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Author Topic:   The Return of Humor
contracycle
Inactive Member


Message 46 of 302 (128561)
07-29-2004 6:49 AM
Reply to: Message 38 by coffee_addict
07-28-2004 6:02 PM


Re: Here we go...
quote:
By recognizing that it's racism, you recognize that there's no such thing as a superior race over another or an inferior race under another.
Then why engage in its propagation?
{Fixed quote box - AM}
This message has been edited by Adminnemooseus, 07-30-2004 10:02 PM

This message is a reply to:
 Message 38 by coffee_addict, posted 07-28-2004 6:02 PM coffee_addict has not replied

Dr Jack
Member
Posts: 3514
From: Immigrant in the land of Deutsch
Joined: 07-14-2003
Member Rating: 8.7


Message 47 of 302 (128563)
07-29-2004 7:54 AM


Can anyone remember the name of the comedian who did the refored bigot act? With jokes like:
An pakistani, an indian, and a jew walk into a bar....
What a wonderful example of multicultural intergration.

Replies to this message:
 Message 74 by MangyTiger, posted 07-30-2004 10:34 PM Dr Jack has not replied

MrHambre
Member (Idle past 1393 days)
Posts: 1495
From: Framingham, MA, USA
Joined: 06-23-2003


Message 48 of 302 (128569)
07-29-2004 8:53 AM
Reply to: Message 45 by contracycle
07-29-2004 6:48 AM


Freedom Sucks
Contracycle,
It takes a special sort of stupidity and callousness, a superhuman ignorance, to accuse those of us who tell bad jokes of being in league with those who shove innocent people in cattle cars and ship them off to their extermination by the millions. You seem to possess just that exact measure of stupidity.
There's a relationship among someone's intelligence, his ability to deal with ambiguity, his tolerance of the views of people who don't think exactly the same way he does, and his fitness to function in a free society. I'm not ashamed to be able to deal with the thoughts and views of people I don't agree with, and maybe I get a kick out of feeling superior to those I consider less enlightened than myself. However, I can't imagine how stunted and bigoted someone has to be if he can't bear to hear views expressed that aren't absolutely identical to his own.
In assuming that the only aim in telling racist or sexist jokes is to dehumanize (and later exterminate) the targets of these jokes, you are making an oversimplification so sweeping it boggles the mind. I'm impressed both by how lacking you are in imagination and how fearful you are of other people's freedom to think for themselves. There are those who aren't equipped to deal with the complexity of human society, and the moral intricacies of freedom of expression. You seem like a perfect example of someone who resents being in a world of people with the audacity to be different from him.
In short, I guess you only support diversity as long as everyone thinks the same as you. How typical.
regards,
Esteban Hambre

This message is a reply to:
 Message 45 by contracycle, posted 07-29-2004 6:48 AM contracycle has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 65 by contracycle, posted 07-30-2004 5:40 AM MrHambre has replied

Prince Lucianus
Inactive Member


Message 49 of 302 (128574)
07-29-2004 9:32 AM


(A) Creationists debate (B) Evolutionists
A: Show me a gromblewallop.
B: What's a gromblewallop?
A: A small furry creature with spines, that rolls up into balls.
B: You mean like this hedgehog?
A: No. That's a hedgehog. I asked for a gromblewallop.
B:
A: Knives are useless for cutting. I tried and the blade was all soft and wobbly.
B: That sounds like a rubber knife. They're not really knives.
A: No. It was a knife. Knives don't work.
B:
A: I want undenyable proof.
B: How about this? No one denies this.
A: I deny it. So it's not undenyable. Show me undenyable proof.
B:
B: Hey, I look at this hedgehg.
A: I don't see one.
B: Well it's down in that box. Just look down.
A: I asked for a hedgehog. It's your job to show it to me.
B: Seriously. You just have to tilt your head.
A: No Hedgehog. They clearly don't exist.
B:
As seen on another forum.
Had to post it, sorry
Lucy
This message has been edited by Prince Lucianus, 07-29-2004 08:33 AM

Bible
Search Results
"Death & Dead" were found 827 times in 751 verses.
Thats a Whole Lotta Suffering
"Dear God, I understand that if I fail to believe in you, I'll burn in Hell for all eternity. Thanks for being such a good sport about it." -- Dr. Oswald Pratt

nator
Member (Idle past 2169 days)
Posts: 12961
From: Ann Arbor
Joined: 12-09-2001


Message 50 of 302 (128599)
07-29-2004 11:01 AM
Reply to: Message 32 by Joe T
07-28-2004 11:26 AM


quote:
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to screw it in and three to discuss the degradation experienced by the socket.
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 32 by Joe T, posted 07-28-2004 11:26 AM Joe T has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 55 by One_Charred_Wing, posted 07-29-2004 3:11 PM nator has replied
 Message 57 by jar, posted 07-29-2004 3:18 PM nator has not replied

coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 51 of 302 (128620)
07-29-2004 12:34 PM
Reply to: Message 45 by contracycle
07-29-2004 6:48 AM


Re: Pandering to Political Correctness
I tend to get cranky everytime someone compares anything less than mass murder and genocide to the holocaust. It is like comparing Bush to Hitler.
A lot of people died innocently in the holocaust. The least we can do is not see the event as equally evil to racist comments with the intention of humor.

