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Author
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Topic: Humour VII
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Coragyps
Member (Idle past 753 days) Posts: 5553 From: Snyder, Texas, USA Joined: 11-12-2002
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Message 811 of 1042 (701098)
06-11-2013 3:18 PM
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Boudreaux was awakened at 2:30 AM by the telephone. Mrs. Boudreaux woke up, too. She only heard Mister's half of the conversation, to wit: "How da hell I'm gonna know dat?? Dat dere's a hunnerd an fifty mile from here!" And he slammed down the phone. Mrs. asked, "Who wuz dat?" Mr. replied, "Some dam fool wantin' to know if da coast wuz clear." Edited by Coragyps, : No reason given.
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Shield
Member (Idle past 2880 days) Posts: 482 Joined: 01-29-2008
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Message 812 of 1042 (701108)
06-11-2013 6:22 PM
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So, in sweden, railroad company Arriva does not allow their male train employees to wear shorts, even on hot sommerdays. The rules, however, does not say anything about male staff wearing skirts. So far, 13 railroad engineers are opting for skirts, instead of warm pants:
Mandlige togfrere trkker i nederdel efter forbud mod shorts - politiken.dk Arriva has no objections to this:
""Our thinking is that one should look decent and proper when representing Arriva and the present uniforms do that. If the man only wants to wear a skirt then that is OK," Arriva communications manager Tomas Hedenius told the paper. Video here: Sweden male train drivers wear skirts after shorts row - BBC News Edited by rbp, : Link added Edited by rbp, : No reason given. Edited by rbp, : No reason given. Edited by rbp, : No reason given.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 821 by RAZD, posted 06-14-2013 12:17 PM | | Shield has seen this message but not replied |
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2969 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: 02-20-2008
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Message 813 of 1042 (701148)
06-12-2013 9:42 AM
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Reply to: Message 809 by Coragyps
06-11-2013 3:09 PM
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Re: what's wrong?
Fuck that........
bacon and beer for me! I have half a mind to go over there and slap that shit out of your hands and replace it with kale and a nutra-bullet smoothy. But I really don't want to go to Texas. - Oni
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 809 by Coragyps, posted 06-11-2013 3:09 PM | | Coragyps has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 815 by rueh, posted 06-12-2013 10:46 AM | | onifre has replied |
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2969 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: 02-20-2008
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Message 814 of 1042 (701149)
06-12-2013 9:45 AM
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Reply to: Message 810 by Panda
06-11-2013 3:10 PM
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Re: what's wrong?
(fries to you). Freedom fries to you...
I get out of breath trying to reach the keyboard. You might just be masterbating a little too much. Try stopping that first, then we'll move on to chips. - Oni
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 810 by Panda, posted 06-11-2013 3:10 PM | | Panda has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 816 by Panda, posted 06-12-2013 10:50 AM | | onifre has replied |
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rueh
Member (Idle past 3679 days) Posts: 382 From: universal city tx Joined: 03-03-2008
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Message 815 of 1042 (701152)
06-12-2013 10:46 AM
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Reply to: Message 813 by onifre
06-12-2013 9:42 AM
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Re: what's wrong?
Bringing kale across Texas state lines is a hangable offense.
'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 813 by onifre, posted 06-12-2013 9:42 AM | | onifre has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 824 by onifre, posted 06-14-2013 12:33 PM | | rueh has not replied |
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Panda
Member (Idle past 3731 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined: 10-04-2010
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Message 816 of 1042 (701154)
06-12-2013 10:50 AM
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Reply to: Message 814 by onifre
06-12-2013 9:45 AM
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Re: what's wrong?
onifre writes: You might just be masterbating a little too much.
Is that even possible?!
onifre writes: Try stopping that first, then we'll move on to chips.
Yeah - good thinking. Masturbating and reaching towards the keyboard are arduous tasks. Best to avoid anything that could be considered exercise and focus on the flabdom fries. *nods* Thanks for the helpful tips. 
