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Author Topic:   How do I deal with a creationist family member?
onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


(3)
Message 61 of 86 (534356)
11-07-2009 3:09 AM
Reply to: Message 39 by Buzsaw
11-05-2009 9:07 PM


Yah, sure, Dude, complicate a problematic situation into more of a rabitry hopping from one bunny to another until the kiddies know not who belongs to who or where to turn.
Fair point.
Blessed be the family commitments of til death do we part, come hell or high water, through the good and the bad, etc, where, so long as Biblical principles were applied, the non-complicated old fashioned functional family flourished fairly effectively.
Yea, but you guys didn't have myspace or facebook, lol. Pu**y is just thrown at you nowadays, Buz. It wasn't like your day when there were barely any women in the work place, or at bars. There's to much to deal with now and way too much of a selection to be bogged down in something that is causing you stress and an ulcer. Eventually, you'll look around and meet someone who compliments you a little better, but now you're stuck in a relationship you're not feeling, and never were. But you stuck around for the kids ... so what do you do, you cheat and screw everything up to a degree that it never had to get to.
It's a different time now, but I get where you're coming from. My parents hate each other but are still married. I hate visiting because they're both miserable and have been for many, many years. As a kid, I would wish they would get divorced, just so I didn't have to listen to the constant fighting.
So what did the "traditional" approach achieve them? - Nothing
And how did they help their kid with the 'traditional' approach? - Well, now at any sign of a conflict I'm ready to terminate any relationship I'm in because I don't want to end up like them.
So it was a lose-lose situation.
Plus, I've always felt that any man who feels the need to dominate a woman by means of masculine intimidation, was lacking a little in the bedroom department, if you know what I mean.
Here's a saying from my generation: If you hit it right, she'll know who the man is.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 39 by Buzsaw, posted 11-05-2009 9:07 PM Buzsaw has not replied

  
hooah212002
Member (Idle past 801 days)
Posts: 3193
Joined: 08-12-2009


(1)
Message 62 of 86 (534358)
11-07-2009 3:21 AM
Reply to: Message 60 by onifre
11-07-2009 2:53 AM


You kinda knew what you were getting into, right? I mean, she didn't keep any of this a secret and sprung it on you recently, right? You knew she was Christian and knew the mom?
Not exactly. In the first year or so, it wasn't really brought up. As I have said, it isn't an everyday dillemma because it really only gets mentioned maybe once or twice a month.
OR, like Buz seems to be suggesting, just pop her in the mouth and tell her to make you a sandwich, while you teach the kids about natural selection.
I have tried that, but she hits back....alot harder.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
 Message 63 by Kitsune, posted 11-07-2009 8:49 AM hooah212002 has seen this message but not replied

  
Kitsune
Member (Idle past 4300 days)
Posts: 788
From: Leicester, UK
Joined: 09-16-2007


(1)
Message 63 of 86 (534370)
11-07-2009 8:49 AM
Reply to: Message 62 by hooah212002
11-07-2009 3:21 AM


Hi Hooah, do you think your wife would be open to both of you preceding statements to your kids with, "I believe"?
e.g. "I believe that God doesn't exist."
"I believe that God does exist and that Jesus is his son."
"Mom and I don't agree on these things but that's OK, everybody's different."
So instead of indoctrinating them, you are presenting your points of view to them and allowing them to eventually decide for themselves what they want to believe in.
As others here have said, the fear of hell might get in the way of this, but it's a possibility if she can be somewhat open-minded.
Good luck, sounds like a difficult situation.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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Son
Member (Idle past 3830 days)
Posts: 346
From: France,Paris
Joined: 03-11-2009


(1)
Message 64 of 86 (534385)
11-07-2009 1:35 PM
Reply to: Message 63 by Kitsune
11-07-2009 8:49 AM


I would like to add something like:
"And other people believe other things too" as well as
"Science doesn't say anything about anything supernatural".
I think we would need your wife's response to such a proposal to know what you could do.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 63 by Kitsune, posted 11-07-2009 8:49 AM Kitsune has not replied

  
Briterican
Member (Idle past 3949 days)
Posts: 340
Joined: 05-29-2008


(1)
Message 65 of 86 (534639)
11-10-2009 1:00 AM


Sorry Mom
I feel for you hooah.
In conversation the other night with my mother I hit a nerve and the retort was "Look, I've had my faith for 50+ years, I'm not going to let you take it away from me now!"
I tried to think back to precisely what I had said that illicited this response.
Basically I had been defending my position as an atheist against a "critique" from my step-father, who was putting forward the argument that my conclusion that there probably is no god was as big a jump in logic as his conclusion that there probably is one.
I tried to explain why this was a fallacy, why these two conclusions are not on equal footing, and in the process I (ill-advisedly) put forward the idea that my "disbelief" was more firmly founded in logic and reason than their "belief".
Anyway, somewhere along the way I hit a nerve and I think my mother felt as though I was saying that believers are silly or gullible. Although in some company I might put forward that exact argument, I realised that I shouldn't be making that assertion to my mother, a professed believer. To back down a little is perhaps intellectually dishonest, but this is my mother after all.
In the end we were getting along fine again with no hard feelings. Afterwards I viewed some Christopher Hitchens videos on youtube to cleanse myself of the feelings of intellectual dishonesty.
Hope things turn out okay in your situation.

