Humor Strikes back

(We don't seem to have a general catch-all humor thread since the last one closed)Doctor, doctor ... | Science | The Guardian

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Steven Pinker, professor in the department of psychology at Harvard University and author of The Language Instinct, How the Mind Works and The Blank Slate, suggested this:

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An old Jewish man goes for a walk and, reflecting on his fortunes in life, addresses the Almighty. "Oh Lord, all my life I have been a pious man. I have kept your commandments, gone to synagogue, kept the Sabbath, been faithful to my wife. I have not asked anything in return until now. I have just one humble request. Would it be so terrible if I won the lottery?" To his astonishment, the skies darken. The clouds split, revealing a blinding light. A voice booms out from the heavens: "I'll see what I can do."

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Several months pass. The man decides to address the Almighty once again. "Oh Lord, you know I have been a pious man. I have kept your commandments, gone to synagogue, kept the Sabbath, been faithful to my wife. All I asked for is to win the lottery. And still, months after speaking with you, I have still not won it." The skies darken. The clouds split. A voice booms: "Meet me halfway. Buy a ticket."

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Martin Rees, Astronomer Royal and professor of cosmology and astrophysics at the University of Cambridge said: "One cartoon I like (I think it was in the New Yorker in the 1970s or earlier) has a salutary message for 'pure' scientists who get above themselves and don't appreciate technology."

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A rabbit and a beaver are looking up at the Boulder Dam. The beaver is saying: "I didn't actually build it, but it's based on my idea."

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Marcus du Sautoy, professor of maths at Oxford University and author of Music of the Primes:

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Q: How can you spot an extrovert mathematician?
A: He looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

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A man is walking in the country and comes across a shepherd with his flock. He says to him: "I am a scientist and if I can at a glance tell you exactly how many sheep you have can I have one?" The shepherd agrees and the scientist says: "423." "You are right," says the shepherd, "take one."

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As he is leaving, the shepherd calls out: "If I tell you what sort of a scientist you are can I have my animal back?" "Of course,' says the scientist. "You are a theoretical biologist." "You are right. How could you know?" "You have taken my dog."

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This message has been edited by CK, 08-Sep-2005 06:33 PM