A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
"I know some of you are going to say 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut." -Stephen Colbert
Q: what does the buddhist say to a hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
OMG, I've been laughing at this for the last 5 minutes. I remember this from high school. ----------
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi hold up a sign on the side of a highway that says "The end is Near!!! Turn back now before it's too late!!"
A car speeds by and the driver yells out something. The 3 holy men could only hear "Go home you crazy..." A short time after the car passes, the 3 holy men could hear a loud tire screeching sound and a big crashing sound.
The rabbi turns to the other two and says, "Perhaps we should be a little more specific and tell people the bridge is out."
Yes friends, he was killed right there in the parking lot of New Hope First Baptist Church. Sorry to say we missed the funeral services, they were apparently held last May. Jesus has no doubt been charged with first degree murder, as the evidence seems pretty overwhelming.
My mother's favorite endearment to me was "You little devil!"
Most people I meet think I will, should, or ought to right now proceed to Hades: even my sweetie on occasion looks at me with big round eyes and says, "You are the devil!"--not always disapprovingly, I might add.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
I have to ask.
The first time I heard this I laughed out loud and then giggled about it for a while. I liked it. Since then, I've told it 5 or 6 times, and I've gotten about half blank stares and half groans.
People usually laugh at my jokes. I'm not the best joke teller, but I'm not lousy at it, either.
No. They pause, look confused, then their eyes get kind of wide as they say, "Oh! Ohhhh, oh, that's awful." (By the end of this sentence, their eyes have ceased to be wide.)
Which is the exact reaction I'm going for, so that's okay.
"I know some of you are going to say 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut." -Stephen Colbert
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