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Author Topic:   Hoarding: When is it too much?
Phat
Member
Posts: 10026
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 1 of 24 (761570)
07-02-2015 6:54 PM


A recent article in Psychology Today online, published by Gillian Ragsdale Ph.DHoarding and Empathy talks about emotional attachments to the things we humans collect.
The question is raised about the healthy and useful limits of such behavior, and where the line is drawn between too little, enough, and too much.
quote:
Do you subscribe to William Morriss golden rule: Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful? Or do you love your stuffevery useless, ugly bit of it?

My Mom is now almost 92, and my sister and i have been cleaning up Moms excess stuff. It is a tedious emotional process. Not only must we find room for some of it, we must find room in our own homes for it which means we need to shed our own excess stuff. Just deciding who gets what, what gets thrown away or given to another is very emotional.

Anxiety is involved, as it is hard to name the emotions connected with all of this nonsense. Some will be sold, of course---thats easier. Some given away. The rest gets divided with the family...eventually. Mom has fortunately made her wish lists and has very little emotional stake in all of this, thankfully for her health's sake.

Do any of you find that not only is one mans junk another mans treasure, but that you have emotional connections to your own piles of junk?


God created war so that Americans would learn geography. Mark Twain
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." Mark Twain

Replies to this message:
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 Message 3 by Tangle, posted 07-03-2015 3:34 AM Phat has responded
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Jon
Inactive Member


(1)
Message 2 of 24 (761583)
07-02-2015 8:28 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by Phat
07-02-2015 6:54 PM


Anxiety is involved, as it is hard to name the emotions connected with all of this nonsense.

I find that my own anxiety is rarely triggered by an inability to assign clinical labels to the things I am feeling; but that's just me.

Do any of you find that not only is one mans junk another mans treasure, but that you have emotional connections to your own piles of junk?

Hoarding is something with which I have always struggled. My parents have four sheds and two stalls of a garage plus the work-shop area completely piled with 'stuff'; they completed another shed about two years ago that is slowly filling up along with its covered deck. This is all in addition to the yard, littered with projects awaiting completion.

It's in my blood and it takes constant vigilance to overcome the temptations to acquire and keep things I don't need and won't ever look at again.

After reading Packard's Waste Makers I have been wondering whether hoarding is a uniquely American disease related to our nation's materialism or if other, less materialistic, cultures also suffer this 'affliction'.

quote:
Vance Packard in Waste Makers (1960):

Visiting foreigners comment that the abundance of of America seems to spill over into the aisles of stores, spread along the highways, and bulge out the doors, windows, and attics of houses.
...

In a good-humored forecast of things to come, the senior editor of Sales Management asserted on May 6, 1960: "If we Americans are to buy and consume everything that automated manufacture, sock-o selling and all-out advertising can thrust upon us, each of our mounting millions must have extra ears and eyes and other sensesas well as extra income. ..." (p. 25)



Love your enemies!

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Tangle
Member
Posts: 5144
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 2.4


(1)
Message 3 of 24 (761609)
07-03-2015 3:34 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by Phat
07-02-2015 6:54 PM


Don't suffer myself, though my garage needs a major clearout.

Do you guys have charity shops? - High Street shops staffed by volunteers with stock donated by people - our kids got to call them 'don't want it shops' - it's a good way of disposing of things 'cos the profit goes to good causes. Maybe it helps if you know that it's helping others?


Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif.

Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android

"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.


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Jon
Inactive Member


Message 4 of 24 (761612)
07-03-2015 7:21 AM
Reply to: Message 3 by Tangle
07-03-2015 3:34 AM


Thrift Store Proliferation: A Sign of the Problem?
We have Goodwill, and many larger towns have their own such operations.

In my home town, two such shops existed: one donated the money to battered women's charities and the other used it to fund local summer school programs.

We tend to call them thrift stores, regardless of where the profits go. In fact, there's a 'song' about such stores:


Love your enemies!

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Phat
Member
Posts: 10026
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 5 of 24 (761619)
07-03-2015 8:50 AM
Reply to: Message 4 by Jon
07-03-2015 7:21 AM


Re: Thrift Store Proliferation: A Sign of the Problem?
I briefly perused an online book(sample pagesat least) Handbook of Culture and Consumer Behavior.

The research done by consumerism advocates on our cultural habits here in the USA as well as the cultural habits and predictable tendencies of other cultures is used by big business both here and abroad.

Seems Wall Street is entirely happy for every household to have at least one shed of stuff...worthless or not it was purchased by someone at some point.

Edited by Phat, : clarification


God created war so that Americans would learn geography. Mark Twain
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." Mark Twain

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 Message 4 by Jon, posted 07-03-2015 7:21 AM Jon has not yet responded

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 10026
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 6 of 24 (761620)
07-03-2015 8:54 AM
Reply to: Message 3 by Tangle
07-03-2015 3:34 AM


Difficulty In Giving
Tangle writes:

Maybe it helps if you know that it's helping others?

One would think that it would be easy to give stuff away that not only helps others but that reduces your clutter.

