For Demosthenes Fan

(Sorry to do it this way, but I wanted to reply immediately without waiting for approval of the thread.)DF,How horrible! You have my deepest sympathy, although I cannot fathom what you must be going through.What amazes me is that you find the strength to come here with your sorrow. It's the best compliment this place has ever had, I think. On behalf of everyone, thank you! I cannot speak from experience, but since you appeal to rationality, I'd say that sharing your sorrow with your daughter would be one way. Now is the time that love will show it's other side: love in sorrow as opposed to love in happiness. If you can support each other in these times of bitterness, in the end your love will be stronger and deeper than before. You've got that to look forward to, even if it doesn't seem to be much of a consolation now. You will appreciate it for the rest of your life.I wish you and your loved ones all the strength and love you need right now.Parasomnium.This message has been edited by Parasomnium, 06-Jun-2005 10:40 AMThis message has been edited by Admin, 06-06-2005 09:18 AMThis message has been edited by Parasomnium, 06-Jun-2005 09:58 PM

Yes I think this is one of those times where we say bollocks to the approval system.This is from his post in the approved topic thread:

quote:

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Hello everyone, it’s been awhile since I have posted here, lately I have been lurking, sitting back and enjoying the debates. But now I write this with a very broken heart, and seeking some insight from many of you, because I truly feel that most of you are the most rational, intellectual, and honest people I have had a chance to watch.

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Many changes have taken place in the last three days. My twelve year old
son was hit and killed by a car on Tuesday night. He has
been my beacon, my anchor, everything that has given me purpose to
live. And now, I feel like my heart has stopped beating. I have a
nine year old daughter, who I love deeply, but I am afraid that this will
rob her of the kind of love and affection that she would have received
before this happened. I don’t know if anyone here has ever had to deal
with a situation like this, so I am not sure how to even react. But I
guess my question is this; how do I keep from collapsing inward, when
he needs me, I can’t smile or laugh. How do I reassure her that I love
her as much as I love my son?

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I will be checking this every evening, so please have patience with me if it takes me a day or so to reply to you, also sorry about the rambling, I am just too emotional to really put it all into words.

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This message has been edited by Admin, 06-06-2005 09:25 AM

Demosthenes Fan - I honestly don't know what to say to you. Every combination of words just seems trite.I think hugs are the best I can offer you. Give your girl lots of hugs, I think it will be good for both you and her. I think the next few months (at least) are going to be a confusing and hard time for you. Make sure that you have plenty of people around who you can reach out when you need it.In addition, remember this board is pretty much 24 hours (I'm in the uk) - you feel the need to come in for a rabble, you come for a rabble . I'm sure someone will be about.RegardsCharlesThis message has been edited by Admin, 06-06-2005 09:20 AM

Demosthenes Fan,My sincere condolences & sympathies.This is so terrible that I really only think I can understand the horror of your situation as a concept, from the outside looking in. I don't think it's one of those things that can be truly understood without going through it.Try as I might I can think of no meaningful words of comfort, other than that you are in my thoughts & I wish I could give you a cuddle.MarkThis message has been edited by mark24, 06-06-2005 06:52 AM

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those that understand binary, & those that don't

Demosthenes FanI cannot even begin to fathom the level of hurt that must have touched you.I do know though that the pain you feel now is best dealt with by sharing what you feel with people who care.Speak to us about those things you feel you need to share to help you through this.You are part of a larger community here and ,I for one, will attend to this board every day to listen.
Your daughter and you will now be anchors to the future of one another and she will need you more than he ever did.Spend the time to give her comfort and I am sure she will do the same.One day at a time DF,one day at a time.We stand at your side through all of it and you need not be alone.This goes for your daughter as well.We will speak with you again,OK?This message has been edited by Admin, 06-06-2005 09:21 AM

Demo,I think the only advise I have to offer is to not be afraid to grieve in front of your daughter or to let her grieve with you. I've known many adults that think they are protecting a youngster by keeping the worst of the grief from them but in reality it just makes them feel shut out.Hold your daughter, cry with her, let her know that you are feeling the same things she is. But also reassure her (and yourself) that this terrible grief will lessen with time.One last thing, and I know that this probably isn't something you are capable of at this moment...but some of the most cathartic grieving that I have ever done didn't involve crying and wishing it would go away, but consisted of laughter and silly memories.My heart goes out to you and your family and my thoughts are with you.This message has been edited by Admin, 06-06-2005 09:22 AM

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Asgara
"Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever....but get over it"select * from USERS where CLUE > 0http://asgarasworld.bravepages.com
http://perditionsgate.bravepages.com

Content removed pending advisement. --AdminThis message has been edited by Admin, 06-06-2005 12:53 PM

Demosthenese Fan,You made no mistake. Please read the email I sent to demosthenes_fan@yahoo.com. I'm removing the content of your post till I hear back that you want it restored.

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--	Percy
	EvC Forum Director

I just came back online and reread the story in the other thread, AND IT'S CHANGED! What is going on here?

Admin is concerned that Demosthenes Fan is compromising his privacy. Thus Admin did some editing. He is also trying to privately (e-mail) communicate with DF on this matter.Likewise for the edit just upthread.Let's not let this editing issue distract from the real and most serious theme of this topic.Adminnemooseus

I get it.Sorry for my over-reaction, DF still has my sympathy.

Thank you everyone. Thank you Percy especially. It's nice to know that people are here and care. This place has always been a good escape for me. I have some fund raiser's to attend tonight for the memorial service. I will be back after those are over with, to answer questions or to just vent. Thank you again - DF

Tonight people from the community gathered to remember the life that we all lost. There were at least four hundred people there. It's amazing to see the support we are getting. I think I actually smiled tonight, without having to fake the emotion.