"There is no great invention, from fire to flying, which has not been hailed as an insult to some god." J. B. S. Haldane
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 814 by onifre, posted 06-12-2013 9:45 AM | | onifre has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 817 by New Cat's Eye, posted 06-12-2013 11:00 AM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied | | | Message 822 by onifre, posted 06-14-2013 12:32 PM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied |
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 817 of 1042 (701155)
06-12-2013 11:00 AM
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Reply to: Message 816 by Panda
06-12-2013 10:50 AM
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| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 816 by Panda, posted 06-12-2013 10:50 AM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 818 by Dogmafood, posted 06-12-2013 8:00 PM | | New Cat's Eye has not replied |
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Dogmafood
Member (Idle past 367 days) Posts: 1815 From: Ontario Canada Joined: 08-04-2010
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I have always considered my ambidexterity to be a blessing.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 819 by Shtop, posted 06-13-2013 6:45 AM | | Dogmafood has not replied |
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Shtop
Junior Member (Idle past 2344 days) Posts: 30 Joined: 07-19-2007
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Message 819 of 1042 (701196)
06-13-2013 6:45 AM
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Reply to: Message 818 by Dogmafood
06-12-2013 8:00 PM
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Habla francais?
An English cat (called one-two-three) and a French cat (called un-deux-trois) have a swimming race. Which cat wins? One-two-three cat wins, because un-deux-trois cat sank.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 818 by Dogmafood, posted 06-12-2013 8:00 PM | | Dogmafood has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 820 by 1.61803, posted 06-14-2013 9:45 AM | | Shtop has not replied |
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1.61803
Member (Idle past 1522 days) Posts: 2928 From: Lone Star State USA Joined: 02-19-2004
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Message 820 of 1042 (701224)
06-14-2013 9:45 AM
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Reply to: Message 819 by Shtop
06-13-2013 6:45 AM
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Re: Habla francais?
"What do you call four Mexican gentleman in a canoe?' Quatro cinco. 
"You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 819 by Shtop, posted 06-13-2013 6:45 AM | | Shtop has not replied |
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1423 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: 03-14-2004
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Message 821 of 1042 (701242)
06-14-2013 12:17 PM
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Reply to: Message 812 by Shield
06-11-2013 6:22 PM
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that's one way to skirt the issue ...
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 812 by Shield, posted 06-11-2013 6:22 PM | | Shield has seen this message but not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 823 by ringo, posted 06-14-2013 12:32 PM | | RAZD has seen this message but not replied |
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2969 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: 02-20-2008
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Message 822 of 1042 (701245)
06-14-2013 12:32 PM
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Reply to: Message 816 by Panda
06-12-2013 10:50 AM
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Re: what's wrong?
Best to avoid anything that could be considered exercise and focus on the flabdom fries. Make them out of sweet potato and bake them for Jebus' sake! For every one fry you have do one sit up/push-up/burpee and it'll be fine. - Oni Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 816 by Panda, posted 06-12-2013 10:50 AM | | Panda has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 430 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 823 of 1042 (701246)
06-14-2013 12:32 PM
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Reply to: Message 821 by RAZD
06-14-2013 12:17 PM
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RAZD writes: that's one way to skirt the issue ...
Yes, they certainly kilt that rule.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 821 by RAZD, posted 06-14-2013 12:17 PM | | RAZD has seen this message but not replied |
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2969 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: 02-20-2008
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Message 824 of 1042 (701247)
06-14-2013 12:33 PM
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Reply to: Message 815 by rueh
06-12-2013 10:46 AM
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Re: what's wrong?
Bringing kale across Texas state lines is a hangable offense. Fatties! - Oni
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 815 by rueh, posted 06-12-2013 10:46 AM | | rueh has not replied |
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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 303 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: 07-20-2006
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Message 825 of 1042 (701265)
06-14-2013 4:05 PM
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New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb. Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.
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