The Monty Python Thread

...because it needs to be done, I could do with a laugh, and I know there are some fans around here. Let's hear favourite Python moments, quotes, etc."He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"and"Yes, we're all individuals!""I'm not"

The Life of Brian is so relevant to the discussion here that it could have its own thread in Faith & Belief.I liked the formation of the denominations bit; "we must gather shoes together in abundance".The Biggus Dickus scene had me in tears.

From "Life of Brian" again:
________Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man ”Stan: Or woman.Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan? You're putting us off.Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?Stan: I want to be one.Reg, Francis: What?Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me "Loretta".Reg: Wha'?Stan: It's my right as a man.Judith: Well,why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?Stan: I want to have babies.Reg: You want to have babies?!Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.Reg: But... you can't have babies.Stan: Don't you oppress me!Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan, you haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
________It is John Cleese who made that work so well for me.Cheers.

There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed,
But I've never been one of them.I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on.
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because...Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.Children: Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.Little Girl: Let the heathens spill theirs,
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.Children: Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.Mother: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.Men on toilets: Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
Women: If a sperm is wasted,
Children: God gets quite irate.Priest: Every sperm is sacred.
Bride and Groom: Every sperm is good.
Nannies: Every sperm is needed
Babies: In your neighbourhood!Everyone: Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
Undertakers: God needs everybody's.
Male mourner: Mine!
Female mourner: And mine!
Corpse: And mine!Nuns: Let the Pagans spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
Statues: God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.Everyone: Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!

Nietzsche and Hegel there. Karl Jaspers number seven on the outside, Wittgenstein there with him. There's Beckenbauer. Schelling's in there, Heidegger covering. Schopenhauer.And now it's the Greeks, Epicurus, Plotinus number six. Aristotle. Empedocles of Acragus and Democratus with him. There's Archimedes. Socrates, there he is, Socrates. Socrates there, going through.There's the ball! There's the ball. And Nietzsche there. Nietzsche, number ten in this German side.Kant moving up on the outside. Schlegel's on the left, the Germans moving very well in these opening moments....Well there may be no score, but there's certainly no lack of excitement here. As you can see, Nietzsche has just been booked for arguing with the referee. He accused Confucius of having no free will, and Confucius says, "Name go in book".And this is Nietzsche's third booking in four games.And who's that? It's Karl Marx, Karl Marx is warming up. It looks as though there's going to be a substitution in the German side....Well now, with just over a minute left, a replay on Tuesday looks absolutely vital. There's Archimedes, and I think he's had an idea."Eureka!"Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes, Archimedes out to Heraclitus, he beats HegelHeraclitus a little flick, here he comes on the far post, Socrates is there, Socrates heads it in! Socrates has scored!The Greeks are going mad, the Greeks are going mad! Socrates scores, got a beautiful cross from Archimedes. The Germans are disputing it.Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside.[genius, pure genius]

This is part of a sketch I show my invert zoo class, as there is very little funny material on invertebrates (Episode 32, Mollusk reproduction sketch)Zorba: Another loose-living gastropod is the periwinkle. This shameless little libertine with its characteristic ventral locomotion ... is not the marrying kind: Anywhere anytime is its motto. Up with the shell and they're at it.Mrs Jalin: How about the lamellibranchs?Zorba: I'm coming to them ... the great scallop (holds one up) ... this tatty, scrofulous old rapist, is second in depravity only to the common clam. (holds up a clam) This latter is a fight whore, a harlot, a trollop, a cynical bed-hopping firm-breasted Rabelaisian bit of sea food that makes Fanny Hill look like a dead Pope... and finally among the lamellibranch bivalves, that most depraved of the whole sub-species - the whelk. The whelk is nothing but a homosexual of the worst kind. This gay boy of the gastropods, this queer crustacean, this mincing mollusc, this screaming, prancing, limp-wristed queen of the deep makes me sick.Mrs Jalin: Have you got one?Zorba: Here! (holds one up)Mrs Julin: Let's kill it. Disgusting.

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Doctor Bashir: "Of all the stories you told me, which were true and which weren't?"
Elim Garak: "My dear Doctor, they're all true"
Doctor Bashir: "Even the lies?"
Elim Garak: "Especially the lies"

I just saw yesterday where the entire opus of the TV series is available as a 16-DVD boxed set. I can almost feel my doom approaching."He's just resting."

I received the box set from my brother for Christmas. I have yet to sit down and watch any of them, cuz when I do I'm pretty much gonna be useless for the day.

Love that one.

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"Damn. I could build a nuclear bomb, given the fissionable material, but I can't tame my computer." (1VB)Jerome - French Rocket Scientist