Replies to this message:
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Trae
Member (Idle past 4306 days)
Posts: 442
From: Fremont, CA, USA
Joined: 06-18-2004


Message 66 of 86 (534899)
11-11-2009 4:38 PM
Reply to: Message 32 by SammyJean
11-05-2009 2:41 PM


Re: People are crazy in Fremont
With the exception of a couple of years, since the late 1980's.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 32 by SammyJean, posted 11-05-2009 2:41 PM SammyJean has not replied

  
RAZD
Member (Idle past 1405 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 67 of 86 (535392)
11-15-2009 12:28 PM
Reply to: Message 65 by Briterican
11-10-2009 1:00 AM


Re: Sorry Mom
See reply on another topic at Message 286
Enjoy

This message is a reply to:
 Message 65 by Briterican, posted 11-10-2009 1:00 AM Briterican has not replied

  
josedelcarmenrodriguez
Junior Member (Idle past 5201 days)
Posts: 1
From: Bogota, Colombia
Joined: 12-31-2009


Message 68 of 86 (541083)
12-31-2009 10:24 AM


Enjoy discussing!
The creation & evolution struggle can be converted into a source of familiar union if it is used constructively. To that aim, let me to invite you together with your girlfriend and children to begin a study of a material that will give you work and joy for many years. It is
Java for the study of evolution
You can find it, without any fee, at
evoljava.com

  
Artemis Entreri 
Suspended Member (Idle past 4228 days)
Posts: 1194
From: Northern Virginia
Joined: 07-08-2008


Message 69 of 86 (565037)
06-14-2010 1:06 PM


If she is Catholic she most likely won't budge. So you have to, be the man suck it up, and tell her what she wants to hear. You can still make sure the kids are educated, without poisoning them with your knowledge. It is obvious she doesn't really know what she is talking about, Catholic, KJV, Creationism (which one of these 3 doesn't belong with the other 2). If you love this woman, then yeah YOU have to compromise on this one. How big of a deal would it be to take her side on this one? You have to pick your battles carefully, and this one isn't worth it, if the kids are intelligent and educated they will "see the light".
You could always just fake it, convert, and pay lip service to the thing until the kids grow up.

  
Big_Al35
Member (Idle past 800 days)
Posts: 389
Joined: 06-02-2010


Message 70 of 86 (569698)
07-23-2010 10:35 AM


Firstly, if she is reading the KJV then you should advise her to get the NIV. She is clearly living in the past. The Dickensian or Shakespearean eras spring to mind.
Next, if you don't believe in scripture why quote it? You must believe in at least some of it (or agree with it at least). You are defeating your own arguments when you quote scripture.
She might be wrong about her interpretation of scripture and yours might be the more accurate but this is where your focus should lie.

Replies to this message:
 Message 71 by subbie, posted 07-23-2010 11:07 AM Big_Al35 has not replied

  
subbie
Member (Idle past 1254 days)
Posts: 3509
Joined: 02-26-2006


Message 71 of 86 (569701)
07-23-2010 11:07 AM
Reply to: Message 70 by Big_Al35
07-23-2010 10:35 AM


Firstly, if she is reading the KJV then you should advise her to get the NIV. She is clearly living in the past.
Dude, rent a clue. If she's reading any version she's living in the past. It was written 2,000 years ago or more.

Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus. -- Thomas Jefferson
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and non-believers. -- Barack Obama
We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat
It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate

This message is a reply to:
 Message 70 by Big_Al35, posted 07-23-2010 10:35 AM Big_Al35 has not replied

  
hooah212002
Member (Idle past 801 days)
Posts: 3193
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 72 of 86 (569824)
07-23-2010 10:40 PM


LMAO. I forgot about this post. I dumped the broad. Her stupidity was too much for me to overcome. Oh, and she turned out to be a raging hussie to boot.

"A still more glorious dawn awaits
Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise
A morning filled with 400 billion suns
The rising of the milky way"
-Carl Sagan

  
archaeologist
Inactive Member


(1)
Message 73 of 86 (573921)
08-13-2010 5:54 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by hooah212002
11-04-2009 1:12 AM


My question is this: how can I talk to her and show her, not that she is wrong, but, to be more accepting of different viewpoints.
when it comes to the bible there is no accepting of different viewpoints. if it disagrees with the Bible then it is wrong.
you should discard your alternatives and follow the Bible.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by hooah212002, posted 11-04-2009 1:12 AM hooah212002 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 74 by hooah212002, posted 08-13-2010 8:47 AM archaeologist has not replied
 Message 75 by Apothecus, posted 08-13-2010 9:48 AM archaeologist has not replied
 Message 76 by jar, posted 08-13-2010 10:05 AM archaeologist has replied

  
hooah212002
Member (Idle past 801 days)
Posts: 3193
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 74 of 86 (573946)
08-13-2010 8:47 AM
Reply to: Message 73 by archaeologist
08-13-2010 5:54 AM


We have a troll on our hands

"A still more glorious dawn awaits
Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise
A morning filled with 400 billion suns
The rising of the milky way"
-Carl Sagan

This message is a reply to:
 Message 73 by archaeologist, posted 08-13-2010 5:54 AM archaeologist has not replied

  
Apothecus
Member (Idle past 2410 days)
Posts: 275
From: CA USA
Joined: 01-05-2010


Message 75 of 86 (573961)
08-13-2010 9:48 AM
Reply to: Message 73 by archaeologist
08-13-2010 5:54 AM


when it comes to the bible there is no accepting of different viewpoints. if it disagrees with the Bible then it is wrong.
you should discard your alternatives and follow the Bible.
Hey Archie. I gave you a 5 for your post. Your argument was well presented, fully evidenced, and reasonable.
Well done.

"My own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. J.B.S Haldane 1892-1964

This message is a reply to:
 Message 73 by archaeologist, posted 08-13-2010 5:54 AM archaeologist has not replied

  
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