Women's Reactions to Rape

I'm trying hard not to be sexist, but I don't understand the way women react to rape.Here's Rei from another thread: Why don't more women carry guns?Let's suppose, for a moment, that there exists a large, hairy, vicious predator. Like a kind of werewolf. It can become invisible at will and is capable of striking with incredible speed. It hunts by the smell of testosterone. As a result, the vast, vast majority of its victims are men.Let us say that attempts to mask one's scent are ineffective. The beast is very quick and intelligent and more than capable of eluding law enforcement authorities. The animals are so prolific that, at this point, there's a one-in-three chance that a man will be victimized, possibly at the cost of his life, and certainly at the cost of grevious injury and mental distress.What, then, would we predict the reaction of the male community would be?a) Attempts to raise "awareness" of an issue that, as near as we can tell, everybody's already aware of. Is there any human being at all who hasn't either been raped or knows someone who has?b) Attempts to "take back the night" by organizing groups of men to walk, unarmed, around areas most frequented by these vicious beasts.c) A vast proliferation of high-powered firearms among men. Firearms would become a fashion statement; as required an accessory as a necktie or a wristwatch. Hundreds of men would be loaded for bear and trained to shoot accurately; while accidental shooting deaths might rise slightly, hundreds of slain beasts would be found each morning.I don't understand why the response of women to the vast proliferation of crimes against their person is to shrug and say "I hope it doesn't happen to me". Why aren't the karate studios filled with women? Why doesn't Prada make a line of designer pistols for women? You should be able to buy switchblades in those restroom condom machines. You should be able to shop for handguns in Victoria's Secret. Self-defense kata should appear, in illustrated form, on the back of the Tampax box.Debate, please? Why is the female reaction to the problem of rape so ineffectual?This message has been edited by crashfrog, 09-30-2004 06:48 PM

Do you think that, perhaps, that puts women at risk?At any rate, somehow your cops get by without guns, and I believe that its due to their intense hand-to-hand training. Why don't more women take advantage of that training? If most men were attacked by people they knew and trusted, who suddenly turned into werewolves, do you think that men would not be armed, even when with those they trusted? That still doesn't really explain why women don't carry them. Men would, even if the guns turned out to be useless. Men carried swords for about a hundred years after they lost any sort of combat usefulness.This message has been edited by crashfrog, 09-30-2004 07:05 PM

Why is that, do you think? The English are just better-behaved? And you think that, by virtue of magic clairvoyance, the police will contrive to be present in every situation where you would otherwise have been attacked?What I struggle to understand is the mindset of someone who believes that the police will always be there to protect them. If I saw that I was at risk of being attacked, with no warning, in each of those places, yes. You bet your ass I would. If it seemed like anyone I knew could turn into a potential attacker, you bet your ass I'd have a gun at the ready.Once Miromoto Musashi was taking one of his all-too-infrequent baths. (While famous for his skill at all edged weapons, he was not renown for his personal hygene.) His enemies contrived to attack him, 20-to-1, attacking from both doors of the small bathhouse, thinking to catch him unarmed.Little did they realize that Musashi was bathing with his sword. He cut down half of them, and then cut his way out through the bathhouse wall.Musashi fought over 60 duels in his lifetime and was never defeated. He lived to the ripe old age of.. I forget, but he was pretty old (and pretty ripe.)

I think that girls should be taught at an early age how to kill somebody much larger than they are with their bare hands. I'm not a fan of guns, but I do think women should know how to defend themselves effectively.

Ok, that last reply said it was from Crashfrog, but it is really from me, Entomologista. This message is also from Entomologista; I'm not sure why I'm not showing up as myself.

Look, CK, I realize that this must seem like stereotypical American gun fetishism/paranoia... but it's not paranoia when they're really out to get you.Women are really being attacked. And it's not just one or two. It's almost every woman, it seems.How many women have to be attacked before widespread proliferation of self-defense techniques stops being paranoid and becomes simple good sense?

According to you, everyone in the UK. Why else would you eschew self-defense in favor of the "pray to God that a cop is there" strategy?

Right. And what I'm saying is, if it were men getting raped, we would be. We would be armed at all times.We have been in the past, you know. It wasn't that long ago that "male jewelry" was another way of describing one's personal weapon.You see, I didn't ask why its a bad idea for more women to carry guns. I asked why they don't. If it were men, the fact that the gun might not help in the vast majority of cases would mean nothing. The fact that it would help, occasionally, and might give a rapist pause, is more than enough reason. Yes. If it's the other person, I don't see the problem. What's the problem with shooting rapists?Look, women: you live on a planet where you're physically outclassed by almost half of all human beings. They've demonstrated over and over again that many of them (us!) bear no compunction against attacks on your person.And your response is to hope it doesn't happen to you?! That's the best you've got? I don't get it.

