What do believers believe heaven or hell are like?

So i wont have an option of laying about on a cloud watching reruns of Seinfeld, and 2 and a half men?Cmmon its hevan they should give me an option to watch 2 and a half men season 9 with Charlie sheen instead of Aston Kutcher

Well from what i gathered from the bible if you are a good boy and worship god do what he commands and dont do what he forbids after you die you get the grand prize of worshiping your god for eternity singing his praises telling him how awesome he is and the like. And if your not a good boy you go to hell where you burn and get tortured and of course you dont get the privilege of worshiping your god praising him and telling him how awesome he is.

hehe kind of its close but this comes closerI am at home in such hills
even the dog sometimes rides on its ass
Tink how hard it is to grow stuffYou better not be a little salted
If i where drunk many times
i would already be buriedI have a fox that brings me my post
Cards are played by a black kos (bird)
The wheelbarrow is my only rideThe hawk has no place to turn
When he lands to get the chicken
But why whine its good enough to be aliveWe hillbillies are good people
hojlarija ri
Whoever dosent think like we do has something happen to him fast
....Last day i went to the wally
For shuggar, pepper, oil and salt
And immediately it started
A long haired young man came
I dont know if he was a sister or a brother
You know he tried to beat me up
I barely escaped i said to him
Pepy your good now
I hurry back where the smart people areIn the valley everyone is mad
In the hills we live differently
here we all know each otherWe hillbillies are good people
hojlarija ri
Whoever dosent think like we do has something happen to him fast
....I killed a bull
And was making nops
The IRS came and said hops
Your shitting me all whiteout papersI told them the destilary is still burning from last year
The bull is allso hanging a year
dont you remember you gave me the papersThe young inspector lookt at me angry
said he dosent like people like me
i should stop shitting like this
......
...
..
..combined with this song
Od Franca Franekina god (god as in the day your name is on the calendar)Back in the day the people where better looking and fatter
They liked to drink and eat something good
Not today when men are worse then mice
someone thinks he looks so fine, only if he is skinny as a pin.Back in the day it wasent like this,
they thought you where sick, if you had less then a hunderd (kilos) .
A real man had to have at least 120 kilo,
and he could with no effort eat half a pig you know horizontally cutIf i think of Franca Franekina
how much we ate, how much wine we drank
when i think about it someone came in to my house
he hit me on the shoulder and said "today is my godI said "listen to me cerfully Franc Franekin,
today he is watching you, if you dont give out a quarter"
"A quarter what are you talking about you cunt
We two are going in the cellar to empty a barrel or 2"I told frans i dont mind,"
I made 2 sandwitches for the road
To each a loaf of bread, mortatella, cheese
enough so our stomach gives us peace on the roadIf you go down the village to the left and then straight
in 15 minutes you arive at Franekinovih,
Franc opened the cellar
and called his wife to make something light to eatWhen i entered the cellar, i fell in to a trance,
as if a regiment of soldiers dressed up for a parade
the barrels stood in line, bel pinot,
zelen, barbera, kabernet, merlot.(typs of wine)And what was tied to the celling,
ham, baco , panceta and in the middle salami,
and sausages in rows all redy for winter
like grapes it hung all downFirs work we drank the pinelo
down the throat those 2 paninka with mortadela,
and then we slowly went from barrel to barrel
we opened up the pipe and tried them one by oneGarganja, ka ti stori voju za okulat,
zelen, prekrasen, ka ma tak duh ku mukat,
pinot, ka se ti v ustah razcveti takuo ko roa,
merlot, ka ti elodk poboa, an taku naprej, tako pores.
(hard to translate describes the taste of the various wines)I said franc lets play a little violin
i ment cut some prut it would be right with this wine (prut says ham but i dout uncle google is right)
You dont have to ask
one two three the prut was on the cutting table being cutSoon all that was left was a bone
so not to fall weak we each attacked a salami
and all the time trying out the barrelsWe ate a few lofes of sirkov bread with the meat
barbera made sure our throtes where not dry
and then his wife brought down
a big bowl of olce with lomberjem. ( a gula typ of thing)To everyone a bit of jote, in stepped a pig,
in each portion a few sausages where swimming
and on the side some fried prut, and polenta
the bowls where so full they where screaming"you want a noter piece, what will you drink with that withe or black"
"just pour all is good"
"now that we finished lets move on"when we finished a new prut was on the table
The wife went up to bake a frajtca (meat)
I told him" stop a little it was enough "
he said" be quiet drink and eat"There was no choice but to obey
Till the morning to drink and eat
When the dawn came we also sang so that windows cracked
And then everyone had breakfastBack in the day people where bigger and more butiful
they liked to eat and liked to drink and loved oneanother
if a man eats poorly he gets bad blood
that man is always in a bad mood and always angry( if you think the song is exaggerating you would be wrong stuff like this still happens)And mixed with a bit of this songSummer is coming back to us,
and again i got a recourse,
society is paying for my holidays
just one lousy million bucks.I have never squandered my money on drinking,
I always put it in a sock,
when it will empty out,
I will run away to the place only I know.It is easy to live there with my salary,
I will rea,lly go there some day,
I will not return back home,not even in my dreams,
although I will send postcards to you all.Republica Palma de Cocco,
this is a place for nice people,
the bottom of the bottles is very deep there,
there is no end of partying.Creoles are dancing samba,
and such negro women,
who have their buttock as big as two heelbarrows,
everyone of them is worth a sin.If you spend all night boozing they are not mad at you,
and you do not have to pay back dues to the waiters,
neither cops are sober there,
there is no prisons and fights.In the Republic Palma de Cocco,
there is party for everyone,
even the president Loco Loco
doesn not know the favouritism.You can drink there as much as you can,
and do whaterevr you want,
you can say whatever you want
and nobody goes into prison because of this.When one night i will fall in a ditch
Drunk of rum like a dragon
The policeman will gently and respectfully
cover me with his own shirt.Do not touch my head if i have temperature,
and do not ask what is wrong with me,
do not think it got me,
and i am not going childish.I will be laughing a lot,
when these days,
from the Republic of Palma de Cocco,
you will get my postcards.