Mind you, its really easy for me to get rid of my sisters stuff---but she wont let me touch it.

Mom has given it all up mentally though she hoarded for many years...its also easy for me to dispose of her stuff. The problem --for me at least--arises when i must dispose of my own junk.


God created war so that Americans would learn geography. Mark Twain
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." Mark Twain

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by Tangle, posted 07-03-2015 3:34 AM Tangle has not yet responded

  
ringo
Member
Posts: 13864
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 1.6


Message 7 of 24 (761629)
07-03-2015 12:02 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by Phat
07-02-2015 6:54 PM


Phat writes:

... one mans junk another mans treasure....


When my dad died, he had stuff in his house that I'm sure came over from the old country ninety years before. We had an estate sale and you definitely could not predict what people would buy. I sold stuff that was on its way to the garbage bin. But there was stuff that I considered valuable that we literally couldn't give away.

I still have some of his stuff in my basement. I do feel guilty about throwing it away.


This message is a reply to:
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Phat
Member
Posts: 10026
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 8 of 24 (822508)
10-26-2017 6:10 PM
Reply to: Message 7 by ringo
07-03-2015 12:02 PM


Homeless People Have A Hoarding Problem Too
Im curious as to the psychology behind all of this:

I would think that traveling with only the pure necessities---a warm pair of clothes, another two pair, at most two pairs of shoes and a blanket and a tarp would be the easiest. Lugging around extra just seems harder.


Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith
Paul was probably SO soaked in prayer nobody else has ever equaled him.~Faith :)

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xongsmith
Member
Posts: 1818
From: massachusetts US
Joined: 01-01-2009
Member Rating: 2.7


Message 9 of 24 (822511)
10-26-2017 9:04 PM


i'll just be quiet here....

not much different today either. the rest of the house and shed looks about the same. BUT! the garage is GONE! Yay!


- xongsmith, 5.7d

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RAZD
Member
Posts: 19215
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.4


Message 10 of 24 (822540)
10-27-2017 10:56 AM
Reply to: Message 9 by xongsmith
10-26-2017 9:04 PM


i'll just be quiet here....

We tried bro, we tried ... and it won't change until you finalize that divorce and buy her out of the house.

Note to others: this is just one room. All rooms are like this including basement.

Sooner is better.

Enjoy


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

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RAZD
Member
Posts: 19215
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.4


Message 11 of 24 (822542)
10-27-2017 11:03 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by Phat
07-02-2015 6:54 PM


Hoarding: When is it too much?

When you have more than you need for survival?
When you have more than you will use in the next year?
When it adversely affects others?

Is not the hoarding of money (in billions of dollars) not the same as hoarding more toilet paper than you will use in your lifetime?

Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail.

-- Henry David Thoreau, on simplicity

Enjoy


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

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ringo
Member
Posts: 13864
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 1.6


(1)
Message 12 of 24 (822555)
10-27-2017 12:05 PM
Reply to: Message 8 by Phat
10-26-2017 6:10 PM


Re: Homeless People Have A Hoarding Problem Too
Phat writes:

Im curious as to the psychology behind all of this


Our society teaches us to have what we need instead of being able to get what we need. I'm coming to the realization that as long as I can work it doesn't matter if I lose my house and all of the stuff in it - I'll still be able to get what I need.

I think homeless people are much like my parents' generation, who grew up during the Depression. They didn't have much so they were very reluctant to let go of anything once they had it.

Maybe instead of just giving warm clothing to the homeless we (e.g. the Salvation Army) should lend it to them. Have them return the winter coats in the spring and give them a nominal payment as incentive. Then clean them and do the same thing next winter.


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RAZD
Member
Posts: 19215
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.4


Message 13 of 24 (822565)
10-27-2017 3:42 PM
Reply to: Message 12 by ringo
10-27-2017 12:05 PM


Tiny Homes = storage, bed, address, dignity
Maybe instead of just giving warm clothing to the homeless we (e.g. the Salvation Army) should lend it to them. Have them return the winter coats in the spring and give them a nominal payment as incentive. Then clean them and do the same thing next winter.

Or house them in tiny homes so they have a place to leave that stuff during the day and a place to sleep at night, a place to wash up, do laundry, eat, etc, to say nothing of having an address for applying for work etc.

Gives them some dignity

Enjoy


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

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RAZD
Member
Posts: 19215
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 2.4


(1)
Message 14 of 24 (822566)
10-27-2017 4:20 PM
Reply to: Message 8 by Phat
10-26-2017 6:10 PM


Stuff
George Carlin

Enjoy


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

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ringo
Member
Posts: 13864
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 1.6


Message 15 of 24 (822580)
10-28-2017 11:41 AM
Reply to: Message 13 by RAZD
10-27-2017 3:42 PM


Re: Tiny Homes = storage, bed, address, dignity
RAZD writes:

Or house them in tiny homes....


I think tiny homes are a great idea, and not just for homeless people. Unfortunately, our city council in its infinite wisdom won't allow houses less than 1000 square feet to be built.
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