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 45 by contracycle, posted 07-29-2004 6:48 AM contracycle has not replied

Cthulhu
Member (Idle past 5852 days)
Posts: 273
From: Roe Dyelin
Joined: 09-09-2003


Message 52 of 302 (128636)
07-29-2004 1:26 PM


Since contracycle is so offended by jokes that apparently only offend some people even though the offend everyone, I guess I should tell jokes that undeniably offend everybody!
What's worse than finding ten babies in one trashcan?
Finding one baby in ten trashcans.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
The live one at the bottom.
What's worse than that?
He's eating his way out
What's worse than that?
He makes it.
What's worse than that?
He goes back for seconds.
This message has been edited by Cthulhu, 07-29-2004 12:26 PM

Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Proudly attempting to Google-Bomb Kent "The Idiot" Hovind's website
Idiot

Replies to this message:
 Message 53 by coffee_addict, posted 07-29-2004 1:34 PM Cthulhu has not replied

coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 53 of 302 (128640)
07-29-2004 1:34 PM
Reply to: Message 52 by Cthulhu
07-29-2004 1:26 PM


Cthulhu writes:
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
The live one at the bottom.
What's worse than that?
He's eating his way out
What's worse than that?
He makes it.
What's worse than that?
He goes back for seconds.
I don't know. That sounds a lot like Dawn of the Dead 2004.

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 52 by Cthulhu, posted 07-29-2004 1:26 PM Cthulhu has not replied

mark24
Member (Idle past 5195 days)
Posts: 3857
From: UK
Joined: 12-01-2001


Message 54 of 302 (128660)
07-29-2004 3:06 PM
Reply to: Message 45 by contracycle
07-29-2004 6:48 AM


Re: Pandering to Political Correctness
Contracycle,
I will envertheless be requesting the moderators stop this board being used as a vehicle for hate speech.
Presumably any joke that has someone as the being the butt of it is hate speech? Like you've never laughed at a joke of this nature, ie. most of them?
Most Irishmen I know would laugh at any given Irish joke, why are they not supposed to laugh when the word "Irishman" becomes replaced with "negro"?
I loath racism with a passion, but most "racist" jokes are as harmless as the next. Never heard a honky joke & laughed at its cleverness? Probably not. Some people work a little too hard at being offended on behalf of themselves & others.
Two Scotsmen standing by the roadside. One said to the other, "can you smell perfume?". "Yes", says the other, "the English are coming".
Who do I complain to?
Lighten up, man.
Mark
This message has been edited by mark24, 07-29-2004 02:10 PM

There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those that understand binary, & those that don't

This message is a reply to:
 Message 45 by contracycle, posted 07-29-2004 6:48 AM contracycle has not replied

One_Charred_Wing
Member (Idle past 6155 days)
Posts: 690
From: USA West Coast
Joined: 11-21-2003


Message 55 of 302 (128663)
07-29-2004 3:11 PM
Reply to: Message 50 by nator
07-29-2004 11:01 AM


Feminism
Somehow I had the feeling you'd catch that one.
So, Schraf:
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?
Give her a shovel.
Why did the woman cross the road
Doesn't matter, she should be cookin' me dinner!
(Just remembered)
What do you do when you see your wife staggering around the house?
Shoot her again!
I rule
This message has been edited by Born2Preach, 07-29-2004 02:15 PM

This message is a reply to:
 Message 50 by nator, posted 07-29-2004 11:01 AM nator has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 56 by coffee_addict, posted 07-29-2004 3:15 PM One_Charred_Wing has not replied
 Message 59 by nator, posted 07-29-2004 5:17 PM One_Charred_Wing has replied
 Message 81 by macaroniandcheese, posted 08-02-2004 9:27 PM One_Charred_Wing has not replied

coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 56 of 302 (128666)
07-29-2004 3:15 PM
Reply to: Message 55 by One_Charred_Wing
07-29-2004 3:11 PM


Re: Feminism
B2P writes:
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?
Give her a shovel.
Hahahahaha. I totally didn't expect that when I read the question part.

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 55 by One_Charred_Wing, posted 07-29-2004 3:11 PM One_Charred_Wing has not replied

jar
Member (Idle past 394 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 57 of 302 (128669)
07-29-2004 3:18 PM
Reply to: Message 50 by nator
07-29-2004 11:01 AM


The female always makes the rules.
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.
The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.

Aslan is not a Tame Lion

This message is a reply to:
 Message 50 by nator, posted 07-29-2004 11:01 AM nator has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 58 by coffee_addict, posted 07-29-2004 3:29 PM jar has not replied

coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 58 of 302 (128677)
07-29-2004 3:29 PM
Reply to: Message 57 by jar
07-29-2004 3:18 PM


PROOF THAT GIRLS ARE EVIL
1. Girls require time and money
girls = time X money
2. We know that time is money.
3. Therefore, girls require money squared
4. We know that money is the root of all evil
5. Therefore, money squared equals evil
6. We are forced to conclude that girls equal evil

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 57 by jar, posted 07-29-2004 3:18 PM jar has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 82 by macaroniandcheese, posted 08-02-2004 9:29 PM coffee_addict has replied

nator
Member (Idle past 2169 days)
Posts: 12961
From: Ann Arbor
Joined: 12-09-2001


Message 59 of 302 (128715)
07-29-2004 5:17 PM
Reply to: Message 55 by One_Charred_Wing
07-29-2004 3:11 PM


Re: Feminism
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won't stop for directions.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.
Q: What do men and beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know. It's never happened.
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
This message has been edited by schrafinator, 07-29-2004 04:19 PM

This message is a reply to:
 Message 55 by One_Charred_Wing, posted 07-29-2004 3:11 PM One_Charred_Wing has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 61 by One_Charred_Wing, posted 07-29-2004 6:21 PM nator has not replied
 Message 64 by Rand Al'Thor, posted 07-29-2004 11:54 PM nator has not replied

jar
Member (Idle past 394 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 60 of 302 (128743)
07-29-2004 6:06 PM


If this were really a man's world, Rodin's The Thinker would be thinking...

Remember to leave the seat up.
Remember to leave the seat up.


Aslan is not a Tame Lion

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