The Bible on Sex, Love, and Marriage

I think it is fatal to use this as an excuse though because our children are going to be exposed to provacative imagery and such no matter what we say or do about it. I think the problem is that parents response to what they see as perversions in the world is to make their children blind and deaf to the reality of the world instead of preparing them for it. Christians cannot blame the world for their failures because in reality this problem has existed throughout history. I wonder how Christian parents raised their kids properly in Corinth with a temple to Aphrodite just up the hill? We will never isolate our children from sexuality so why try?To get this back on the topic of the Biblical plan for marriage, I think all the studies and statistics are not going to produce an acceptable answer for those who disagree with dpardo and asciikerr. What it boils down to is that we don't have a representative population of people who are modeling the Biblical plan correctly to determine marriages are better off. Also, just using divorce rates may or may not be a good indicator of quality of marriage as it relates to religious convictions vs egalitarian principles. Just from the couples I know who are reasonably matched well and who are following the Biblical plan of marriage I do see a noticable difference in the quality of their lifestyle compared to others. Of course this might just be a coincidence due to my choice of friends and I do see marriages that succeed quite nicely where both couples are not religious.I guess I am just saying that you can't measure the quality of a way of life based on a discrete statistic such as divorce especially in a day and age when the average "Christian" in those polls may or may not actually be practicing the Biblical principles for marriage AND may not have had the healthiest indoctrination into marriage.

Thats awful and yet all too common in our day and in the past if you really think about it. I think we really are living in a time when people in general are becoming more enlightened about who would make a good mate for them while the church is stagnant in this regard. I think the reason that conservative Christians are not realizing some of this is that they see how most non-religious people are doing it which is by trial and error that includes a lot of practices that they don't agree with (i.e. sex before marriage, living together, heck even dating if you want to be ultra conservative).What they need to realize is that the only real difference is time. People are in relationships longer before they get married and it seems to me like the longer you know someone the better chance you have of sustaning a meaningful relationship. Does anyone know of any studies related to this?Now that I think of it, nearly all of the newlyweds I know of my generation (married 5 months myself) who got married after knowing eachother less than a year are having problems regardless of their religion.Maybe part of the problem is that young Christians couples can't/don't wait the years or longer that other couples enjoy before getting married. If this is true then that might be the reason for some of those divorce statistics.

Hi Dan Carroll,You wrote: What does this mean?I'm not playing around. I'm trying to make a point.I have a notion about what is meant by the phrase I asked MeganC about. However, I want to know what she meant by it.I think the concept of incompatibility in marriage is yet another issue that is confusing and misused.

Actually I watched part of a documentary called Texas Virgins last night - the entire theme of the documentary was that Texan youngsters are essentially being endoctrinated by church and school and community to be sexually repressed and disfunctional, even once they marry.Just thought I'd let you know (since you appear to be a Texan) that someone thought Texas had enough of an issue to make a documentary about it. I'm not sure how this counters your experience, and the sexual repression may be relative to the rest of the country.Considering the amount that George W. has bragged about his 'abstinence' programs, I thought that such 'teaching' was a part of Texas life.Is it the schools more than the churches, perhaps? Or the current generation of young people?

Good gravy, man. It sure sounds like you're trying to play around.Two people who, if married, will simply not work together. Their personalities do not mesh. They will make each other unhappy, no matter what type of marriage they enter into.This is not a rough concept. For instance, if Ann Coulter and Michael Moore enter into a marriage, even a good old Jesus-fearin' one, they will almost certainly not be happy together.If you need it explained more plainly than that, well, I'm sorry, I just can't help you.

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"If I had to write ten jokes about potholders, I don't think I could do it. But I could write ten jokes about Catholicism in the next twenty minutes. I guess I'm drawn to religion because I can be provocative without harming something people really care about, like their cars."
-George Meyer, Simpsons writer

Hi Jazzns,You wrote: I think you overlooked the last part of what you quoted me.I agree with you said regarding children being exposed to provocative imagery despite our attempts. But, as I stated, a solution for our children is to guard their minds by not allowing certain thoughts to brood in their minds.For example:As a Christian, while observing the waves, I see a scantily-clad girl at the beach. I look at her because she happened to cross my field of view. What I do now, beyond just noticing her, determines my fate. I can choose to stare at her and entertain a sexual fantasy or I can choose to re-focus my attention on the waves and stay pure.This solution isn't something I just made up. It's a biblical solution:2Corinthians 10:3-5:

I disagree with your conclusion here.I think that a marriage will work if the husband and wife are committed to making it work. This is a principle of biblical marriage- to discard the option of divorce from the beginning and then proceed to work on the marriage. I'll concede that some marriages need much more work than others, though.

Right. Sorry. I read it again and your just more briefly agreed with me. At first glance I thought you suggested that you were blaming all the sex crazed young Christians on the current state of sexuality in our culture. Sorry for the confusion.

No problem.

It probably happens more the farther right that specific institution of Christianity is. It is sad really though that people have such a narrow view of the Bible. One of the first things God commanded man to do was be fruitful and multiply. If that isn't an endorsement of a healthy sex life then I don't know what is. Maybe some of the more versed Christians can help. Is there any part of the Bible that can be twisted to say that sex even during marriage is bad? Ack! Thats all I need is another reason to dislike that man. Thanks!

What do you mean by "making a marriage work"?

What conclusion? You asked me what I meant by something; I told you. Which is, of course, why no two people were ever in an unhappy marriage before divorce became widespread.

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"If I had to write ten jokes about potholders, I don't think I could do it. But I could write ten jokes about Catholicism in the next twenty minutes. I guess I'm drawn to religion because I can be provocative without harming something people really care about, like their cars."
-George Meyer, Simpsons writer

Hi Pink Sasquatch,You wrote: I mean making the marriage last, making it fulfilling, joyful, etc.

I think that marital happiness is related to how much effort the husband and wife are putting into the marriage to make it happy.

Love? Lust? Do they figure in? Or it is more of business-type partnership?From your comments to Dan, it seems like you believe that any two people could make a successful marriage if they simply get married, remove the possibility of divorce, and "work" on their marriage.Is this what you are saying? It seems a bit far-fetched to me... and like it would end in a lot of unhappily married couples...I prefer the idea of finding your soulmate before you get married, so that these issues don't arise - (and I think that some traditional Christian constraints on 'courtship' reduce the likelihood of finding your soulmate.)Personally, I don't think that marriage should, or need be, a lot of "work".