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Author | Topic: Humor Strikes back | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
New Cat's Eye Inactive Member |
How does a mathematician solve his constipation?
He works it out with a pencil. |
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tsig Member (Idle past 2909 days) Posts: 738 From: USA Joined: |
Fantastic! Got it just right.
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Phat Member Posts: 18262 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.1 |
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold
Monday morning - it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly, neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days". Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!" The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. " Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle, and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.... "
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berberry Inactive Member |
That's hilarious, Phat. Best joke I've heard in a while.
"We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That's what I'm telling you."-George W. Bush, Gulfport, Miss., Sept. 20, 2005.
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macaroniandcheese  Suspended Member (Idle past 3928 days) Posts: 4258 Joined: |
haha. women may be bad drivers, but we're smart victims
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iano Member (Idle past 1941 days) Posts: 6165 From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland. Joined: |
brennakimi writes: haha. women may be bad drivers, but we're smart victims Ain't that the truth Nice one Phat
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macaroniandcheese  Suspended Member (Idle past 3928 days) Posts: 4258 Joined: |
whites only
the best laugh in a while. mostly work safe article with one small nonsexual picture. This message has been edited by brennakimi, 11-01-2005 06:50 PM And why you think you take a Ho to a Ho-tel Ho-tell everybody, even the mayor Reach up in the sky for the Ho-zone layer Now C'mon playa wants a Ho always And Ho's neva close, they open like hallways |
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
Ok, fine. I edited the whole thing so you guys could access the images. Sheeeese... you guys are a whiny bunch.
This message has been edited by Lam, 11-01-2005 10:33 PM
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
There, it's fixed. Like I said, you people are a whiny bunch.
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macaroniandcheese  Suspended Member (Idle past 3928 days) Posts: 4258 Joined: |
omg that's so cute *dies*
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nwr Member Posts: 6408 From: Geneva, Illinois Joined: Member Rating: 5.1 |
There, it's fixed. Like I said, you people are a whiny bunch.
I wasn't whining. Just informing you. I can survive with the humor thread. Now that I can read them, they're not bad.
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Phat Member Posts: 18262 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.1 |
A number of years ago a freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
And, for plenty of good reasons, since: 1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting 2. it is a major component in acid rain 3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state 4. accidental inhalation can kill you 5. it contributes to erosion 6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes 7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1) knew that the chemical was. Dihydrogen monoxide is water! The title of his prize winning project: "How Gullible Are We?"
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ringo Member (Idle past 412 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
Reminds me of Talking to Americans.
(Disclaimer: This website is intended for entertainment purposes only. In reality, many Americans are highly intelligent and capable of living productive lives. No Americans were harmed in the making of this website.) People who think they have all the answers usually don't understand the questions.
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3978 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.3 |
Phat writes: He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. Funny, and more than faintly disturbing. That you could engage good intentions with unfamiliar nomenclature and misleading language hardly seems like a science project (maybe political science, more tenuously psychology), nor does it demonstrate any gullibility other than the student's. Perhaps he could have imbibed river water for a few months to show how alarmist environmentalists really are. Of course, if he had included the substances (heavy metals, PCBs, raw sewage, etc.) commonly found in our waterways, then the petition would in fact make sense. I'm trying to recall a real world case where warnings about a pollutant turned out to be alarmist and based on junk science. From there, I'd like to compare a list of authentic environmental toxins tolerated by law with alarmist, junk science ones...you know, just for laughs...
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1405 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
you can also call it hydroxic acid (H-OH)
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