Exactly. This is why I reject Calvinism. It is contradictory and the premises flip flop back and forth depending on the specific subject. I know you don't see it that way, but if it is basically impossible to describe and to "keep track of the content" maybe the truth of it should be questioned.
For example, "But the fact that God is totally in charge of everything really does not affect what we do at all." - if things can happen apart from God's will, then he really is not in charge of it.
and "In some sense everything we do is "in God's will" anyway. But if anyone wants to be saved nothing is preventing it," - except for "God's will" which is either preventing it or encouraging it.
The idea of election and predestination are really meant to be reassurances to those who have been walking with God for a long time.
I don't think so. We have individualized those passages, which is something the West highly favors - individuality. Try reading those passages and think of them in terms other than referencing individuals, but instead groups (such as The Church) or ideals (such believers were created to do good works).
HBD
Whoever calls me ignorant shares my own opinion. Sorrowfully and tacitly I recognize my ignorance, when I consider how much I lack of what my mind in its craving for knowledge is sighing for... I console myself with the consideration that this belongs to our common nature. - Francesco Petrarca
"Nothing is easier than to persuade people who want to be persuaded and already believe." - another Petrarca gem.
Ignorance is a most formidable opponent rivaled only by arrogance; but when the two join forces, one is all but invincible.