Women's Reactions to Rape

Why don't more women carry guns?Because unless you are going to carry a gun in your hand, especially when you are on a date or hanging out with male friends or relatives, most rapes are not going to be prevented.Stranger "attacker in the shrubs" rape is much rarer than rape by a person known to the woman, in her own home.

If I, as a woman, start really believing that just about every man I see is probably going to rape me if he can, including all of my male coworkers, friends, classmates, and family members, then I am going to have some serious problems with relationships with the opposite sex, don't you think?Why put the onus on the victim to stop the attacker instead of taking action, as a man yourself, to talk to all of the men and boys you can get to about rape and how it isn't OK?

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Are you under some illusion that males are generally not understanding that rape is wrong or something?

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In a UCLA study, 35% of college age men said that they would violently rape if they could be assured of getting away with it.That's a pretty big chunk of men. I undersrtand that it is only one study, but it's very chilling to me that the number would be that high.

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It's pretty damn clear schraf and the message is getting heard. Rapists DON'T LISTEN. That's the problem. They have issues which prevent that.

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Are you saying that there is a tiny minority of men who are "bad guy rapists" and that the vast majority of men would never, ever force themselves upon anyone, or even consider it?I don't think that is the case.I knew a very kind, wonderful, highly educated guy once that told me this story about when he was an undergraduate student. He was telling me about how he had this huge crush on this beautiful girl, and she finally agreed to go out with him, but she got really drunk at the bar, and he helped her home and into her apartment and on to her bed. And then he told me how proud he was of himself that he didn't take advantage of her passed-out state and "have sex with her".I was shocked and disgusted. He wanted a pat on the back for not raping her.He probably got that pat on the back from all of his buddies, too.The point is that, especially WRT date rape, the same act doesn't get classified as rape or coersion by many men when it is classified as rape or coersion by many women.Why is that, other than more men than women don't "get it".

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I'm sorry America is a sick society.

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Hey, before you go any futher with the holier-than-thou attitude, you might want to examine how much damage your beloved unfettered, amoral, free market capitalism injures people in the form of poverty, environmental degradation, etc.Robber baron capitalists have injured plenty of people.

I think part of the problem with how women (and probably men, too) consider rape worse than other violence is because sex is supposed to be pleasurable.I mean, if someone gets beaten, it's something that most people are not going to ever associate with pleasure or fun; it just hurts and is scary. If someone gets shot or stabbed, that's even more painful and frightening and traumatic.Rape, however, is distorting what is generally a natural, pleasurable, sensual act into a painful, potentially life-threatening attack.That is different from other attacks in my opinion.

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Personally I did not find it worse because it involved sex, and I think it's because I didn't have prudish values regarding sex. Indeed that was one of the things that saved me from more psychological damage.

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I think that this is important.The thing is, too, is that even if you are a modest, plain vanilla sort of person WRT sexuality, I don't think that it's too strange to try to think of a rape as completely separate from real sex.I think that would be a really good way to compartmentalize it, so as not to let it affect your entire sexuality.

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I would also point out that there are plenty of people with rape fantasies as well as hardcore S&M fantasies which have only to do with getting beaten and have nothing to do with sexual acitivity.

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Plenty?Maybe in your circle of friends. However, among those people who have these fantasies, do they go out looking to get attacked, raped, and/or beaten up?Or, do they want to do things in a more controlled way that fulfills the specifics of their fantasy?

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One of the twisted messages I see coming from prudism is that pure S&M and brutality is tolerated and in some cases championed (just look at boxing) while anything remotely sexual is reviled (like just one little nipple).

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I agree completely. That thing with Janet's nipple was so stupid.

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Indeed, prostitution is illegal because it involves pleasure for money which is considered dangerous, while S&M dungeons and professional dominatrixes are perfectly legal because they beat and injure people for money which is harmless because it is not sex.

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Yeah, that is wierd.

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However, I think your point is an interesting one and it's going to occupy my mind for a bit.

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Thanks. All of this S&M and rape fantasy stuff is interesting, but I would be very surprised if the people who actively participate in theses realms were more than a small minority in the overall population.

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It's not fair to put boxing down when it yeilds so much potential safety for women about to be raped.

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How does boxing do this?

How will boxing help in most rape situations?Most rapes are not "stranger jumps out and attacks".Most rapes are done in the girl's or woman's home, by a relative or someone known to the victim. Often they are someone the woman is currently dating or has been involved with in the past, that she has reason to trust.

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women aren't raised to be very aware or observant.

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I don't think that's very true. In comparative experiments, women gernerally test out to be more aware of their surroundings and more observant than men.I will say that women are raised to be trusting and obedient, which is more to the point.

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Schraphinator- "Most rapes are not 'stranger jumps out and attacks'".
This is true, as we have established this. We were discussing the legitamacy of Boxing when this does occur.

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We were?I thought we were talking about all rapes.

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Boxing is unlike kickboxing in that the fighter does not "give" their leg to their attacker, a serious mistake for a woman being charged at by a larger attacker as it can result in the attacker grabbing the leg and the fight ending up on the ground.

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I was under the impression that women are actually in a much more powerful position on the ground because their legs are much more powerful than their upper bodies.Men will always be able to overpower and outreach a woman if they are both using their upper bodies and arms in a struggle, but women have the edge with their lower bodies.

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As a grappler I will endorse groundfighting as a great importance for self defense, as over 90% of attacks and fights do end up on the ground. However, if your implying that it would be safer for a woman to be pinned on the ground under a man when an attempted rape is taking place...thats simply faulty reasoning. Not only can the woman no longer run away or throw powerful strikes, but she isright where the attcker wants her to be. So unless your speaking of using submission holds and chokes, its a very bad thing to be underneath someone.

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No, I am talking about getting knocked down but then staying down and using your legs to "punch" instead of trying to get up right away.

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How many women do you know with stronger legs than men?

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Me.Please note I am talking about proportional strength.My husband, even when I have been lifting a lot and even though I have a much stronger upper body and arms in general than most women, can put me in the dust WRT the amount of weight he can bench press or overhead lift.However, we leg press very similar weights. He is doing about 280 and I am at around 250.(note: That's me jumping the horse in my avatar picture.)This message has been edited by schrafinator, 11-18-2004 10:01 AM

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I am willing to put my right hand on the line that over 20% of rape accusations are completly and entirely false.

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And you base this claim upon what evidence?

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Men, by and large, are not beasts, most would probably consider themselves more intelligent than women

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Really? Most would?Damn, we have a long way to go to eliminate patriarchy and the hatred of women, then.

right on