Well if say an American stranger comes to my village and tries to beat up a neighbor i dont lke cause he has a newer car, or a better wife or whatever, that American would see the whole village descend upon him with a fury you have yet to see. Only we have the right to beat up one of our own no matter how much we hate him.But if any stranger even an American comes to any Slovenian village with good intentions all you have to do is ask and you shall receive, in some cases even asking a person to borrow his car so you can screw his wife in private would not be too much. According to the writings of Gajus Julius Cezar, during his time if a Slovan did not offer every hospitality to a stranger passing the village the village would kill that Slovan.We are a verry complex people of the extremes, if you drink every day you are a drunk but if you cant hold your ale your soft, if you dont drink there is something wrong with you,if you dont get layed by the time you are 20 there is something wrong with you but if you get layed too often your a whormonger, we rather pore our wine down the hill then sell it to cheap (happens allot), and a true vineyard owner does not sell his wine but drinks it with his friends. We send our kids to curch and to Sunday school, but we mostly dont attend curch except on the mayor holidays. Whenever you come to visit you HAVE TO eat something, but if you come during the time we eat we are pissed lol. The culture though is chanegeing especially in the city areas its becoming more of a standard European culture. But back in the day especially before my time it was more of an Astrix and Obelix kind of culture. The problem with us and god would be that well god would be in charge and if we wouldnt like what he was dooing we would lock him up in his office till he changes his mind, or we would have negotiations about how to run things on the shore of the lake of fire with only alcohol to drink, but on the other hand we dont want much we want food on the table, drinks in our belly and cigarette smoke in our lungs. It has to do with our history firstli we where raped by this religion first with the point of the sword, then with the indoctrination of the son of one of our ancient leaders, then we had to pay taxes to the curch 1/10 of everything, then douring the socialist revolution the state took alot of the churches property that was immorally gain anyway and now the fucks up top are giving it back. Even though we still have allot of devout people even they look with frowns when a priest comes to his parish with a new car every few years. Well we Slovenians where burning down castles killing counts and lords in peasant rebellions before America was even founded , except in the new civilized times we dont kill the tycoons that run large companies we make them shit their pants for long enough for them to give us what we want. But even this is changing i think mostly because of immigration where immigrants are happy to work for minimum wages and a 45 minute brake and our people cant get them to rise up with them its a bit harder if everyone is not working together. And i dont know whats wrong with these immigrants because scandals come out every so often where some Bosnians havent been payed for up to 6 months and are still working and not holding their boss over the roofs ledge by his feet.back on topicIf heaven exists and is a place where everyone is happy, it has to be something close to the haven shown in the Series of Supernatural where everyone has his own piece of heaven where stuff that he likes are always happening. Basically everyone gets his own version of heaven.