Why don't women do this, though? If I knew that every male aquaintance I had was, realistically, a potential rapist, I'd be armed at all times. Heavily. I'd encourage women to do the same, and men would just have to get used to it - get used to the fact that any woman they know would have the possibility to end their lives if things got out of hand.In other words, men would have to live like women do.

So, a little friction in your interpersonal relationships is worse than grevious crimes against your person?You don't think those priorities are a little misplaced? Yeah, how well has that ever worked?I have no power to compel rapists. I've never been witness to a rape, or been in a position to intervene. The only person who can stop it are the people involved; the rapist and the victim. If the rapist was going to stop, he wouldn't have started. That leaves the victim.I'm not putting the onus on the woman to stop the attacker; I'm wondering why it doesn't occur to women to make preparations to stop it. Who else can? It's bad when women get raped, and it's never their fault; but why is submission a better idea than a prepared resistance?

There's no shortage of gun owners in Canada, from what I've heard.Like I said, it's not paranoia when they're actually out to get you. Women are at risk of being raped - staggering risk, if the statistics are to be believed.It's like a war against women. Why won't they fight back? Because it's not easy? Because it won't always work? Those aren't good reasons.This message has been edited by crashfrog, 10-01-2004 12:39 AM

I agree, but we hardly make gun ownership attractive or easy for women. All the handguns I've seen are fairly heavy and difficult for a woman to conceal, aim, or fire without a fair bit of exercise. Yes, exactly. I don't know if it's just men, or just a certain type of man, or what, but it seems like you have the same understanding I do - that mere possession of a firearm does something to you. It makes you aware. It gives you an option that you wouldn't otherwise have - the option to kill someone at range.Why wouldn't women, demonstrated to be targets, avail themselves of that security? Not the security of the firearm, but the security of awareness?

From what I've read, when you're completely powerless, you go into a fugue state. Women being raped often report a sensation of no longer being in their own bodies.But that state is prompted by powerlessness. Why would a woman set themselves up for that by failing to prepare; failing to give themselves options?

Not so. Guns cock themselves when you pull the trigger.What you'd need is the revolver in easy reach, in your purse, pointed out the front. Leave the hammer down on an empty cylinder. Somebody attacks you? Shove your hand in your purse, punch the purse against his chest, and fire. He's not going to know what you're doing because he doesn't see the gun, so he doesn't react. You can't miss with the weapon pushed right against him. The trigger pull cocks the hammer and advances the cylinder. You'll ruin your purse, but so what? This sort of situation-analysis we're doing is the basis of all self-defense schools. "If he did this, what would I do?"But no school of self-defense answers that question with "hrm, it wouldn't work; I'd better just let him rape and kill me." Yeah, it's not going to be easy. It's going to be hard to wield the weapon in an effective way. But that's not a reason not to give yourself the options that a weapon gives you. Rapists are opportunistic. They're looking for an easy mark. Brandishing a gun makes you not an easy mark. No rapist is going to try to dodge bullets to attack you at that point. Millions of American families own firearms, millions of Americans use them for personal protection, without incident. Do a simple risk analysis, here. Which do you think is more likely? Your average woman getting raped, or an experienced gun owner injured by their own weapon?It's like you're telling me "well, my cousin was killed in a car accident, and my brother was killed in a car accident, and I have this coworker who's paralyzed from the neck down because of a car accident; but I'm not going to wear my seatbelt because it makes it too hard to eat in the car." You know what's not going to stop an attacker? Leaving yourself no option but to lay there and pretend its not happening.This message has been edited by crashfrog, 10-01-2004 10:06 AM

Yes, I don't mean to single rape out; violence against women is epidemic.Which is why it's staggering to me that the only response from women, it seems, is to improve how we counsel victims. Yes, absolutely. I don't mean to offer guns as a panacea, but there is a reason that we don't use swords anymore as a method of personal protection. That reason is the avalibility of superior weapons called "guns."With the average woman's body, you will not, in all likelyhood, be able to outgrapple an athletic man who has the advantage of surprise. But a gun gives you lethal force regardless of your physical strength. They aren't magic. You will have to train with the weapon.But if the alternative is submission to victimhood, why is that too much to ask? Yes. But remember, when he gave up the steel sword, he carved a wooden one from an oar. He didn't give up preparedness; he merely exchanged one weapon for another.Musashi remarked what a tragedy it would be to die with any weapon yet undrawn. When your life is on the line, why wouldn't you avail yourself of every defensive option? Awesome. How long have you studied martial arts? Which art?