I'm flabbergasted

So you did, but to me there's a big difference between being "brought up in an atmosphere of hate" and being beaten and brainwashed into becoming a part of that hate. A person raised by bigots is not forced to become a bigot themselves. I would not, for example, have so much pity for someone who was raised by parents who were members of the Ku Klux Klan, and became a bigot but was not forced to do so through physical abuse. But if a child is beaten constantly for disobedience, and is fed the type of scare-tactic "you're going to Hell if you don't do as I say, and I'll send you there" rhetoric that Phelps uses, they really don't have a choice.