thought McCain was better than Romney. So Romney is the guy who isn't as good as the guy who isn't as good as Bush. Naturally he's considered the front-runner, because ... why? He is a Mormon, which means that he has lots of crazy irrational beliefs, which worries the Republican base, who have lots of different crazy irrational beliefs. He is tainted by introducing universal health care while Governor of Massachusetts, thus raising fears that he might be a halfway-decent human being.
Rick Santorum. How shall I put this? If you asked a liberal Hollywood screenwriter to invent a Republican politician, this is what he'd come up with. Except the bit where he called for "tougher penalties" for hurricane victims, which would be considered somewhat far-fetched even by Hollywood standards. He is rumored to blight the very earth he walks on so that no flower will ever bloom there again, and to kill puppies by thinking about them.
I shall keep you updated with more semi-information throughout the campaign. In the meantime, let's have your thoughts on the candidates and what objects you would most like to hurl at them.
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.

Replies to this message:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 8 of 1485 (621757)
06-28-2011 6:00 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by ZenMonkey
06-28-2011 1:46 PM


Except for being so kind to Michelle Bachmann by playing down the fact that she's a crazy as a carnival run by crack-addicted chimpanzees, you seem to be right on target.
Don't knock the crack chimps, they're doing a good job with that carnival.
Some information on Bachmann. Golly, is she ever right about anything?
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 21 of 1485 (621968)
06-29-2011 7:13 PM
Reply to: Message 13 by Jon
06-29-2011 4:56 PM


The only question is: What's on the other side of the fence?
A guy who is presumably a shoe-in for his party's nomination.
Don't worry, there will eventually be an Even More Awesome Presidential Election Thread, but for now it's all about the Republicans.

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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 33 of 1485 (622253)
07-01-2011 9:21 PM
Reply to: Message 27 by hooah212002
06-30-2011 1:41 PM


Re: No local Conservatives???
Well apparently Republicans don't like the Republican field very much.
Full results here. Note that they did specifically ask about Perry, Pawlenty, Santorum, Palin and Paul, who have been put in the wastepaperbasket of "other" because they only got 1%. Along with John McCain, who got 2% despite (a) being too darn old (b) losing last time (c) not being in the race.
I shall add an entry for Rick Perry when I know something about him.
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.

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Replies to this message:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 36 of 1485 (622264)
07-02-2011 12:05 AM
Reply to: Message 34 by ZenMonkey
07-01-2011 11:07 PM


Perry
Well, he's not officially in the race yet.
I looked for one decent thing that he's done and he is in favor of HPV vaccination. So his support for cancer is less than total. Good luck finding a second redeeming feature.
He's against evolution, the Sixteenth Amendment, and sodomy, all of which are good things which deserve our support --- apart from sodomy which is doing fine on its own.

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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 41 of 1485 (622685)
07-05-2011 11:49 PM
Reply to: Message 40 by Artemis Entreri
07-05-2011 10:56 PM


I like Ron Paul, I voted for him in 2008.
I like Ron Paul, I just wouldn't want him to be President of any country I happen to be living in.
If I could vote for him to be President of Turkmenistan, that would be a different matter.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 40 by Artemis Entreri, posted 07-05-2011 10:56 PM Artemis Entreri has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 43 by Artemis Entreri, posted 07-06-2011 7:56 AM Dr Adequate has replied

  
Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 44 of 1485 (622731)
07-06-2011 8:23 AM
Reply to: Message 43 by Artemis Entreri
07-06-2011 7:56 AM


I didn't even realize you were American.
I wasn't and I'm not but I will be. To be less gnomic, I am English by birth but have emigrated to America and will eventually be naturalized. Hence my interest in American politics: I am not eligible to vote, but am permitted to heckle.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
 Message 45 by Artemis Entreri, posted 07-06-2011 8:27 AM Dr Adequate has replied

  
Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 46 of 1485 (622748)
07-06-2011 9:57 AM
Reply to: Message 45 by Artemis Entreri
07-06-2011 8:27 AM


what region did you decide to settle in?
Nevada.
its okay voting here is kind of a waste of time.
That's exactly what King George III said, but would you listen?
OFF TOPIC
AdminPD
Edited by AdminPD, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 48 of 1485 (622863)
07-06-2011 11:42 PM


Bring Back The Blimp
Ron Paul supporters are trying to raise funds to bring back the wonder that was the Ron Paul blimp.
Filled with heliumy goodness
Because their candidate is best represented by an antiquated gasbag with a tendency to crash and burn ... heh, just kidding. We love you Ron.
Actually I think all candidates should have blimps. They could race them.
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.

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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 53 of 1485 (626068)
07-26-2011 11:28 PM


Michele Bachman With A Llama
Typical politician, shilling for the camelid vote.

