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Now, before you offer your insight just get in mind that I'm basically like the typical capricorn (I'm using astrology for analogy sake) and if I was in a party (like that commercial) I would be the one standing with my drink, in appropriate conservative clothing sipping on my rum and coke while talking to a hot girl I'd love to take home (and she wants the same, but is wating for me to say the right thing so she can say her thing and then we can go home together) but for some stupid reason I can't bear to do the expected boring thing and lower myself to needless convention, consequently, I go home alone. But what do I do??
To be pithy: lower yourself. More specifically, you have to realize that it isn't lowering yourself when you follow conventions. Society is run by conventions, and just because you realize what they are doesn't mean it's a bad thing to follow them.
If you are really interested in getting in a relationship with someone, conventions such as chit chat are the best way to get in the door. No one wants to be inundated with who you are on a
deep level the first time they meet you, it that makes sense. Start off with mundane chit chat, then find some shared interests, have a more meaningful conversation (i don't necessarily mean a serious conversation, for god sakes be humorous and charming if at all possible), learn more about each other, etc.
Another peice of advice would be the old cliche "Be Yourself". If you post on this site I guarantee you are more interesting already than your average joe shmoe out there (but for god sakes don't admit to her right away that you have internet friends...jk, or am I?). You're probably well read and intelligent, and that is usually a big turn on for women, or atleast women that you would be interested in a relationship with.
As for your awkwardness in group social situations, I really don't have any sound advice. Just relax, be yourself and be confident. If you hang out in a crowd that makes fun of the things you say, or prevents you from being confident in some other way, get a new crowd.