There are several reasons why i would advocate abstinence.
Abstinence is a way to stop the spread of STDs. It is one of the best, though when it is coupled with the fact that few can stay abstinent forever, it falters as the only method which should be taught.
Once in a relationship, whether sex happened before or not, sex usually will go on. STDs can enter the scene from spouses viw nonsexual mechanisms (STD means can be spread through not that it must be) so the idea that one can 100% avoid STDs by not engaging in sex until marriage and have a partner which does not cheat is mistaken.
Superior to abstinence in stopping the spread of STDs, much more fun, is masturbation. One can masturbate onesself or others with no chance of spreading or catching STDs, unless one has open sores of some kind on one's hand.
But that is really just part of an educational system of how to have sex safely. The Safest is voyueristic masturbation (watching each other but pleasing yourselves), or mutual masturbation. Next is oral sex without swallowing (and making sure one's mouth is in good health). Then comes sex with condoms.
In any case the most important aspect for everyone, and that includes those who have followed abstinence programs, is getting tested for diseases. Someone else has already mentioned and I concur that screening is one of the most important ways STDs can be stopped.
I do agree that emotions can be a part of sex, but longterm emotional commitment need not be, and its absence is not a harm. Expecting that sex will always have such a significance can actually be damaging as it raises unrealistic ideas about sex, creating a social commitment where there is not an emotional one, and can be disappointing for people in a relationship when sex loses that edge.
The oddest thing is to treat sex as if one form of sexual identity or practice will be able to fit all human beings evenly. If God has some good ideas about how we should live our lives then it must be wired into us, and the one thing that can be seen is sexual diversity. Some are not cut out for longterm sexual monogamy even if they can enjoy emotional monogamy. Some can enjoy sexual monogamy but are unable to commit emotionally to only one person. It is very rare for people to commit to abstinence. That is the most unrealistic expectation of all.
This message has been edited by holmes, 07-04-2005 06:16 PM
holmes
"...what a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.."(D. Bros)