Edited by rueh, : ? I don't know what happened there
'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat' The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff
'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat' The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff
Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith
"Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. To be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." - Conan O'Brien
"I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose
In the spirit of Vanessa's failed evolution analogy of self-modifying computer programs and Rueh's tribute to Douglas Adams, I hereby present Mr. Adams' short treatise on Robot Sex that I had gleaned from the Web several years ago (ie, source long forgotten):
quote:The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy--Robot Sex
What was not obvious to most life forms and could be considered one of the Universe's best kept secrets is the fact that robots and computers can enjoy a healthy sex life. Computers have often been connected together in the light of the improved performance. This is not due to shared resources, the truth of the matter being that they perform better because they are more relaxed and satisfied after a good bout of interfacing. Robots have often wondered why it's never been taken up in life form work places in place of say, a coffee break. Considering the poor quality of coffee available in such workplaces, this has always been a mystery. Still, the robots don't let on as it gives them another reason to snigger. As with most functions performed by computers and robots, a complete set of jargon words have been devised to confuse the layman. A basic translation list now follows (all those of a nervous or prudish disposition, or those who just want to get on with the story, should skip this section).
Interface - Sex (The thought of a man to machine interface is repulsive to most devices) Terminals - Breasts Twin floppy disks - Breasts Joystick - Penis (It is often queried why there are two names for breasts and only one for penis, but only by very stupid people) User defined function - Sexual act (usually kinky) Stand alone - Wanker Cluster - Group sex Replication - Conception Firewall - Contraception Handshaking - Foreplay Baud rate - Level of boredom Cursor device - Unwilling partner SCSI - Easy lay USB - Mythological easy lay PEEK - Voyeurism POKE - Sexually inquisitive GOSUB - Oral sex INPUT - Down to business LOAD - Really down to business Full duplex - Frantic lovemaking Syntax error - Premature ejaculation Hyperbolic function - Male orgasm Graphic display - Female orgasm
'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is proud to offer a confidential counselling service for all sexually frustrated or troubled devices. Interface with us and half your problems are solved.'
Share and enjoy! (or, when those three-mile-high letters sank into the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's upper levels, the remaining half of those letters spelled out, "Go stick your head in a pig")
The following is a short clip from a Danish news/opinion/debate/whatever show. Its our current Prime Minister, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, on the right and comedian Anders "The Duck" Matthesen on the left.
quote:Specifically, Michael Bloomberg has announced his intention to pass a law restricting restaurants, movie theaters and sports arenas from selling sugary sodas in sizes larger than 16 fluid ounces
A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ― Edward R. Murrow
"Yeah, I know. I'm guilty. I understand that. I knew it was a crime, and I did it anyways. Shit, why argue? I'm a fucking criminal, look at me." - Raoul Duke
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