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Author Topic:   Humour VII
frako
Member
Posts: 2796
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 2.3


Message 1006 of 1042 (712180)
11-28-2013 11:15 AM
Reply to: Message 1004 by AZPaul3
11-28-2013 6:48 AM


Re: I have a corn on my 12"
You do know this is the "Humor" thread, right?

And a so called superpower using an archaic measurement system is not the least bit funny to you.

That is just the problem. Metric is too easy. Its' all 1's and 0's in orders of magnitude all logically ordered and internally consistent. There is no intellectual challenge to it.

The Imperial system lends itself to neuroplasticity, the training and strengthening of the brain. One must actually think of the relationships in order to use it correctly and since the relationships are arcane, obscure and inconsistent considerable brain power is necessary to keep it all straight.

Maby if your "intellectuals" dint have to think how many barleycorns more do they have to saw off a too short plank to make it fit, They would have enough brain capacity left to realise that creationism is a non-scientific scam.


Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1004 by AZPaul3, posted 11-28-2013 6:48 AM AZPaul3 has acknowledged this reply

  
frako
Member
Posts: 2796
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 2.3


Message 1007 of 1042 (712243)
11-30-2013 10:17 AM


This is how religion sounds to me.


Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.


  
frako
Member
Posts: 2796
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010
Member Rating: 2.3


Message 1008 of 1042 (712244)
11-30-2013 10:33 AM



Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.


  
ramoss
Member
Posts: 3087
Joined: 08-11-2004


(2)
Message 1009 of 1042 (712299)
12-02-2013 9:55 AM



Tempe 12ft Chicken
Member (Idle past 62 days)
Posts: 436
From: Tempe, Az.
Joined: 10-25-2012


Message 1010 of 1042 (712302)
12-02-2013 11:00 AM
Reply to: Message 990 by ringo
11-24-2013 4:02 PM


Heard it a different way.
I first heard this joke a different way from the book, "Dogs Don't Tell Jokes" by Louis Sachar. This was a book that I read growing up

From the book:

Dogs Don't Tell Jokes, p. 198 writes:

"One day a husband and wife came up to a street corner where Officer Ed was directing traffic.

"Good morning, Officer Ed," said the husband.

"Shut up!" said Officer Ed. "I suppose you want me to stop traffic now, just so you and your ugly wife can cross the street."

"My it's a beautiful day," said the wife.

"It's going to rain stupid!" said Officer Ed. "I've never met such stupid people in all my life."

"But there's not a cloud in the sky," said the woman.

"Read my lips, lady," said Officer Ed. "It's going to rain."

Sure enough before they even made it across the street, the clouds blew in and the rain poured down. The man and the woman had to run under a doorway for cover.

"My goodness," said the woman. "Officer Ed is extremely rude."

"Yes dear," said her husband. "But he knows rain."

Well it just so happens that the man and the woman were songwriters, and that's what gave them the idea for that famous song.

Gary put his hands on his hips and looked at the audience as if surprised they didn't know the song. "Oh, com'n, you know that song!"

He spoke the title very slowly. "Rude......Officer.....Ed......Knows......Rain......Dear."

Gary repeated the title, this time singing it to the tune of the well-known Christmas song. "Rude Officer Ed Knows Rain, Dear."

There were many groans amid the laughter."

Source


The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity. - Richard Dawkins

Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. - Issac Asimov

If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a persons body, and tied them end-to-endthe person will die. - Neil Degrasse Tyson

What would Buddha do? Nothing! What does the Buddhist terrorist do? Goes into the middle of the street, takes the gas, *pfft*, Self-Barbecue. The Christian and the Muslim on either side are yelling, "What the Fuck are you doing?" The Buddhist says, "Making you deal with your shit. - Robin Williams


This message is a reply to:
 Message 990 by ringo, posted 11-24-2013 4:02 PM ringo has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 1011 by ringo, posted 12-02-2013 11:16 AM Tempe 12ft Chicken has not yet responded

ringo
Member
Posts: 15606
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 1.6


Message 1011 of 1042 (712303)
12-02-2013 11:16 AM
Reply to: Message 1010 by Tempe 12ft Chicken
12-02-2013 11:00 AM


Re: Heard it a different way.
Tempe 12ft Chicken writes:

I first heard this joke a different way from the book, "Dogs Don't Tell Jokes" by Louis Sachar.


I only remembered the punchline and had to make up the rest. It was about a communist named Rudolph though.

