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Author | Topic: The Monty Python Thread | |||||||||||||||||||||
Thor Member (Idle past 5931 days) Posts: 148 From: Sydney, Australia Joined: |
...because it needs to be done, I could do with a laugh, and I know there are some fans around here. Let's hear favourite Python moments, quotes, etc.
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" and "Yes, we're all individuals!" "I'm not"
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Funkaloyd Inactive Member |
The Life of Brian is so relevant to the discussion here that it could have its own thread in Faith & Belief.
I liked the formation of the denominations bit; "we must gather shoes together in abundance". The Biggus Dickus scene had me in tears.
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Michael Member (Idle past 4658 days) Posts: 199 From: USA Joined: |
From "Life of Brian" again:
________ Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man ” Stan: Or woman. Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan? You're putting us off. Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg. Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan? Stan: I want to be one. Reg, Francis: What? Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me "Loretta". Reg: Wha'? Stan: It's my right as a man. Judith: Well,why do you want to be Loretta, Stan? Stan: I want to have babies. Reg: You want to have babies?! Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them. Reg: But... you can't have babies. Stan: Don't you oppress me! Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan, you haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?________ It is John Cleese who made that work so well for me. Cheers.
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berberry Inactive Member |
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists. There are Hindus and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohammed, But I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic,And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics is They'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six-footer.You don't have to have a great brain. You don't have to have any clothes on. You're a Catholic the moment Dad came, Because... Every sperm is sacred.Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Children: Every sperm is sacred,Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Little Girl: Let the heathens spill theirs,On the dusty ground. God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found. Children: Every sperm is wanted.Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. Mother: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,Spill theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care. Men on toilets: Every sperm is sacred.Every sperm is great. Women: If a sperm is wasted, Children: God gets quite irate. Priest: Every sperm is sacred.Bride and Groom: Every sperm is good. Nannies: Every sperm is needed Babies: In your neighbourhood! Everyone: Every sperm is useful.Every sperm is fine. Undertakers: God needs everybody's. Male mourner: Mine! Female mourner: And mine! Corpse: And mine! Nuns: Let the Pagans spill theirsO'er mountain, hill, and plain. Statues: God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain. Everyone: Every sperm is sacred.Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. Every sperm is sacred.Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite iraaaaate! |
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cavediver Member (Idle past 3664 days) Posts: 4129 From: UK Joined: |
Nietzsche and Hegel there. Karl Jaspers number seven on the outside, Wittgenstein there with him. There's Beckenbauer. Schelling's in there, Heidegger covering. Schopenhauer.
And now it's the Greeks, Epicurus, Plotinus number six. Aristotle. Empedocles of Acragus and Democratus with him. There's Archimedes. Socrates, there he is, Socrates. Socrates there, going through. There's the ball! There's the ball. And Nietzsche there. Nietzsche, number ten in this German side. Kant moving up on the outside. Schlegel's on the left, the Germans moving very well in these opening moments. ... Well there may be no score, but there's certainly no lack of excitement here. As you can see, Nietzsche has just been booked for arguing with the referee. He accused Confucius of having no free will, and Confucius says, "Name go in book". And this is Nietzsche's third booking in four games. And who's that? It's Karl Marx, Karl Marx is warming up. It looks as though there's going to be a substitution in the German side. ... Well now, with just over a minute left, a replay on Tuesday looks absolutely vital. There's Archimedes, and I think he's had an idea. "Eureka!" Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes, Archimedes out to Heraclitus, he beats Hegel Heraclitus a little flick, here he comes on the far post, Socrates is there, Socrates heads it in! Socrates has scored! The Greeks are going mad, the Greeks are going mad! Socrates scores, got a beautiful cross from Archimedes. The Germans are disputing it. Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside. [genius, pure genius]
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Lithodid-Man Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 504 From: Juneau, Alaska, USA Joined: |
This is part of a sketch I show my invert zoo class, as there is very little funny material on invertebrates (Episode 32, Mollusk reproduction sketch)
Zorba: Another loose-living gastropod is the periwinkle. This shameless little libertine with its characteristic ventral locomotion ... is not the marrying kind: Anywhere anytime is its motto. Up with the shell and they're at it. Mrs Jalin: How about the lamellibranchs? Zorba: I'm coming to them ... the great scallop (holds one up) ... this tatty, scrofulous old rapist, is second in depravity only to the common clam. (holds up a clam) This latter is a fight whore, a harlot, a trollop, a cynical bed-hopping firm-breasted Rabelaisian bit of sea food that makes Fanny Hill look like a dead Pope... and finally among the lamellibranch bivalves, that most depraved of the whole sub-species - the whelk. The whelk is nothing but a homosexual of the worst kind. This gay boy of the gastropods, this queer crustacean, this mincing mollusc, this screaming, prancing, limp-wristed queen of the deep makes me sick. Mrs Jalin: Have you got one? Zorba: Here! (holds one up) Mrs Julin: Let's kill it. Disgusting. Doctor Bashir: "Of all the stories you told me, which were true and which weren't?" Elim Garak: "My dear Doctor, they're all true" Doctor Bashir: "Even the lies?" Elim Garak: "Especially the lies"
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Coragyps Member (Idle past 755 days) Posts: 5553 From: Snyder, Texas, USA Joined: |
I just saw yesterday where the entire opus of the TV series is available as a 16-DVD boxed set. I can almost feel my doom approaching.
"He's just resting."
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sidelined Member (Idle past 5928 days) Posts: 3435 From: Edmonton Alberta Canada Joined: |
The Galaxy song from "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life"
Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,And things seem hard or tough, And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft, And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough, Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolvingAnd reolving at nine thousand miles an hour. It's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned, 'Round the sun that is the source of all our power. Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, Are moving at a million miles a day, In the outer spiral arm, at fourteen thousand miles an hour, Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way. Our galaxy itself contains a hundred million stars;It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side; It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick, But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide. We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point, We go 'round every two hundred million years; And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions In this amazing and expanding universe. Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,In all of the directions it can whiz; As fast as it can go, that's the speed of light, you know, Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth; And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth! -- Eric Idle |
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FliesOnly Member (Idle past 4165 days) Posts: 797 From: Michigan Joined: |
Coragyps writes: I received the box set from my brother for Christmas. I have yet to sit down and watch any of them, cuz when I do I'm pretty much gonna be useless for the day.
I just saw yesterday where the entire opus of the TV series is available as a 16-DVD boxed set. I can almost feel my doom approaching.
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Tal Member (Idle past 5697 days) Posts: 1140 From: Fort Bragg, NC Joined: |
It's nothing but a little white rabbit. Love that one. "Damn. I could build a nuclear bomb, given the fissionable material, but I can't tame my computer." (1VB)Jerome - French Rocket Scientist |
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