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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 70 of 1485 (628427)
08-09-2011 1:38 PM
Reply to: Message 64 by Artemis Entreri
08-08-2011 11:04 PM


Re: Perry - Intellectual Heavyweight?
really? the guy that messed up Kosovo, The Balkans war ...
Maybe time has clouded my memory, but I was under the impression that we ... y'know ... won that one.
the guy that wanted to flex his government muscles by attacking eccentric isolationists, at Ruby Ridge, and Waco Texas (where his fed death squad murdered 73 innocent american citizens, who were mostly women and children)?
* sighs *
The Special Counsel [former Republican Senator John Danforth] noted, by contrast, that recorded interceptions of Davidian conversations included such statements as David said we have to get the fuel on and So we light it first when they come in with the tank right . . . right as they’re coming in. Davidians who survived the fire acknowledged that other Davidians started the fire. FBI agents witnessed Davidians pouring fuel and igniting a fire, and noted these observations contemporaneously. Lab analysis found accelerants on the clothing of Davidians, and investigators found deliberately punctured fuel cans and a homemade torch at the site. Based on this evidence and testimony, the Special Counsel concluded that the fire was started by the Davidians.
... and he was busy invading Texas ...
It's not actually a foreign country.
OFF TOPIC
AdminPD
Edited by AdminPD, : No reason given.

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Replies to this message:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(1)
Message 71 of 1485 (628430)
08-09-2011 1:42 PM
Reply to: Message 67 by jar
08-09-2011 9:46 AM


Re: Perry - Intellectual Heavyweight?
Interesting, glad you expressed your opinion, but did you actually use the term "sheeple"?
It's a term used by paranoid lunatics for people who aren't paranoid lunatics. It's intended to imply that the underlying cause of their failure to believe mad things is mindless conformity rather than not being mad.
E.g:
David Icke explains how the panic-stricken elite are desperate to put the lid back on a global awakening that is stalling their agenda for world domination.reptile demons in parallel universes have interbred with humans and created human lizard hybrids that run the planet.The sheeple are unable to change - this is because of the Transmigration of the Soul - which is not reincarnation but an imprinting. Truth which is what David is trying to convey is but for the few - it is called esoteric evolution - or the fourth way and it extremely difficult to achieve. So for the masses it's tough luck.
OFF TOPIC
AdminPD
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(2)
Message 73 of 1485 (628483)
08-09-2011 11:22 PM
Reply to: Message 72 by Artemis Entreri
08-09-2011 5:22 PM


Re: Perry - Intellectual Heavyweight?
oh you mean the 1st special counsel ever ...
Technically, yes, since it was called the Office of the Independent Counsel until 1999 ...
... and one appointed by Janet Reno herself. I'm sure he was very objective and unbiased [sarcasm].
Well, he was a Republican.
oh you mean those same FBI agents that lied under oath?
I don't know if they were the same ones; and in this instance their story is confirmed by the surviving Davidians.
the same thing was said of Jews who escaped the holocaust.
That sentence was such a bizarre non sequitur that I am not sure what you're trying to be wrong about.
OFF TOPIC
AdminPD
Edited by AdminPD, : No reason given.

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Replies to this message:
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(2)
Message 76 of 1485 (628534)
08-10-2011 8:56 AM
Reply to: Message 74 by Artemis Entreri
08-10-2011 7:51 AM


Re: Perry - Intellectual Heavyweight?
there are also survivors who say the Feds started the fire. you found a *** fed organization ...
Ah, right, the organisation tells lies.
Well on that basis it would be hard to find one that doesn't.
... and one survivor to corroborate your side, big deal.
One survivor who's so important that he takes the plural. Also he has several different names, such as Renos Avraam, Clive Doyle, and Graeme Craddock.
Then there's the tapes of what was happening in the compound, and the reports of the arson investigators ...
predictable side step.
It might indeed "be "predictable" that I couldn't make sense of that sentence, but it is in no way a side-step".
A little googling around shows that there is in fact a link between the word "sheeple" and Holocaust survivors, namely that that epithet has been applied to people who believe Holocaust survivors. For example.
I sha'n't quote this because I don't want to get holocaust denial on these forums. It doesn't wash off.
So, sheeple are people who believe that the Holocaust happened but don't believe in David Icke's lizard men. Sounds good to me.
OFF TOPIC
AdminPD
Edited by AdminPD, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
 Message 79 by Artemis Entreri, posted 08-10-2011 10:40 AM Dr Adequate has replied

  
Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 274 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(2)
Message 94 of 1485 (628568)
08-10-2011 2:07 PM
Reply to: Message 79 by Artemis Entreri
08-10-2011 10:40 AM


Re: Perry - Intellectual Heavyweight?
Let me break it down for you, even though I’m sure I will have to repeat myself 10 times anyway.
The holocaust started in the 1930s.
Some Jews escaped, and told others in the outside world of the atrocities.
No one wanted to believe them, and they were accused of elaborating the situation, starting conspiracy theories, and being anti-german.
When you stated that sheeple is a term that is intended to imply that the underlying cause of their failure to believe mad things is mindless conformity rather than not being mad.
I said the same thing was said of Jews who escaped the holocaust.
You didn’t understand, or something.
Some people thought that some Jews were lars. What this has to do with the word "sheeple" is obscure, except that the word is used by people who still think that they were lars to describe the people who don't.
That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. But to insinuate it is mine is nothing more than a weak strawman, as I said nothing of the sort.
Of course, I insinuated nothing of the sort, so maybe you would have done better not to use the term "straw man" at that point. What I say is that that is how the word is actually used --- i.e. by loonies, to denote non-loonies.
OFF TOPIC
AdminPD
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.
Edited by AdminPD, : No reason given.

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