Register | Sign In


Understanding through Discussion


EvC Forum active members: 65 (9162 total)
7 online now:
Newest Member: popoi
Post Volume: Total: 915,815 Year: 3,072/9,624 Month: 917/1,588 Week: 100/223 Day: 11/17 Hour: 0/0


Thread  Details

Email This Thread
Newer Topic | Older Topic
  
Author Topic:   C'mon Then - Abstinence
Silent H
Member (Idle past 5819 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 17 of 36 (221715)
07-04-2005 6:15 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by bubblelife
07-04-2005 10:16 AM


There are several reasons why i would advocate abstinence.
Abstinence is a way to stop the spread of STDs. It is one of the best, though when it is coupled with the fact that few can stay abstinent forever, it falters as the only method which should be taught.
Once in a relationship, whether sex happened before or not, sex usually will go on. STDs can enter the scene from spouses viw nonsexual mechanisms (STD means can be spread through not that it must be) so the idea that one can 100% avoid STDs by not engaging in sex until marriage and have a partner which does not cheat is mistaken.
Superior to abstinence in stopping the spread of STDs, much more fun, is masturbation. One can masturbate onesself or others with no chance of spreading or catching STDs, unless one has open sores of some kind on one's hand.
But that is really just part of an educational system of how to have sex safely. The Safest is voyueristic masturbation (watching each other but pleasing yourselves), or mutual masturbation. Next is oral sex without swallowing (and making sure one's mouth is in good health). Then comes sex with condoms.
In any case the most important aspect for everyone, and that includes those who have followed abstinence programs, is getting tested for diseases. Someone else has already mentioned and I concur that screening is one of the most important ways STDs can be stopped.
I do agree that emotions can be a part of sex, but longterm emotional commitment need not be, and its absence is not a harm. Expecting that sex will always have such a significance can actually be damaging as it raises unrealistic ideas about sex, creating a social commitment where there is not an emotional one, and can be disappointing for people in a relationship when sex loses that edge.
The oddest thing is to treat sex as if one form of sexual identity or practice will be able to fit all human beings evenly. If God has some good ideas about how we should live our lives then it must be wired into us, and the one thing that can be seen is sexual diversity. Some are not cut out for longterm sexual monogamy even if they can enjoy emotional monogamy. Some can enjoy sexual monogamy but are unable to commit emotionally to only one person. It is very rare for people to commit to abstinence. That is the most unrealistic expectation of all.
This message has been edited by holmes, 07-04-2005 06:16 PM

holmes
"...what a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.."(D. Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by bubblelife, posted 07-04-2005 10:16 AM bubblelife has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 18 by arachnophilia, posted 07-04-2005 8:14 PM Silent H has replied

  
Silent H
Member (Idle past 5819 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 21 of 36 (221831)
07-05-2005 4:27 AM
Reply to: Message 18 by arachnophilia
07-04-2005 8:14 PM


it's actually really good advice.
It's some of the best advice that can be given. It not only prevents disease 100%, it keeps people from getting desperate and so prone to making rash errors in the heat of the moment. And for men it helps ease the aging process as well as prevent testicular cancer (not kidding).
I keep forgetting if you are from the US or outside. You might remember that the US had a Surgeon General that proposed that very thing, and was booted out by Clinton after all the negative public reaction rolled in.
She still insists it was a good idea... me too.

holmes
"...what a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.."(D. Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 18 by arachnophilia, posted 07-04-2005 8:14 PM arachnophilia has not replied

  
Silent H
Member (Idle past 5819 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 32 of 36 (223342)
07-12-2005 9:00 AM
Reply to: Message 31 by kongstad
07-12-2005 8:29 AM


Re: Effectiveness of method
Combinations are the most effective, so teach the children, abstinence - condoms - hormonal birth control etc is the way to go.
Not really. Masturbation, including mutual masturbation is as safe as abstinence.
Thus only if you feel that spiritual health as defined by sex hating religions is a reality and important, then abstinence first.
Otherwise the question of what to do with your sexual feelings... and the only partners which are available are of unknown health (as well as yourself)... is: masturbation-mutual masturbation-protected sex (condom with additional contraceptive for heterovaginal intercourse).
And if unprotected sex greater than masturbation is desired, then it is best to stick with oral sex, without having a guy cum in one's mouth, and avoid a girl's menstrual blood.
Abstinence provides no additional physical protection.

holmes
"...what a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.."(D. Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 31 by kongstad, posted 07-12-2005 8:29 AM kongstad has not replied

  
Newer Topic | Older Topic
Jump to:


Copyright 2001-2023 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved

™ Version 4.2
Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2024