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Author | Topic: The Return of Humor | |||||||||||||||||||
Adminnemooseus Administrator Posts: 3974 Joined: |
My ISP's spam filter has been very effective, but something still occassionly slips through.
Shean Ohara & Associates, #456 Delta Road Ikoton Av. Apapa. Lagos Nigeria. Dear Adminnemooseus , I am Barrister Shean O'hara a solicitor at law. I am thePersonal attorney to Mr.Mark Adminnemooseus a national of your country, who used to own an oil servicing company in Nigeria. On the 10st of April 2002,my client, his wife and their three Children were involved in a plane crash involving an ADC Airline which claimed their lives. Since then I have made several inquiries to yourembassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives but this has proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided totrack his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. ... It goes on quite a bit further, but I think the above is enough. Seems that the Adminnemoooseus family has some shady members (with Halliburton connections?). Adminnemooseus
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jar Member (Idle past 394 days) Posts: 34026 From: Texas!! Joined: |
We always knew you were something special. Now, with the new wealth you've gained, will you stock the community bar with something better than Old Milwaukee?
Aslan is not a Tame Lion
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Adminnemooseus Administrator Posts: 3974 Joined: |
I'm guessing that others here are getting their personal variation of the message. This forum is the only home of Adminnemooseus.
I'll direct Barrister Shean O'hara to invest the money in Huber Bock beer, to be shipped to Admin@. Percy can start a new announcements topic to distribute the beer. AM
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
I deleted an email yesterday. Now, I really regreted about not saving it.
I got an email from a lesbian couple who wanted to find a sperm donor because they wanted to have a baby. My roommate and I couldn't stop laughing after we read the email. The Laminator We are the bog. Resistance is voltage over current.
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
Here is one that I think is absolutely great!
Replying to an invitation to the Scientist's Ball: Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm. Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend. Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought of it. Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research. Ohm resisted the idea at first. Boyle said he was under too much pressure. Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience. Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam. Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco. Freud asked: "Can I come with my mother?" Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight. Dr Jekyll declined - he hadn't been feeling himself lately. Morse's reply: I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash. Heisenberg was uncertain if he could make it. Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency. Henry begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol. Audubon said he'd have to wing it. Hawking said he'd try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule. Darwin said he'd have to see what evolved. Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he? Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out. Descartes said he'd think about it. Newton was moved to attend. Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality. And Pavlov? Pavlov was just drooling at the thought. The Laminator We are the bog. Resistance is voltage over current.
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
Why thin, flat things rise and glide on the way down: physicists finally solve the falling-paper problem!
http://www.physorg.com/news1630.html He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged. The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
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Yaro Member (Idle past 6496 days) Posts: 1797 Joined: |
This guy dies and shows up at the pearly gates. The angle there greats him:
"Hi, welcome to heaven! Would you like a tour before you go to your new residence?" The man replies: "Sure that would be great!" So the angle takes him thrugh the gates and they start walking down a golden path. Soon they come upon an area full of minerats, mosques, Music and song. The man asks "What is this?". The angel replies "This is the muslem heaven, you see we build each religion a special heaven per their ideological specifications." They continue walking, soon they come across a heaven where everyone is medittating, radiating light and chanting. "This is the Buhdist heaven where all achive enlightenment and 'oneness' with the unverse." Onward they travel till they come to a heaven with people dancing in the streats, drinking wine, and generaly having a good time. "This is the heaven of the Jews where no one has to worry, and all earthly plesures are shared by all." Finaly they come to a heaven done up in a gothic style, huge cathedrals and crosses. It is very still here except for the faint music of harps. The angel says "Shhhh... we must be very quiet." The man asks "Why do we need to be quiet?" The angel replies: "This is the christian heaven, and they think their the only ones here." This message has been edited by Yaro, 11-13-2004 11:36 AM
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Silent H Member (Idle past 5820 days) Posts: 7405 From: satellite of love Joined: |
I originally posted a link to a news story I thought was funny. It turns out to be a hoax. I suppose that's two jokes in one, it was funny and I bought it.
In any case the joke was on me and so I'm killing the post so as not to spread any false news reports. This message has been edited by holmes, 11-17-2004 02:35 PM holmes "...what a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.."(D. Bros) |
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. - "Nurse,"- he mumbles from behind the mask, -"are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, -"I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet." He struggles again to ask, -"Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look and says, -"There's nothing wrong with them!" The man slowly removes his oxygen mask and says very slowly, -"That was very nice but listen very, very closely - are.... my... test...results...back?
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Dr Jack Member Posts: 3514 From: Immigrant in the land of Deutsch Joined: Member Rating: 8.7 |
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Ooook! Member (Idle past 5815 days) Posts: 340 From: London, UK Joined: |
ROFL!!
That is priceless. I especially liked : "The chap who booked him didn't realise. The DJ sounded white on the phone."
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Dr Jack Member Posts: 3514 From: Immigrant in the land of Deutsch Joined: Member Rating: 8.7 |
Yup. The BNP: we're not racist; would we lie to you, guv'nor?
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
40 Classic Bushisms and Gaffes
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Silent H Member (Idle past 5820 days) Posts: 7405 From: satellite of love Joined: |
Just to let you know, I didn't find the joke funny, though I wasn't sure why. I told it to my gf just to try it on on someone else and she laughed like crazy. Maybe it's better said then read.
holmes "...what a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.."(D. Bros)
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1405 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
How many ID-ists does it take to change a lightbulb?
we are limited in our ability to understand by our ability to understand RebelAAmerican.Zen[Deist
{{{Buddha walks off laughing with joy}}}
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