I often remember just the punch line or everything but the punchline. It's not hard to reverse engineer a joke from the punchline but it can be hard to fit a good punchline to an otherwise unfunny story.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1010 by Tempe 12ft Chicken, posted 12-02-2013 11:00 AM Tempe 12ft Chicken has not yet responded

Tangle
Member
Posts: 6262
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 2.4


(3)
Message 1012 of 1042 (713433)
12-13-2013 5:46 AM


Edited by Tangle, : No reason given.


Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android

Replies to this message:
 Message 1013 by ringo, posted 12-13-2013 12:04 PM Tangle has not yet responded
 Message 1016 by Diomedes, posted 12-13-2013 3:41 PM Tangle has not yet responded

ringo
Member
Posts: 15606
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 1.6


(2)
Message 1013 of 1042 (713473)
12-13-2013 12:04 PM
Reply to: Message 1012 by Tangle
12-13-2013 5:46 AM


quote:
I decapitated the patron saint of animals. -- Dexter

Ah, the sinister Dexter.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 1012 by Tangle, posted 12-13-2013 5:46 AM Tangle has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 1014 by Jon, posted 12-13-2013 2:02 PM ringo has responded
 Message 1015 by RAZD, posted 12-13-2013 2:48 PM ringo has acknowledged this reply

Jon
Inactive Member


Message 1014 of 1042 (713480)
12-13-2013 2:02 PM
Reply to: Message 1013 by ringo
12-13-2013 12:04 PM


Ah, the sinister Dexter.

I see what you did there


Love your enemies!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1013 by ringo, posted 12-13-2013 12:04 PM ringo has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 1017 by ringo, posted 12-14-2013 12:31 PM Jon has not yet responded

RAZD
Member
Posts: 19674
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.8


Message 1015 of 1042 (713481)
12-13-2013 2:48 PM
Reply to: Message 1013 by ringo
12-13-2013 12:04 PM


thaat's not roight ...

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1013 by ringo, posted 12-13-2013 12:04 PM ringo has acknowledged this reply

Diomedes
Member
Posts: 742
From: Central Florida, USA
Joined: 09-13-2013
Member Rating: 2.8


Message 1016 of 1042 (713483)
12-13-2013 3:41 PM
Reply to: Message 1012 by Tangle
12-13-2013 5:46 AM


Let me toss in a cat one:


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1012 by Tangle, posted 12-13-2013 5:46 AM Tangle has not yet responded

ringo
Member
Posts: 15606
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 1.6


Message 1017 of 1042 (713565)
12-14-2013 12:31 PM
Reply to: Message 1014 by Jon
12-13-2013 2:02 PM


Jon writes:

I see what you did there


I'm glad Mr. Linguist got that one.

On a related note: one of our major Canadian grocery retailers has a house brand called Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies. I wonder how many people know what "decadent" means. I picture a Hallowe'en cookie in which the chocolate chips are flies.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1014 by Jon, posted 12-13-2013 2:02 PM Jon has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 1018 by Theodoric, posted 12-14-2013 2:00 PM ringo has responded

Theodoric
Member
Posts: 5777
From: Northwest, WI, USA
Joined: 08-15-2005


Message 1018 of 1042 (713569)
12-14-2013 2:00 PM
Reply to: Message 1017 by ringo
12-14-2013 12:31 PM


Is that a joke?
You do know you are confusing it with decedent don't you?

Sometimes hard to tell what the humor is.


Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts

"God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1017 by ringo, posted 12-14-2013 12:31 PM ringo has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 1019 by AZPaul3, posted 12-14-2013 2:25 PM Theodoric has not yet responded
 Message 1020 by ringo, posted 12-15-2013 1:44 PM Theodoric has not yet responded

  
AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 3480
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 2.2


Message 1019 of 1042 (713571)
12-14-2013 2:25 PM
Reply to: Message 1018 by Theodoric
12-14-2013 2:00 PM


OK, now you guys have me confused.

Are these Canadian cookies sinfully delicious (in which case I want a box) or are they dead (which you can keep)?

Make up your mind(s). Is it "a" or "e"?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1018 by Theodoric, posted 12-14-2013 2:00 PM Theodoric has not yet responded

ringo
Member
Posts: 15606
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 1.6


Message 1020 of 1042 (713684)
12-15-2013 1:44 PM
Reply to: Message 1018 by Theodoric
12-14-2013 2:00 PM


Theodoric writes:

You do know you are confusing it with decedent don't you?


No, decadent. Google it.

I suppose eating decadent cookies might make you a decedent.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1018 by Theodoric, posted 12-14-2013 2:00 PM Theodoric has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 1021 by Percy, posted 12-15-2013 2:17 PM ringo has responded

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